The Qareen & Human Psychology

You can have a great experience in your college, university, institutes, and they are the opportunity of a lifetime. You could meet friends or romantic partners who will be with you in this life. You’ll probably have lots of irresponsible fun. You’ll have true independence for the first time. You’ll learn many new things, ranging from academic stuff, to cooking stuff, to money stuff, to the beauty of diversity in human beings. And you’ll likely figure out who you want to become in the world. You will be inspired by some teachers and people, add to your skills and imaginations, and find new shortcuts on many challenging tasks.

But schooling comes with some huge costs, and you probably find it if you are already a student. Being away from home and loved ones can be hard. Living with new housemates can be hard. Throwing yourself into countless new, and sometimes intimidating, social situations can be hard. Cooking for yourself can be hard, so too managing your own finances effectively. Many of you will have to work on weekend, and the holidays to make some money. On top of all that, academia has its own pressures: exams, coursework deadlines, presentations and topics with increasing complexity.

Over time, these challenges may well bring you inner discomfort – thoughts and feelings that are not particularly nice, such as low mood, self-doubt and worry, lack of sleep, anxiety, and stress. Indeed, mental health problems are common across all demographics, but university students are particularly vulnerable. Especially in this time of Covid situation, inflation, lack of jobs and increasing prices of everything.

If you’re like many students, what adds to the risks is that you may find yourself unwittingly responding to any such inner discomfort in unhelpful ways. As some students for so many reasons they get low grading at the start, I was one of them. Then you think OH my God, my professor is going to think that you are not smart enough, you become numb and worried. You begin to feel sorry for yourself and start to drink or wander alone, some students get into the habits of self-doubt, and they start missing more classes and they get worse outcomes in grades, and they go into a deeper hole.

However, it gets worse. It doesn’t take long for us to get the idea in our heads that, to increase the chances of successfully escaping inner discomfort, the best way is to avoid any risky, challenging situations in the first place. So, start by evaluating the situation, and ask the teacher who and what to do to improve yourself, what text you need and show them that you care, and you want to improve yourself. Stop drinking and feeling sorry for yourself, focus on the issue at hand and how to improve your grade. Study more, study smart, and find smart ways to study in groups or with friends, using flash cards, or videos.

Imagine that you have a crush on a course mate. After a few months of planning to act, you actually do you ask the person out on a date. They say ‘no’. You act cool about it, but you are really quite hurt, and these feelings of hurt are something you would rather not have to experience.

Your first strategy to avoid this inner discomfort is to distract yourself with sport, parties, movies, or computer games. However, soon afterwards, you avoid going to places where you might run into this person that might trigger the feelings of hurt that you were trying so hard to avoid classrooms, restaurant, food court, school lab, nightclubs, the gym etc. The result is that your life ends up being narrowed because of your need to avoid inner discomfort.

Avoidant behaviors can lead you to a life where you either do stuff that’s bad for you drinking alcohol in excess, taking drugs, gambling, risky sexual behavior, isolating yourself, eating ludicrous amounts of ice cream or over watching Netflix, or you stop doing stuff that’s good for you, all in a vain attempt to protect yourself from feeling certain feelings or thinking certain thoughts.

It is not the end of the world, you have to move on, keep calm and cool, improve yourself and be positive and you will see that person will try to be your friend when they see you smart, toned, focused, trying to do your best in schooling, sport, music or art. Try to be more positive in your mindset and be confident in yourself.

Given the ways that attempted avoidance can negatively impact our lives, it won’t surprise you to learn that this strategy is a major reason for mental health problems. In other words, it’s in your best interest to watch out for the role that avoidance plays in your university life. So, try to avoid avoidance.

Extensive research, conducted over many years and from academics all across the world, mentioned that by focusing and doing these 7 things might help you in a big way. Therefore, if you want to have top-notch wellbeing at university, you basically need to find a way to build those 7 behaviors into your life on a continuing basis. In fact, right now, you may want to take a few minutes to create your very own wellbeing plan, where you consider how you might bring those 7 ways of wellbeing to your life, and ask yourself?

