Week 23.19 Roots and Branches

This past weekend I went on a retreat with one of the communities I am fortunate to belong to. The group formed during the early days of the pandemic (September 2020) intending to create a space for us to gather safely, which meant outside. Originally it was ten people, and over time that number has grown. Over the past 30 months, we have grown deeper in our connection. We enjoy gathering every other week, mostly outside, to sing, meditate, and be together. This was our first retreat, and we went to the Berkshires. The weather was impeccable, as was the company. Without any intentional effort, I barely used my phone, did not touch email, and generally only used technology to enhance the weekend. The experience afforded me a lot of time to think and reflect. Here are some key thoughts for us to consider.

I love communities because of the strong bonds created as we learn more about each other and experience life together. There is a strength and comfort in being together, becoming part of a team, and collaborating toward common goals, even if the ambition is only to spend a weekend hanging out together. This weekend was remarkable because I brought some new friends with me to the retreat, and while they knew a few people there, they certainly did not know many. Remarkably, individual members of the community went out of their way to welcome them warmly with an appropriate mix of curiosity and acceptance. Being open and accepting of new people while at the same time maintaining strong bonds within the community is no small feat. Upon reflection, it is also a sign of the strength and open-heartedness of the group.

Saturday night, we had an open mic night. Some people got up and told stories, others sang songs. And some shared meaningful stories about their lives - funny stories of their foibles, trials, and tribulations. The group laughed with them and held them safely in their vulnerability. The stories became more personal as the evening wore on (or perhaps some of the drinks wore in). In such a safe environment, everyone could speak freely, exposing themselves in ways that simultaneously liberating and grounding. My friends who were new to the community felt equally able to recite poems they had written or tell tales of challenges overcome. The evening was a powerful reminder of the premium we get from being in a safe environment with people we trust.

This group is an extraordinary group because while there is a leadership committee, there is no formal leader who makes decisions. Within that container, the culture that has developed is one in which each person brings what they want to bring, and somehow, everything gets done. People who love to cook make food, and bakers bring bread. Organizers make plans, and communicators make sure everyone knows what the plan is. Speakers share their ideas with the group, and people who love to sing lead us in song. People choose some combination of what they are good at, what they like to do, and what the community needs. This distributed leadership combination that allows each person to bring their gifts creates an environment in which no one feels left out or imposed upon. This significantly contributes to the community's feeling of generosity, safety, and abundance. It is quite an impressive feat to accomplish.

In life and leadership, we are given opportunities to foster environments characterized by trust, collaboration, and expansive growth. It is essential to recognize and cultivate the traits that strengthen a community while addressing those that may undermine it to achieve this. Trust and safety are crucial to creating a place where people feel comfortable being themselves and contributing their unique qualities. By nurturing existing relationships and remaining open to forging new connections, communities can have strong roots while growing new branches. As we build teams and communities with those we care for and lead, it is essential to keep these principles in mind. In doing so, we can promote a level of human flourishing that ultimately enhances the lives of all those involved.

Want to become a better leader/parent/friend? by Bill Zeeb 玄奘

When sharing my recent experience sitting for 6 days in a silent retreat, those who know me well could not believe their ears!  I must admit that for most of my life, a large proportion of time has been spent talking. Whether sharing questions or ideas, the power of silence has been underappreciated in my mind until 40+ hours sitting in noble silence. During the days sitting together each individual sitting session (up to 14 a day) would end with the sound of the singing bowl. The first days each sitting lasted 25 minutes. There were moments when I found myself with legs asleep, feet tingling, back tired, waiting for the sound. From Sunday lunch the sitting sessions were 40 minutes. The presence and resolve to sit still in silence from each member in the group helped the collective to strengthen our ability to sit silently together. And by Wednesday morning and our final 40 minute session, the sound came before I was ready.  Could this have been what the Zen Masters of the past 1000 years experienced when they spoke of “see through?”

3 Ways to Use AI Within Your Organization — Safely and Responsibly! by Charlene Li

AI is creating a huge opportunity for organizations to reduce costs or grow into new markets. But everyone will have access to the same tools and be able to generate copy faster or review legal documents faster. Disruptive leaders need to go further. They need to think about where they can use these tools to gain a competitive advantage. It’s also important to train your employees to know what to data they can use and what to keep private. For example, you may not have the right to use customer data to develop your algorithms which means you might have to destroy the entire algorithm if the data use is challenged. This isn’t about stymieing work or creativity; it’s about oversight and creating policies and processes to ensure the responsible and ethical use of AI.

As leaders, we need to approach AI in a thoughtful, rational way. When we do, we can harness the power of these disruptive tools — even create new ones — that help our organizations, as well as our customers, communities, and societies.

Taking control of our obligations: from “I’ve got to” to “I get to” by Caroline Webb

I’ve performed at Carnegie Hall maybe half a dozen times, and it never gets any less thrilling. The familiar sound of the orchestra tuning up, the buzz of the tiered audience, the excitement of standing for the first downbeat, the camaraderie in the Green Room. I’ve made great friends in the choir, and my husband sings with them, too, which adds to the enjoyment.And when life and work are busy, it's easy sometimes to feel – and to say – “I’ve got to do this.” I’ve got to go to rehearsal, I’ve got to drill the notes, I’ve got to be in town every Monday. But our very wise musical director, Mark Shapiro, said something at rehearsal last year that has really stuck with me:

“Isn’t it amazing that we get to do this?”

I was feeling pretty tired on the evening he said this. But my foggy head cleared immediately, and my energy soared. Yes. Yes, it is amazing that we get to do this. It is a choice and a privilege, and how lucky are we. That quick reframing of our commitment boosted my motivation and focus in a lasting way. The more we own the choice – and perhaps the privilege – in what we’re doing, the more energized and in control of our lives we tend to feel. So next time you feel stretched and catch yourself saying “I’ve got to do this, sigh”, try rephrasing it and see if it makes a difference.

With love, gratitude, and wonder. Scott