The Science of Gratitude
Carlos Hidalgo
Co-Founder & CEO of Digital Exhaust - Making Growth Simple for Our Clients. Coach; Executive Advisor, 2x Author, Int'l Keynote & TEDx Speaker
I turned 50 in 2021.
As many of us do when we hit an age milestone, I went back and forth from not caring about 50 to asking "what have I done with my life"? And "what am I going to do with the time I have left that will leave an impact"? These are questions that I still continue to ask as a part of my Life Design plan.
These thoughts have had me thinking about dear friends of mine & Susanne's who after spending 27 years in our small town, moved away to a new place and a new job. When we think about our friends, we are certain that she may have known every single person in our town and clearly left an indelible mark on them.
Before she left, Susanne attended a brunch in her honor and listened to story after story of all of the lives she had touched during her time here. After the brunch, she confessed to Susanne that she really hadn’t known she had impacted anyone. I genuinely could not believe she had felt that way for a second; she is so beloved in this community. But, she is married to a man who was also well known, and had an important job and it was this that made her feel she had faded into the background…except she hadn't.
So where was the disconnect? The science of gratitude.
Susanne is a big fan of Dr. Andrew Huberman, a Stanford neuroscientist. Awhile back he did a fascinating podcast episode entitled The Science of Gratitude, which got both of us thinking much differently about it.
He says that the most potent form of gratitude practice is not a "gratitude practice" where you express gratitude but where you receive gratitude. He says we can all practice gratitude through storytelling. In fact, the positive impact on our brains is greater by hearing a story about how someone else was helped versus sitting down and writing a list of things you're thankful for.
Crazy, isn't it?!
Here’s the best part about our friend Cathy. Our friend’s daughter-in-law had people in town write letters to her about their gratitude for her. So she left here with a box of stories of gratitude to read anytime for years to come. What an amazing gift for her to read the ways in which her existence, selflessness, and kind spirit impacted others in big and small ways.
How does the story of our friend impact your gratitude story? I have mine and enjoy going back to it in my head frequently and I hope you will do the same with yours. If you are bold enough, share it with someone and see the impact it makes.
On the journey with you,
Carlos
Human helping other humans make meaningful connections on LinkedIn | Musician, Composer, Arranger | Cool Creative
1yThat's a great point, Carlos. Our brains are wired for story. Plus, hearing from people who are grateful for something you've done can be a real shot in the arm. It's nice to know what we're grateful for, but it's great to know that we've positively impacted the lives of others. Very meaningful. The box of gratitude letters sounds like a powerful gift. That's really cool. Now, whenever Cathy needs a a shot of endorphins, she's got a physical box of letters filled with memories and positive emotions. She has a wonderful daughter-in-law. Thanks for sharing.
Chief Marketing/Communications Officer, driving leads, sales, profits for SaaS, manufacturing, finance, healthcare, education, B2B, B2C via psychology-based strategies and execution. Global author, speaker, instructor.
1yi learned this years ago and am so very "grateful" for the impact gratitude has had on my mental well being, my expectations of self and others, and my ability to find calm and joy. Great post Carlos.