The Leadership Skill You’re Probably Overlooking

Today, I want to talk about something that can make a world of difference in how you lead: the feedback you don’t hear. I’m not just talking about the words people say to you, but the nonverbal cues, the energy in the room, and the subtle signals that can completely shift how you approach a conversation.

If you’re leading teams or negotiating deals, this might just be the key factor you’re overlooking.

Why Nonverbal Cues Matter

We all know feedback is important. It’s how we grow, adapt, and improve. But have you ever walked into a meeting and instantly felt the vibe? Maybe people were sitting back in their chairs, arms crossed, or barely making eye contact. That’s feedback — the kind that doesn’t need words.

Learning to read the room — whether it’s a virtual meeting or an in-person gathering — can tell you so much about where people stand, how engaged they are, and even what might be left unsaid.

Virtual Meetings? Still Applies!

I know it’s harder now, especially in a hybrid or fully remote world. You might think it’s nearly impossible to pick up on body language over Zoom, but trust me, the cues are still there. Are people turning their cameras on? Do they start their video once they see you’re on camera? Are they leaning in to listen or multitasking in the background? These are all important signals.

If you’re intentional about noticing them, you’ll have a huge advantage in leading the conversation where it needs to go.

Feedback Isn’t Just What You Hear

Let me share a quick story about my friend Amy, who’s been in senior leadership roles at both large and small organizations. She’s mastered the art of reading a room — but it wasn’t always that way. Early in her career, Amy was focused on delivering the right words, assuming that was the most important part of her communication.

Over time, though, she realized it wasn’t just what she said, but how people reacted that mattered most. Was the team leaning in? Were they engaged? Were they quiet because they agreed, or because they were checked out? Learning to notice these nuances helped her lead with more confidence and get buy-in more effectively.

How to Tune In to Nonverbal Feedback

So, how do you start paying attention to what isn’t being said? Here are a few tips to help you sharpen your radar:

1. Observe the Energy: What’s the energy in the room when you walk in? Are people upbeat, quiet, or tense? Take a moment to assess before diving in.

2. Look for Engagement: In virtual meetings, check who’s on camera, who’s actively participating, and who might be hiding behind a muted microphone. It can give you insight into who’s dialed in and who might need to be pulled in.

3. Notice Body Language: Even in a Zoom meeting, you can tell a lot from how people sit. Are they leaning in with interest or sitting back, arms crossed, signaling disengagement?

4. Ask for Feedback, But Watch for the Reaction: When you ask for input, pay close attention to the reaction. Do you get nods, thoughtful pauses, or immediate pushback? These responses can help you tailor your approach in real time.

Wrapping Up

At the end of the day, leadership is about more than just what you say — it’s about how you make people feel. And understanding nonverbal cues can give you an edge in how you navigate feedback, lead your team, and even negotiate better deals.

So, next time you walk into a meeting (or click into a virtual one), take a minute to read the room. What isn’t being said might be your most valuable feedback to create the best possible outcome.

Until next time, remember: Negotiation isn’t just a skill — it’s a mindset.

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