Overcoming Overload & Overwhelm: How to Steady Your Ship & Thrive Again

Struggling to keep up with the never-ending demands of life? Find yourself feeling there is too much on your plate? Or like you are on a hamster wheel which going too fast and only seeming to get faster? It’s getting so fast that you can’t see in the blur how on earth to slow it down? If you’re nodding along, you're not alone.

Overload, is what I call, a "too" situation:

• There is too much to get done

• Too many problems to tackle

• Time is going too fast to keep up with everything

• There is too much on our shoulders

• We are being pushed too much or too far, with too many demands on us

That "too much", “too fast” feeling is anthesis of balance and calm. It’s like a ship battling strong winds from every direction, being buffeted around, taking on water and starting to sink. How on earth do you find the elusive ‘balance’ in that storm?

Sustained overload inevitably leads to overwhelm, and that can manifest in three ways:

1. Feeling buried under the weight of it all.

2. Being emotionally triggered by the smallest things.

3. Feeling utterly defeated, like you can’t handle anything.

Sound familiar?

I hear you. I’ve been there. Feeling ALL three, at once. Feeling like I’m drowning and the only way to keep my head above water is to continue to swim furiously. Having strong emotional reactions to everything (when usually I pride myself on my level head). Feeling like I cannot handle ANY of the things on my plate - even smallest of tasks feels insurmountable.

So how do we overcome this?

The good news is, you don’t need more big things on your already overloaded plate. Small steps can make a big difference and are enough to start steadying the ship.

Here are my three C's for overcoming overload and overwhelm:

1. CONTROL: Focus On What You Can Control

Stressors come at us from all areas of life: work, family, society at large. And unfortunately, the reality is, no matter how awesome you are there will be things you cannot control. There are the “withins” (things you can control) and the “beyonds” (things you can’t). A huge part of overcoming overload is recognising the difference.

Think about it—how much time and energy have you spent worrying about things beyond your control? Like your boss’s or client’s attitude, other people’s responses to you putting boundaries in place, the past? I’m not saying ignore these forever, but we have to be realistic. Your capacity is finite. It is more impactful to focus your energy on what you can control, where you can actually make a tangible difference. Use your energy to tackle the withins.

Focusing on what you can control, will yield results, rather than leave you continuing to swim upstream. This will this help lighten the load, but also counter that feeling of being defeated by everything, as you build evidence that you can reduce the burden.

2. CHOICE: Give Yourself Permission to Choose

Often, we feel we "should", “have to” or "must" do certain things. But have you ever stopped to question if that’s really true? Whether you actually have a choice about doing those things?

We make choices constantly. What time do I need to wake up? What shall I wear today? What should I have for breakfast? Where shall I get my morning coffee? To manage all this choice, our brain cleverly learns to make some choices subconsciously. The result — we do things in a certain way, that we have learnt to do, without thinking.

This is super helpful a lot of the time – but can be detrimental in certain circumstances if left unchecked. Those “should’s”, “have to’s” and “musts” – this is your brain telling you to do things, because you’ve learnt we should, have to or must do them. When we have too many of these … we become overloaded.

I was the queen of saying "yes" to everything—taking on more responsibilities, more projects, tighter deadlines. Why? Because I thought I had to, to avoid disappointing anyone else. I didn’t give myself the choice of saying ‘no’. The result? Burnout. The irony is that by always saying "yes," I was creating higher chances of the very problems I wanted to avoid—making mistakes and disappointing others because I was stressed, exhausted and unable to perform at my best.

So, give yourself the power of choice. Ask yourself: Do I really have to do this? Who says so? Do I choose to follow that narrative? What are my alternatives?

Making conscious choices puts you back in control. Life stops feeling like it's just happening to you, that you are bouncing from one thing to the next solely based on what’s screaming at you the loudest in that moment—you’re driving the ship again.

3. CLARITY: Define Your Priorities

In an overloaded, overwhelmed state everything feels like it is a priority. But, by definition, everything cannot be a priority.

When there are burning fires everywhere, rarely do we pause, step back and get clear on what is really OUR priority. What is important to me right now? What can wait? If I have to pick only three priorities, what would they be?

Remember: other people’s urgency does NOT have to be your emergency.

Put yourself first. What are the things that, if I tackled them, would make the most positive impact on how I am feeling?

Getting these three C’s working in tandem will help you overcome overwhelm.

Take a little time today to:

• Get clear on your priorities. What matters most to you right now?

• Sort your stressors into ‘withins’ (what you can control) and ‘beyonds’ (what you can’t).

• Give yourself the choice to focus on two things: One "within" that feels the easiest to overcome—build that confidence you can. And one "within" that, if handled, would have the biggest impact on how you’re feeling. What will make me feel more in control? What will make the biggest difference to me?

With these three C’s—Control, Choice, and Clarity—you can calm the chaos and get back to thriving, personally and professionally.

You’ve got this. You are the captain who can steady your ship.

Life's challenges are more far complex than can be boiled down into a short article. My thoughts are based on my personal experiences and what has helped my clients. But everyone is different. So please take what serves you and leave the rest.

Overwhelm is a really personal situation. What causes us to get to a point of overload is unique, based on our circumstances and who we are.

If you are struggling, would like a space to talk freely about what is going on for you and get some personalised advice, then I am here for you. Let's chat: https://calendly.com/thefulfilmentcoach/virtual-meet-30.