Exercise (Walking, sport, GYM, swim, etc.) what’s exercise going to look like for you: the gym? Running?  Swimming?

Challenge yourself. (Take a new hobby, study a new language, learn a musical instrument, etc.) Embrace the moment. (Life is too short, so love every second of it, walk in the park or beside a river, or see the mountains, sees and the birds around, and learn to relax with nature). What’s challenging yourself going to look like for you: is your university courses enough – perhaps you need something outside of it? Beginning a new hobby? Starting a part-time job

Connect with others. (Face to face is the best method, group discussions, camping, trips and travel groups, positive active discussion on LinkedIn, Facebook, and other social media, city hall meetings, and many different charity events, the idea is to get involve) What’s connecting with others going to look like for you: joining a society? Partying with friends?

Give to others. (Give your time, volunteer in hospitals, food banks, pet rescues, orphanages, blood donations, snow shoveling for elderly people, etc.) What’s giving to others going to look like for you: will you give your time to a family member in need? Or your energy to a charity?

Self-care (Try to stop or reduce smoking, alcohol or take any drugs, smell good and fresh, clean your clothes and dress to be healthy and happy not dress to impress, clean shave, and trim, eat healthy, and protect your mind from negative thoughts and people). What’s self-care going to look like for you: making the effort to learn how to create nutritional meals? Maintaining good sleep hygiene?

Mindfulness- focusing on the moment going to look like for you: how are you going to throw yourself fully into your present-moment experiences?

Worshiping God. (Group praying, fasting, be more spiritual and kinder, read the holy books, soul searching for ways to tone yourself with the creator and that he will protect you and look after you, he will save you and guide you. What’s embracing God and praying,

It is simple on paper, but there's a catch, which makes this whole thing not quite so simple. Even once students know that doing those things is likely to be good for them; many still don’t actually do them. Why? Well, their minds get in the way often, and especially, because of those difficult thoughts and emotions. Consequently, we need to take some time to think about how to optimally interact with the human mind, so that yours doesn’t stop you from living a full and meaningful life at the school.

Many smart teachers use the acceptance and commitment therapy (commonly called ACT) that’s an offshoot of the better-known cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). A principal aim of ACT is to develop psychological flexibility which will help students thrive at university (and in life in general).

1. You need to figure out what’s important to you now, the near and far future.
2. You need to figure out how to interact with your thoughts and feelings so that they don’t stop you from moving towards what’s important to you.
3. You need to figure out why it is important to you now and in the future,
4. You need to figure out when it is important to slow down, stop, reassess the situation, redirect your goal, when to stop feeling sorry for yourself and be more positive, and when to take the opportunity when it comes, as it is all about timing.
5. You need to figure out Where to direct your positive, and negative energies, to whom, and where are you going in your life and at what cost? Where is your next move in the Chess game of life, where are you going to work, where is your next move will arrive, and where is the beef, that is your pay cheque, meal, work, degree, where all that is coming from and when.

If you set ‘SMART’ goals, then you’re more likely to complete them. SMART stands for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound. Or you can use the ‘WWWW’, and involves answering each of these prompts for each goal you set:

What will you do?

When will you do it?

Where will it take place?

Why is it important?

Think of your age before your limitations, keep your imagination ahead of your knowledge, work smart then hard, find ways to shortcut to do the same result, be efficient and then effective, find the factors and facts that help you to overcome each problem. Work on your values, how to achieve your goals, your mission in this life and what is important for you, and your vision of your future.

Figure out what’s important to you through values-clarification exercises. These exercises prompt you to think about the areas of your lives that are most important (and, in your case, how these might show up in the context of your schooling life) and the qualities you’d like to bring to your behavior in those areas. Let us use this simple question.

If you won a huge amount of money in the lottery, what would you do with it?

