Performing Femininity as a Safeguard in Personal Style

When we successfully perform femininity, we can expect the world to slow down for us - soften, even on the roughest days. This is because femininity is crafted for consumption. Patriarchy swallows femininity whole everyday to uphold its power.

Traditional femininity was a tool for self-preservation in a world that required women to lie: lie about her satisfaction, dreams, and altruism, but now it’s time to define it in way that’d still serve us if the patriarchy fell tomorrow. Redefining femininity means ending the theatrics and admitting personal truths that might feel too raw - too inconsumable.

Curating Femininity

Curating your femininity will be difficult once patriarchy falls since it’ll no longer be a guide. Asking questions like: “am I wearing pieces that cater to patriarchal beauty standards or my soul expression?” and “am I wearing this by expectation or choice?” is how we can begin curating femininity.

I’m not sure why some women still abide by 1950’s, cookie-cutter ideas of femininity in personal style and in our lifestyle choices. They hid the versatility of femininity so women couldn’t use it to their advantage, but now we have full access and, hopefully, the will-power to see it as an extension of our souls rather than a tool for survival.

Here’s how we can begin curating femininity in a way that feels safe, authentic, and liberating.

Embracing Contradiction and Chaos

Our wardrobes are the only place real anarchy is acceptable since fashion rules are meant to be broken. Chaos and contradiction feel scary because they offer the most freedom in a society that honors perfectionism and black-or-white thinking. Patriarchy is all about structure, rules, and rigid responsibility, so play has to become second nature again. You create your own safety by making your closet your playground.

Choice Over Expectation

Are you wearing things out of choice or pre-defined and outdated concepts of femininity? We did what was expected for survival in a system that made women subhuman. The inhuman becomes an object, and objects don’t have souls. Compliance is alienating because it separates us from our soul expression and forces us to ignore our guttural responses, but choice is an exercise in self-trust. It’s how you exit survival mode and become human again.

Redefining Beauty

Everyone knows beauty is in the eye of its beholder, but no one wants to forfeit the rat-race. White, patriarchal beauty is a race to self-hate and insatiability - especially if you’re a black or brown woman. In order to forfeit the race, you must give up, or surrender, your “victories.” The victory of looking 35 at 90, the victory of maintaining a 28 inch waist even at the expense of your health, and other “victories” that encourage you to be more and do more because you’re never enough. This one will be harder than others since prolonged oppression and coercion makes you mistrust the safety of liberation. Surrender isn’t just about giving yourself or something else up by force. It’s also voluntary abandonment of systems that harm us, rebellion, and community over competition.

How will you redefine femininity once the patriarchy falls?

In what ways will you stop performing femininity as a means of survival?

Let me know in the comments.

If you want to further decondition your mind around personal style and transform your reality, sign up for my FREE masterclass called “True Style Recovery” where you’ll learn to decondition your mind, define your identity, and express yourself in a way that mirrors the soul.

THEN

Download my FREE “Intentional Shopping Template” that’s designed to help you shop with intention and prevent impulse purchases.

Links are in my bio and I hope to see you in class!