Showing up in America

This post describes the events of Saturday 5/30/2020 in Washington DC

A great deal changed overnight. This Monday I woke up feeling that the morning dawned in a different America. There are painful scenes of children pepper sprayed, peaceful protesters attacked, black protesters pleading masked white men vandalizing property to stop, there are scenes of property destruction and vandalism. There are reports of out of town troublemakers participating in protests intent on inciting violence. If George Floyd were alive, would he believe the scenes that are unfolding due to the injustice and power that led to his death?

This Saturday afternoon, I packed my book, a pen and yellow highlighter to head to the trail to a particular spot for couple of hours hiking and reading. Instead, I found myself walking towards the White House. Most of the Washington DC streets were quiet with on going Covid-19 stay-at-home directive. The scene approaching the White House was different. There were cars honking bearing with signs "Black Lives Matter" and "White Privilege is White Violence". The streets turning towards Lafayette Park on H St (north of the White House) were blocked by police cars. I continued on foot. As I turned, by Teaism which is now burned and vandalized, I saw the graffiti "Why do we have to keep telling you Black Lives Matter?"

Still I was not prepared for the scenes that unfolded - Park Police in riot gear stood inside Lafayette Park behind barriers. People wore masks, carried cardboard signs, chanted "I Can't Breathe! I Can't Breathe! I Can't Breathe!". You could spot the TV crews with masks and camera gear. The crowd was packed close to the barriers, it was possible to stay back and distance from the crowds. It was not chaotic. I stayed only a few minutes. Later that night, buildings and monuments were defaced, vandalized and set on fire.

It was hard not to spot the other America - the brunching America that seemed oblivious to the unfolding headlines. It was after all the first day of gradual opening of Washington DC, after two months. Some patios were packed, others spaced out. An Ethiopian hookah place was packed with chatty hookah smokers. I heard from a friend associated with a restaurant proximate to the protest, that they had to close down their patio directed by the police. Deliveries were delayed, and fortunately their storefront was not destroyed.

On Sunday, a classmate from Kennedy School with SpaceX was part of the team making history, showing us the best of mankind. It was hard to not feel the rage and anger demonstrated across the nation. At the same time, there were photos with commentary from another friend who lives few blocks from the site of chaos in MN. It felt contradictory to try to process all this information. Another friend expressed her grief who works on justice reform. Sunday night, Mayor Muriel Bowser announces a curfew going into effect in Washington DC. The crowd of protesters grows bigger. I start checking in with neighbours and friends.

Companies posting supporting Black Lives Matter and almost copy and paste social media messages. The cynical me wonders if they are doing so to protect their status, their property, their corporate social standing? I do not know if my firm has posted publicly, they have been reaching out to frequently, and the email I received last night was written with pain and a desire to change that we aspire to. As I write this post, I wonder if this is a "palatable" LinkedIn post? Will my colleagues object? Are we in a space where our feelings and emotions are not welcome in the workplace? I know as a brown woman the importance of allyship, of being seen and heard. Perhaps this is the arc of change. Perhaps this is the moment in time that the safety of a group of people becomes an inherent part of workplace discourse, and not an outside issue. Many companies, including mine, are committed to more than just cookie cutter sentiments of support. This is a long and important road to learning, unlearning and allyship.

How many more losses are we set to experience in 2020?

How will we respond - systematically, collectively. individually?

** This post was written 6/1/2020 Monday **