Sometimes, the answers that people write down to this question might not immediately feel like they’re revealing a whole lot but, if you dig, you’ll usually find the gold. That is, you’ll get some insight into what’s important to you and what sort of human being you’d like to be on planet Earth.

 For example, if you write down that you’d travel the world, then what’s underneath that? Why would you do that? These are some possible answers:

• You love adventure. You might feel that you are alone, stuck in one place, in a nutshell, the need for connection and freedom, and release from pressure.
• You want to learn more about culture and history. Finding your roots, or just enjoying yourself away from those who know you and close to you.
• You’d like to connect with human beings from different countries. See different cultures and eat authentic food.
• You think that by travelling you’d be able to challenge yourself physically, and mentally.

For myself I thought about this question 40 years ago, and every now and then I reinforce my thoughts and it is the same as before but with more names in the list. I made a list of names of my family members, sisters and brothers, all their children, then my relatives who I wanted to help, and some of my friends that I truly count on as friends and share the fortune with them. It all depends on the amount and then my favorite charity is the orphans, the animal welfare and pet rescue.

So for me the focus was and still are my family and friends as sharing my kindness, love and prosperity with those I love and care for, it can bring me more happiness, and make me be more responsible human being, and maybe bring me closer to God mercy. My goal is to let them get rid of poverty as I lived it myself, I lived the poverty life, sufferer from it, and I know how it feels be poor, so by helping those I love it is my way to stop the cycle of poverty, as poverty breeds poverty.

Chances are, you can see that this isn’t rocket science, but you may well have questions about values and goals. These are some of the more common ones that pop up:

How many of these goals should I be trying to complete?

There’s no magic number with this. Generally speaking, provided it doesn’t affect your ability to self-care, then the more you act in line with your values, the better your psychological health will be. However, it’s important to note that values can trickle into your life in the absence of goals, provided you know them.

For example, imagine that you know you’d like to connect with people from different countries. One day you might find yourself at a bar and the person who orders next to you speaks in an unfamiliar accent. If you’re clear on your values at that moment, and are willing to let them guide your behaviour, then perhaps you’ll strike up a conversation.

Do values change?

Yes. Values are built from our experiences and, as our experiences change across time, so do our values.

If your education is important to you, then a long-term goal will be to complete your degree and, on the way to your long-term goal, you’ll complete many short-term goals. It can be hard to skillfully set goals without professional support, but certainly not impossible.

The problem you now have is that, as you move towards your values, your mind is likely to put barriers in the way. I often wonder why this happens. Why, when your education is important to you, does your mind try to make you avoid giving a presentation by feeding you terrifying thoughts?

• Why, when family, and friendship are important to you, do you mind telling you that ‘You’re not so good socially’?
• Why, when being physically healthy is important to you, does your mind suggest that eating an ice-cream is a better idea than going to the gym?

The reason your mind does this is that it has evolved to be ultra-sensitive to threat and discomfort, in my view there is another factor that science do not talk about, and that is the Devil Factor- yes I mean it , we call it the QAREEN- this Qareens are entities in this universe ,every human has it men and women each have one Qareen the companion , it has one purpose only and that is to keep you busy with your joy, fun, gamboling, negative behaviour, bad thoughts, and discourage any self improvement , to corrupt you, and put the self doubt in front of your face.

 While it pretends that it is your mind doing this, as it sees its job as being to protect you from such things. For the most part, the mind sets of doubts has been great for human beings in terms of survival if it comes from your mind. However, these days, if you listen to your mind too much, then you might find yourself living a life not of your choosing.

The devil wants a fun time, driving you away from worshiping God and prayers, from fasting and kindness, from charity and toward greed. Very few people know about this QAREEN ( the devil companion).

