What's on your soundtrack?

What's on your soundtrack?

We all have soundtracks to our lives.

Songs remind us of situations, memories, people and places – but they also can have a broader and deeper resonance.

During the pandemic, the Nine Inch Nails song “Every Day is Exactly the Same” was on loop in my head and I listened to it regularly.

Since this summer, after our dog Luna died, walking around the house or in the neighbourhood the music in my head has been the Dusty Springfield cover of “(There’s) Always Something There to Remind Me”.

Last week I had a spiritual and existential episode that reminded me about the power of music in shaping our identities and nourishing our souls.  While it may sound a bit grandiose… let me explain my how it happened. I went to a concert at Toronto’s Massey Hall of one of the bands that sustained me during a challenging time. The band is The The, the brainchild of Matt Johnson and the album that gave me a lifeline is Soul Mining.  When the The The song “This is the Day” played last week I started tearing up as the years pulled back as I was flooded by memories and the years melted away.

 I had discovered this song and the album Soul Mining 41 years ago when I was 20 years old and staring to come to terms with my personal identity as a gay man. In 1983 being gay in Canada wasn’t as “easy” as it is now. “Pride” wasn’t yet a branded month captured by corporate interests – in a few major cities it was a fringe one day event. Homosexuality wasn’t talked about in schools and there weren’t that many role models – except effeminate characters used for comedic effect or villains of society. Being gay was most often seen as being a deviant – an outsider. In 1983 HIV/AIDS had captured the attention of the world and was thought of a virus that mainly affected homosexual men – a death sentence that some thought was divine retribution – and by others just as something very scary which you wanted nothing to do with. Thankfully music has played a good part in creating a new narrative, from David Bowie, to the Smiths, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, and Bronski Beat.

The The’s lyrics resonated with me and provided retrospection and the opportunity to embrace my identity. In 1983 I had great trouble coming to terms with my own identity and had few people to confide in, so I lost myself in books and in music. With determination, I decided to go on a journey of self-discovery and the easiest way to do so was to do a personal odyssey – backpacking around Europe. My view was to “know myself” and be comfortable with myself and my sexual identity or not come back.

 I had a bulky Sony Walkman with a few cassette tapes, but I lost it early on in my journey, so I created a new habit. Every city I visited I would go to a record store and listen to the The The Soul Mining album – in those days they would play a vinyl record for you in some record stores, so I’d get my regular musical dose and inoculate myself to get through the day. The song that I keep coming back to was always “This is the Day” which speaks to the potential you have each day to reinvent yourself. It’s sort of the musical version of Carpe Diem with its refrain “This is the day, your life will truly change. This is the day, when things fall into place.” Other The The songs had empowering messages to me such as “Uncertain Smile” with the lyric “How can anyone know me, when I don’t even know myself” but “This is the Day” has remained the constant song that I have adopted as my personal anthem. With a bit of help from The The, and people I met along the way, I came back from Europe ready to face my identity as a gay man and have never looked back.

I wonder how many people have similar relationships to music and if they can identify songs that have really had an impact on them. To riff off another “The The” song “If you can’t change the world, change yourself. And if you can’t change yourself, change the world”.

What songs are on repeat in the soundtrack of your life?

 

This is the Day – by The The – lyrics and music by Matt Johnson

Well you didn’t wake up this morning ‘cause you didn’t go to bed.

You were watching the whites of your eyes turn red

The calendar on the wall was ticking the days off

You’ve been reading some old letters

You smile and think how much you’ve changed

All the money in the world couldn’t buy back those days

 

You pull back the curtains

And the sun burns into your eyes

You watch a plane flying’

Across a clear blue sky

This is the day, your life will surely change

This is the day, when things fall into place

 

You could have done anything, if you wanted

All your friends and family think that you’re lucky

But the side of you they’ll never see

Is when you’re left alone with your memories

That hold your life together, like glue

Lucy Romao Vandepol

Confidence Architect | Student Affairs Professional | Mental Fitness & Empowerment Coach | Educator | Trainer | Speaker

1mo

Funny, I woke up this morning after being at the Bruce Springsteen concert last night with the words “Baby, we were born to run” in my head. His words last night felt like a call to action, a call to do the things we are meant to do. A call to embrace our potential, to ignite courage, creativity, compassion - to be EPIC and think of what’s possible.

Julie M. Castle, MA, CFRE

Dedicated to helping donors fulfill their philanthropic objectives

1mo

Great post Daniel. For me, music has been woven in at appreciative and experiential levels. Growing up, home was filled with the sounds of mum at the piano, playing the classics—Chopin, Bach, Rachmaninoff—while dad would perform recitals with pieces by Charles Ives and Appalachian folk music. I also played the cello in a youth orchestra and got to feel that energy of playing together with others. And then there were the bands I discovered on my own— such as Concrete Blonde, Lowest of the Low, Fleetwood Mac, Dire Straits, Alison Moyet of Erasure and Yaz which are all on my current and evolving playlist, along with pieces that take me back to happy memories with my parents, who are both now gone. I leaned into this range of music during the pandemic, and also found my way back to the cello; am enjoying playing in a local orchestra and taking lessons. 

Kimberley Ney

Community Engagement

1mo

Artists play such an important role on this planet. Sometimes they save lives. I remember when I came back to Canada with my toddler and we were living in a horrible apartment over top of a strip bar (all I could afford on the income from the 3 minimum wage jobs I was holding down). When things felt hopeless, I would sing and dance to that song with my little girl in our grungy livingroom. It was like hitting "reset". Those lyrics, "Take my hand and we'll make it I swear" reminded me of the commitment I had made to her and renewed my vigilance to fulfill that promise. Life saver. Thanks for sharing Daniel...

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