It's OK to Not Be OK

Kidney Disease. Transplant. Immunosuppression. Cutting. Suicide. Eating Disorder. Depression. Work Alone. There I said it. All the heavy words that our family has had to deal with over the past six to nine months as the grip of the pandemic really took hold on the world. On #BellLetsTalk day, I hope that sharing allows some of you to feel as if you're not alone.

Don't get me wrong, we have a lot of good stuff too! Edith and I have jobs working from home. Our kids have transitioned well to online/hybrid schooling. Edith no longer has to deal with dialysis. And we are lucky to have a family of five to break up the boredom of being isolated at home during the lockdowns and various medical recover phases.

But I'm Not OK. Edith is Not OK. Kids are Not OK. Everyone is in various stages of being Not OK. The last three months have been rough with new medical issues for Edith, and uncovering mental health challenges for one of our daughters has really taken any wind out of our sails. It's heavy, heavy stuff.

Advocate. Educate. Communicate. Talking about my challenges with family, with my friends, and with leadership and colleagues at work has given me the outlet to deal with it all. Our pediatrician has been a Godsend in supporting us through the travails that our children are facing. Guidance counselors at school helped raise concerns that they were seeing, and we talked about therapists who could help and they've provided an additional safety net. Mental health practitioners at Humber River Hospital continue to work with us. Most importantly is that the communication needs to be a two-way street. Over-communicate. Tell them your challenges, what you are seeing, what you are feeling to make sure that you walk away feeling comfortable being uncomfortable.

The road ahead is still long, and it will be hard. There will be good days, and some bad ones too. And instead of staring into the abyss, I feel like the tide is turning and that the road back up to the light is possible while distant.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and needs support, please click here to view a list of organizations with helpful resources.