The Spice Girls Got One Thing Right ...

My son turned 20 last week. Seismic and profound as this milestone was, it also reminded me of a much more moving anniversary - the 20th anniversary of my book club. This photo was taken when the book club turned ten and, despite us having 21 school age kids between the nine of us, plus jobs, businesses, husbands/significant others to hold down/manage/tolerate (all adjectives interchangeable), we managed to escape for a weekend in JUNE! June - the month of sports days, exams, school trips etc and there we were having our very own weekend in Provence.

It was a hoot. And quite different from going away with family.

First of all, we got off the plane and went to the car hire desk where, obviously, there was a massive queue. Where most of our significant others would have immediately had a meltdown at the concept of standing in a queue, our designated drivers stood in line whilst the rest of us had a nice cold beer. No drama.

Similarly, when we got to the supermarket, there was absolutely ZERO need for shouting and swearing or arguing over what was required and why no-one had thought to make a list, instead the nine of us each volunteered to fetch what we felt met our areas of expertise and meet at the check out. I was on wine duty, funnily enough. Though not as funny as Liz, who went off to buy herself some espadrilles.

We met again this week, the nine are down to 8 (Liz's life just got too busy, nothing to do with the espadrilles) and it made me reflect on our shared experiences over the last twenty years. Births, deaths, marriages (first child got married recently, not mine I hasten to add!), divorces (also not mine), physical health, mental health, loss of parents, redundancy, all the stuff life throws at you.

Made me very grateful for them and the other friends I've collected over the years.

What did Harper Lee say? "You can choose your friends ..."

Advice for a 20 Something

There is little advice I can provide for my son. He has sworn never to work in an office and instead is pursuing a career as a cyclist, about which I clearly know nothing. He also seems to be able to cook better than me and has taken it upon himself to be giving me regular advice (when he's around) about how to chop an onion (advice I promptly ignore, having been chopping onions perfectly acceptably for 32 years).

There is also very little advice I can provide to my daughter, largely because - unless it's what book to read next - she'd ignore it. Also because she's usually the one advising me on what to wear, where to get my make up, what shoes are the next "must haves", when the next "cannot miss" sample sale is happening (Vogue, Grazia etc etc are utterly hopeless).

However, the one piece of advice I would give to both of them is to value, nurture and cherish your friends. Be kind and be a good friend in return.

There you go. Easy.

Work & Friendship

My husband had a meeting earlier this week with a couple of people, one he already knew and the other a stranger. It was quite important and relatively high stakes so it was quite formal, as these things are. That was until he & the stranger realised they'd both worked at Arthur Andersen.

Now, for the 95% of people reading this newsletter, to whom Arthur Andersen means nothing, skip this bit. For the remaining 5%, you know exactly what I mean. Andersen had such a strong culture and was such an amazing place to work that the mere mention of the firm brings an all over warm feeling, a smile and a sense of connection.

Some people (myself included, I guess) took that a little far and many marriages were born (you know who you are) but the broader point is that relationships you create and friendships you make in the early years of your career can be powerful and lasting.

So, to all the 20 somethings out there - make sure you think about that when you choose your early jobs. If you can, make sure you like the people you're working with. You're going to be spending a heck of a lot of time with them.

You may not work with them forever but good friends within your work network are essential. They will:

• Give you properly honest feedback at all times
• Tell you when you're putting your head in the sand and sticking with a situation you don't deserve
• Give you the confidence to go for that job/promotion you do deserve but think you're not ready for
• Make introductions for you when you've taken time out and think it's too late to ever go back
• Make you laugh at how ridiculous it all is

I promise I can say all of this from experience.

Children: The Unanticipated Extra Benefits

More friends! One of the nicest Saturday afternoons of my summer was spending a couple of hours in the garden with some of my close friends and also my daughter and her friends. All off to the same festival in local park. Very special.

Culture Bit

Sorry, had to dash to meet friends in pub for drink so this is rushed.

Here is pile of books that I recently loaned my daughter's friend which she has just returned. She's studying English at Cambridge. I think they do mostly medieval. Mine are better.

TV you know. Slow Horse. Also going to try Hijack on a train. Finished Perfect Couple. Total madness. Apart from the dance.

Listening to: Barbican Station. A podcast all about Slow Horses

Thinking about. Caledonian Road. Wasn't sure. I am now. It's a classic. Deserves a read. Will take time. It's heavy.

I'm reading: the Juniper Tree by Barbara Comyns.

Off for dinner. Summer is back! Enjoy it while it lasts.