Verse from the holy Quran = ((قَالَ قَآئِلٌ مِّنۡهُمۡ اِنِّىۡ كَانَ لِىۡ قَرِيۡنٌۙ ))

((One of them will say: “I had a companion in the world ))-((Surah 37. As-Saffat: 51))

So when this Qareens give you a bad advice try to ask God to help you and then try:

Defusion – it involves taking a step back from your thoughts and following their advice only if that advice helps you to move towards your values. Because you don’t know if it is you mind advising you or the Qareens.

Self control - control you lust, greed, jealousy, envy and all the 7 deadly sins, as-context involves interacting with your stories flexibly so that they don’t inhibit valued action. Say you have the goal of trying out swimming, but you have a self-story of ‘I’m not very good at swimming.’ How then does that self-story function in your life? Does it stop you from doing what matters to you? The first step here is to become aware of your own stories.

Willingness involves embracing your unwanted thoughts and feelings while moving towards meaning.

If you’re about to walk into the first social event of the year for a new society you’ve joined, chances are that you’ll feel anxiety. The easy way to avoid the anxiety is simply not to attend the event. Or is there another option? Can you be willing to have your anxiety while doing this important activity? You have to try and get involved to break the cycle .

Mindfulness involves bringing your attention back to the present moment, in situations that matter, when your mind has wandered to the past or to the future. For example, when your mind is thinking about failure in the middle of an exam, can you look curiously and not judgmentally at that experience, and then bring your attention back to the exam paper in front of you? however taking three deep breaths will usually help you reorient your attention to what’s important in the moment.

Remember that the Qareen want you to fail, isolate you, depress you, anger you, stress you out, and destroy you. Don't ask me why, it will take me dozens of volumes to tell you everything about this entity called the Qareens .

Obviously, you’re not going to master psychological flexibility simply by reading the information and doing little exercises, but you can start by reading books and reviews about these subjects.

Imagine living in a world where you make decisions based on what you really want out of life, rather than being pushed around by your inner discomfort. Plenty of the best things in life bring inner discomfort.

Inner discomfort by itself isn’t a problem. Inner discomfort becomes a problem only when it stops you from doing things.

So, when your parents tell you to face it, face your problem, your demons, your challenge they are correct as if you ignore them, hide away from them, avoid them you are running away from the problem, and you will have no closure and no conclusion.

I believe the same logic applies to mental health conditions, including those with important environmental risk factors, such as post-traumatic stress disorder, which by definition requires a preceding (external) trauma. How does trauma cause post-traumatic stress disorder? Just as smoking, stress or diet affects the biology of the heart; trauma changes the biological workings of the nervous system.

 In turn, these neural changes alter our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. If someone has particular brain characteristics that make them vulnerable (these could also originate from environmental or genetic sources), such neural changes can result in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

At the same time the unknown factor to science that I called Qareen can and do have the ability to make you sick, depressed, stressed, sad, and angry full with lust, greed, envy, jealousy and hatred if you wandered away from God almighty. Remember that the Qareen knows everything about you, but he cannot predict the future, he cannot read your thoughts and he is trying to provoke you to say these words so he knows what you are thinking and how he will change it and discourages you from doing good deeds and kind acts. He walks with you but without shadow or reflection.

Antidepressants, but not psychological therapy, changed activity in the amygdala, while psychological therapy, but not antidepressants, changed activity in the medial prefrontal cortex.

The Qareen in Arabic language.

Based on what’s known about the different components of the affect network, our work suggests that psychological therapy alters the functioning of brain regions involved in focusing your conscious attention on feelings, which makes sense given the aims of many types of therapy.

 By contrast, antidepressant medication changes a region of the brain involved in experiencing feelings themselves – potentially directly changing your emotional experience. These findings have important implications for treatment, implying that the two treatment modalities could work additively; that is, they could be more effective in combination.

The Qareen knows that and the only thing can stop his strength and grip on your mental health is prayers, and worshiping God , feeling petty for the Qareen as they all going to Hell in judgment day, and unfortunately many Qareens will take with them those human who listened to them. Billions of mankind will follow them to Hell fire from the beginning and to the end of time.

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