Lessons from my Dad....What 'I've Learned' during Quarantine

"Ever had one of those weeks - you know, the kind that seems like it's been a month long." - Dave Sanford

Flashback to January 28, 2014....

The first sentence of the editorial column (full column at the end) titled "I've Learned" I was reading just two days after the unexpected and sudden passing of my role model - my dad, Dave Sanford. I was in the midst of the worst heartache imaginable, grieving unlike anytime before. It was "one of those weeks" and it sure as hell felt like an eternity, not just a month.

"Yeah, Dad, it really hasn't been a week but you sure know how this feels for us right now," I mutter under my breath on the couch. "You always had a way of saying the right thing at the right time," (In this case having me read the right thing at the right time).

"In cases like that, the best you can hope for is to learn all that you can so that history doesn't repeat itself."

For the next few weeks and months, I continued to re-read his words. I was continually looking for ways to improve my life and reflecting on my priorities. Every time trying to pick up something new and every time something new struck a cord with me. It was the best therapy for me to cope during that time in my life.

Fast forward to present day - day 409,287 of quarantine and still unsure of the day of the week at this point....

I've pulled this column back out of the drawer and re-read it a few times over recent weeks. Again, trying to learn and reflect on my life given the amount of time on my hands quarantined at home (since I have 0 sporting events to watch). I think we can all agree that these last weeks have felt like months, sh!+ even years! But, as my Dad wrote years ago, 'the best you can hope for is to learn all that you can,' so here are five of my Dad's lessons that have resonated with me during this time:

"I've learned that you can keep going long after you can't."

Parents have now become employees, teachers and more inside the same walls of their safe place. Having no degree of separation between work, school and family and wanting to throw the towel in on it all. Working remotely, for me, the last few years is self-isolating itself, but having to extend to that to my activities and my other daily habits is almost unbearable. There are days I just want to give in and let myself go and continue to focus on negative, uncontrollable factors surrounding me. But I'm reminded now that there is so much more in us that we can continue to fight, crawl, scratch our way through each day to see the light on the other side. We WILL see the light and we will continue to fight for ourselves, our families, our friends and everyone else in the world to see it through to the other side. Stay strong and fight like hell because you CAN do it.

"I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you."

To me, attitude = mindset and perspective. I've found myself struggling with this recently. The news is changing every hour and causing me to feel distracted, stressed, worried and more, and thus, my attitude is changing on a dime. My attitude has really controlled my daily interactions, my thoughts and feelings. I hate it and I'm choosing now to be more aware of my attitude and continually keep things in perspective. I'm extremely fortunate to have my family, my health, my job and a safe place to quarantine during this time. Today, in this moment of uncertainty, that's the only certain thing I know to be true. I'm taking control of my attitude again and focusing on the things I know to be certain right now. Focus on the controllable things in your life - your attitude is the main one.

"I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences."

This couldn't be evident in today's current events. All of those in the grocery stores, the hospitals and other medical facilities and more showing continuous acts of selflessness to show up everyday to fight the good fight under terrifying conditions. Knowing the exposure and extreme threat posed to them each and every day and doing what needs to be done without hesitation is the greatest act of courage and heroism. To everyone on the front lines being heroes for the world (the nurses, doctors, respiratory therapists, grocery store employees, and more), THANK YOU! We appreciate you more than you know and we are in awe of your courage and compassion for others today and everyday.

"I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help."

We are seeing greater acts of community, compassion and friendship during these times, even when others don't have much left to give. I read a story that a man used the $900 he had saved up to buy himself something nice to instead pay for gas for the nurses in his local area. The amount of people willing to support the elderly and highly at-risk community by offering to grocery shop for them or pick of their medication is tenfold. The family restaurants and businesses that are on the edge of their seats to keep their business alive are being supported by their friends, family and community to help get them through to the next day, the next week, the next week. I'm amazed by those that continue to give to these folks, whether being asked to or not, even though they've given so much and aren't sure how much they can give. This is humanity at it's best.

"I've learned that the people you care about the most in life are taken from you too soon."

My heart breaks for all of those families that have been impacted by this terrible time and I hope you find peace and comfort in the days coming. Grief sucks so grieve the ways you know and for as long as you need. Nothing is scripted and normal and neither should be true of your grieving process. My dad was 58 and had a lot of life and love left to give to the world. I'm always reminiscing on our greatest memories together - the countless hours driving to basketball and baseball tournaments, the holidays at the dinner table, the laughs and tears - and still wishing we had a chance to make more. We've seen so many people around the world impacted by losing loved ones to something so new and so real and all too soon. Don't squander those moments you have with them. Don't get to a place when it's too late that you want it all back with them. Take advantage of the time you have NOW. The time you don't normally have with your family and those that matter to you most you'll never get back. We won't (and sure as hell don't want) get these chances to make memories in unordinary circumstances. Take control of those moments and create lasting memories to look back on in 5, 10, 20 years.

This world, as we know it today, sucks. It's directionless, completely unpredictable and uncontrollable. Take the time to do your own self reflection and make the changes for the good you want to see in your life and our world. I challenge you to keep going, keep fighting, control your attitude and the other controllable things in your life and don't waste the given we've been given. Stay safe, stay home and take care of each other...

I've included the original column my dad wrote below (not sure of the exact date written). Did anything resonate with you? Share your thoughts in the comments. Would love to connect and discuss your thoughts and learnings.