Science Says These Four Mental Exercises Make You More Resilient

Resilience is an invaluable trait to have as a human being. I don’t think you could ever put a dollar value on it.

Resilience is the ability to mentally and emotionally cope with the challenges of life and still come out strong.

Resilient people are like rubber — they rebound after being squeezed or squished.

It’s what bouncing back from tough times is all about.

I believe resilience awakens the giant within us.

Once awakened we have more self-awareness, self-confidence, and even self-reliance.

Resilient people are the survivors of life but I would even go a step further and say they are the heroes of life.

They have often gone through so much adversity but still, come out strong with their heads held high.

In addition in my personal experience, I have found that they are some of the nicest and most empathetic human beings you’ll ever meet.

Having been through so much they are often much more compassionate and caring than so many other people that haven’t had such adversity.

You may even know from personal experience what Im talking about here.

That is people you know that have been through so much and yet are still standing strong and with dignity and compassion.

Your ability to bounce back

It should come as no surprise then that resilience is a vital life skill to have.

It’s now even being taught in some schools at least here in Australia. It forms part of the curriculum.

Your ability to bounce back does determine after all how much quality of life you experience & to a large extent your level of tolerance and strength.

Without resilience, you’re like a leaf at the mercy of the wind which aside from drifting also gets all crinkled up and stomped on. It's super fragile.

Whereas with resilience you’re more like a tree that’s deeply rooted to the ground and remains standing strong despite the elements.

You may lose a few of your branches but you’re still standing strong.

You have a certain grace to you as well.

Resilient people are like this tree.

Weak people are like the leaf.

Below I want to share with you four mental exercises with the science behind them that shows you how to help build resilience.

They are mental exercises because essentially you are working out your mind when you do them.

The mind is a muscle that needs a workout just as much as the body.

So, let’s start building your resilience muscle with the following four exercises:

1. Face what scares you

We’ve all heard the expression “Face the fear and do it anyway”.

Popularized by the best-selling book of the same name ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers, it’s an expression that’s made its way into popular culture.

You must understand that in order to build resilience you can’t run away from what scares you.

You must face your fears. Be a David and face your Goliath.

To do this you must first accept your fears for what they are.

Just accept them (not to be confused with encouraging them) and acknowledge that they are uncomfortable.

Face them head-on.

Sticking your head in the sand won’t help, it only makes it worse.

Running away isn’t an option either as remember you take yourself with you wherever you go.

In addition, if it’s someone or something you’re running away from, that often shows up in other people and things.

This explains partly why people keep getting into the same bad situations and destructive relationships again and again.

The science of facing your fear

Facing the things that upset you and scare you actually relaxes the fear circuitry in your brain. It’s like walking up to a lion and discovering it's a cub. If it’s still a lion, that’s okay, as you still faced it. Remember courage isn’t the absence of fear. Courageous people face what scares them despite the fear. They feel the fear and do it anyway!

2. Get physical with exercise

The benefits of physical exercise have long been documented now for both physical and even mental health.

This isn’t just about going to the gym. Exercise comes in many forms.

As long as it gets your heart rate high and the blood circulating in your body you are engaging in some form of physical exercise.

For instance dancing, pilates, yoga, hiking, fencing, and martial arts are all valid forms of exercise.

Even sex is a form of exercise! That’s why it's come to be called sex exercise.

Many people may not realize that physical exercise helps in building resilience.

If you feel stressed and anxious and engage in some sort of physical activity, you’ll immediately experience a change of state in both mind and body.

You’ll notice a change in your thinking, breathing, and feeling.

This helps with building resilience.

This also makes exercise one of the few things in life along with music that changes your state immediately.

The science of physical exercise

Aside from its obvious benefits of helping the body stay toned and in shape physical exercise actually jump-starts the development of new neurons in your brain which are damaged by stress. This has big implications for neuroplasticity. Exercise also increases oxygen to your brain and other vital organs and releases endorphins (your feel-good hormones). It improves blood flow to your brain, and so much more.

3. Be a positive thinker

Positive thinking often gets a lot of bad press as much of the marketing and branding around it is quite inaccurate — it makes it look fluffy and non-realistic.

Some associate it with being a Pollyanna.

But when done right positive thinking is one of your most powerful allies in life.

To do it right simply means having a strong positive mental attitude (this is your thoughts, feelings, and actions) during tough times in life and practicing being a 'big thinker'.

Most people are mediocre in their thinking and so get mediocre results and when faced with challenges have no vision or exciting goal to pull them through.

Big thinkers are positive people and by nature are resilient because they expect good and even if things dont go their way they still look for the good.

They have a way of finding opportunities even in the darkest moments of life and this does wonders for building resilience.

The science of positive thinking

Science has found that positive thinkers are able to deal with stress better and bounce back quicker from challenges than negative-minded people. Science shows that some people are naturally more positive than others, but positivity is a skill that can be learned by everybody. The Mayo Clinic has conducted a study on positive thinking and its relationship with resilience.

4. Get a support group

It’s a well-known fact that humans are social creatures and therefore crave interaction with others. The exception is when we want to be alone.

There are times in life when you just need to take time to be alone. Alone time is ‘me time’ which is often needed.

But for the most part, we can’t stay alone forever and shut people out.

We need our tribe. This can be even a very small group of people ( two to three people ) that you trust 100% and can be vulnerable with.

Pets are great but they can’t replace human interaction!

A support group is like your own group of cheerleaders encouraging and supporting you, especially during difficult times.

We all need some cheerleading from time to time. This cheerleading helps foster resilience.

A support group can include family, friends, even neighbors, or something entirely different.

It's really up to you.

If you don’t have anyone or rather don’t feel comfortable with the people you do have in your life just reach out to people even strangers.

Remember a stranger is often a friend you just haven’t met yet.

A lot of the time it's trial and error with strangers of course but just keep an open mind.

There are dozens of groups you could join and now thanks to the internet and social media you are spoilt for choice.

Not to mention you can create your own online support group.

Having some type of support group will do wonders for your mental health and overall resiliency.

There’s an exchange of ideas and energy which is powerful.

It needs to be the right group of course. So look around till you find your tribe.

Earlier this year I joined a networking group and Toastmasters International and they are such wonderful support groups for me.

Remember a support group doesn't just have to be a counseling group/ therapy group.

These can be of course and have proven to be effective but expand your definition of what a support group is.

I think even a book club can be a support group if you feel supported and grow in your self-confidence and overall self-concept.

The science of support groups

Psychologists for years have said that support groups bring people together facing similar issues and help inspire each other. Many such groups have had huge success rates leaving a positive lasting impact on participants. One of these impacts has been an increase in resilience. Resilience has a bit of a rub-on effect on people. That is if certain members of a group are displaying resilience then other members are inspired to follow.

Conclusion

There’s a lot of science behind the four mental exercises discussed that have been found to increase resilience. To recap here they are:

1. Facing what scares you

2. Physical exercise

3. Being a positive thinker

4. Having a support group

If you were to do just one of them wholeheartedly and consistently you would see a real difference in your life.

Your overall approach and attitude to life would be so much better.

If you did all four you would torpedo your resiliency to the next level making you unstoppable in life.

To Creating a Better You,

Sandra D