The 'Success' Fatigue

I wanted to share something with the VC and startup community that from time to time reads my posts.

Growing up in an orthodox Jewish environment, we did not have superhero comics or muscle-bound macho men of the 80s and 90s. Instead, we had Rabbis or “tzadiks” - the holy men. Children’s books, biographies, and novels were all filled with images of impeccable bearded, soft-spoken men who triumphed over any adversity with grace, wit, and good humor. I remember how during one of the lessons, our teacher (also a rabbi, but a real, not superhuman kind) warned us about what he called “Tzadik Fatigue.” The stories were there to convey a moral message, but the shiny examples of moral (and every other virtue) had an unintended consequence. Instead of inspiring, they may have left one feeling defeated and helpless striving for this unattainable standard.

I feel a similar fatigue about something much more mundane, but a subject that fills my own professional life as an early-stage VC investor. What’s worse, I felt I was contributing to the problem, so it’s time to own up.

VC Twitter and LinkedIn are a never-ending parade of success, humble-brags, and freely given advice on investment, tech, and social matters. In fact, my own LinkedIn feed to an outsider may look pretty shiny, presenting a face of someone who has it all together. Is it all bullshit? No. But is there a second side to the story? Absolutely. The truth is that there is no profit in showing the darker, mundane, and far less glamorous side of things. Human nature (including the primary audience of LPs and Startups) is drawn to confidence and success. Just Google a few names from the Forbes’ 30 Under 30 list, and you will see what I mean. The problem, of course, is that while most of us are sufficiently self-aware to realise that this is what we are doing, we still get influenced by outside messages, posts, books, and articles. So, here is something I wanted to share.

• I personally struggle with imposter syndrome on a daily basis. I am no genius developer, I don’t have a huge exit under my belt, and I don’t have the pedigree of a big-name VC. In an industry where only the top decile achieves anything, at times I cannot help wondering if I got it.
• We had and are having a difficult time raising our Fund I. Speaking with LPs as first time manager on fund one is frequently daunting experience, and I am not going to use difficult economic environment as an excuse. I am anxious about closing the fund, and I am even more anxious about delivering on the commitments from the investors who have already put their trust in us.
• I have muted, blocked, or unsubscribed from the loudest, most vocal guru style VCs and investors. I don’t care if these people are genuinely successful; I was never big on cults and their leaders, and this is what it feels like.

What’s next? On the social media, I will likely go back to doing what I did before. No bullshit, no preaching, but recognising that it is a promotion/connection tool and should be used as such.

On the business side, I will likely to continue to stress and doubt myself. And I will continue to move forward with the goal of building the most successful early-stage VC firm ever no matter how mediocre I can feel at times. If there is one quality I don’t lack, it’s stubbornness.

And finally, for all of you reading this, particularly early-stage VC managers, behind closed doors, almost everyone struggles, doubts, and questions themselves; it just doesn’t make for very good headlines.