Weekly Musing #25 Give a damn

In a world that has grown more cynical by the day, it is easy to adopt a laissez-faire attitude, or with a more modern expression – whatever.

Of course said with a cynical chic shoulder shrug and a "why should I care?" attitude.

After a couple of decades of self-centered individualism, coupled with a near constant alarmist Armageddon communication and of course one big global crisis after another, I feel that a large part of the world has adopted the idea that the party is going to be over soon, so best grab what you can, while you can, and don't care about anyone or anything else, as long as YOU get what YOU deserve and are entitled to.

We have become increasingly shortsighted, seeing only the next short-term win and Me, it’s all about ME and MY success and MY way to fame and fortune.

Our people in power haven't been the best role models either. Power grabs, wars, polarized political debates (and not even debates any more, just two or more bullhorns screaming their agenda and using the “the other side sucks” argument as a way of portraying themselves as the better option.

“They suck so choose me”.

“Times are bad so choose me, they can't fix this.”

“Everything bad is their fault, why should I care about them?"

"They" and "them" can of course be anyone suited for the occasion, more often than other nowadays it's the foreigners fault.

No matter how or who or why, as long as there is someone else to blame, you can continue your fault-free life, blame others and care as little as possible about the outcome as long as you win.

With apathy and lack of empathy follows a desensitization of our senses as well, by grouping people together in a "them" and using demeaning labels for them, makes it easier to consider them as less human and easier to disregard, hate and even kill.

This apathy and lack of empathy is dangerous for any community. Short term it might feel like the own group is strengthened, the "us" is strong against "them", but using such tools to maintain order creates a society full of mistrust and suspicion, and their leaders always fall into the Machiavellian trap of having people fear them, rather than respect them.

Care and empathy on the other hand strengthens communities from the inside out, it builds bridges of understanding and fosters a sense of belonging.

When we choose to care, we rebel against the apathy that threatens to desensitize our hearts to the world around us.

So the paradox is that yes, we are genetically wired to care, to include and want to be included, which is exactly the same wiring that makes creating groups by using the “us and them” story so successful.

So how do we break out of this downward spiral of self-centered egoism and apathy towards others?

As with any change, it starts in the small with everyday actions.

You don't have to wait for permission to care.

Just start by showing gratitude. For something. Towards someone.

Practice empathy. Yes practice.

Empathy and caring can be hard if you have spent time and effort in building a hard shell against the threatening world and blaming it and everyone else in it for your misfortune.

But it isn't harder than taking a moment to listen to someone, really listen. (and yes, put the phone away, your notifications from your social media can wait. Forever.)

Reach out to a friend who's been quiet lately, or simply show some kindness to a stranger.

Practice an attitude of "leaving it better than you found it".

Be it the gym (yes, rack weights that others have left lying around), on the street (yes, pick up other people's litter) or the world (work to fix environmental and social issues created by others).

These acts of care, though seemingly small, have the power to change the tone of our interactions and remind others that they are seen and valued.

Practice the long game, start thinking in years, decades, lives.

Remember the old saying "A society grows great when the people plant trees under whose shade they know they will never sit."

How many of us start or create things that we will won't be alive to see come into fruition?

One complicating factor is however that we are so damaged by social media so we think it still is about ME when I care or show empathy.

But no, I'm sorry, it’s not about posting on social media about how much you just cared.

And no, it’s not about you getting credit for being such a good person.

It’s simply about doing it because it should and needs to be done, no matter if anyone notices it or not.

So start caring and helping, speak up when you see injustice or people being treated badly, start giving a damn.

Encouraging a culture of paying it forward, caring and showing empathy in our personal lives, our workplaces and in society as a whole, creates an upward spiral of positive energy, helpfulness and a willingness to sacrifice ones time and effort in support of the greater good.

Research has shown that teenagers who have fallen into bad company and are on the verge to becoming young criminals are helped more by participating in programs where they get to help others, than just being told to be better or participating in programs where their own self-improvement is main focus.

Nothing helps us as the act of helping others.

And coming back to the workplace, a true pay it forward culture can transform any organization.

Encouraging collaboration over competition, understanding over judgment, and support over criticism will lead to not only a more pleasant working environment but also to increased creativity, productivity, and overall job satisfaction.

It’s quite simple actually - when people feel cared for, they're more likely to contribute their best efforts and support their colleagues in return.

Finally, in caring more, we find a deeper connection not only with others but also with ourselves. It enriches our lives, brings us joy, and gives us a sense of purpose. It reminds us that we're part of something bigger than ourselves.

In a world that sometimes feels cold and indifferent, our capacity to care is the beacon of hope and humanity, the light that we all need in the darkness.

A world where we care more is a world that thrives more.

So start giving a damn.

Please.