The impact of social media on mental health

Last night my 15 year old daughter told me that as part of her English lessons she has to enter into a debate regarding mental health and social media (this week is mental health awareness week). She has embraced this subject as she knows the perils and has experienced them. 

Pre covid (2019) my daughter was sunshine, very rarely did anything dampen her spirit, she literally giggled and found pleasure in everything. Covid, home schooling, isolation from friends, my mother (her grandma) passing away and a huge surge in her time spent on social media, particularly Tiktok changed all of this. 

By the end of July 2021, she had cut all her hair off and dyed it blue, discussed breast binders, had self harmed and considered other scary things. No longer did she walk around with a glow radiating happiness, instead, she was a very sullen, confused and unhappy teenager.  

I was clueless, helpless, terrified. The fear for her mental health was huge. Thankfully I found out about the self harming through my sons girlfriend (how had I missed this?), and I started looking deeper into what she was watching and looking at online. I know I should’ve been more aware, I was drowning in the sorrow of losing my mum and also trying to survive the impact Covid was having on my financial stability. 

I was spending hours a day writing eLearning courses for travel, building a new business and not paying attention, not listening and wallowing in my own sorrow, work and mental health battles. When I stopped and took notice it was horrific. The easy access to harmful content was terrifying. I had no friends who’d experienced what we were going through but found some amazing resources and advice online and we sat down and talked and didn’t stop talking. We introduced a traffic light system, the colours indicating her moods of the moment, what was triggering her and finding positive dopamine alternatives (she is now an amazing crocheter and loves this). We engaged a counsellor, we asked questions to understand and we all listened to where we had failed her and could do better and rallied to get our sunshine back. Thankfully we did. 

I can’t wait to read her paper and listen to her perspective on the subject of mental health and social media. 

It’s mental health awareness week but it’s a subject that as a parents we should always be aware of. I still use the traffic light mood checker as does she and we talk and I listen. 

Here are some other tips that I found to be extremely helpful.

• Create a safe and non-judgmental environment: Assure the person that you are there to listen without criticism or judgment. Let them know that their feelings and experiences are valid and respected.

• Express genuine concern and empathy: Show sincere care and empathy by actively listening, validating their emotions, and acknowledging their struggles. Let them know that you are there to support them through their journey.

• Be patient and understanding: Understand that opening up about mental health can be challenging for many individuals. Allow them to proceed at their own pace and avoid pressuring them into sharing more than they feel comfortable with.

• Ask open-ended questions: Encourage conversation by asking open-ended questions that require more than a simple "yes" or "no" answer. This can help them express their thoughts and feelings more freely.

• Share your own experiences (if appropriate): If you have had similar experiences with mental health issues, sharing your own story can help create a sense of connection and trust. However, be cautious not to overshadow or invalidate their own experiences.

• Offer professional resources: Suggest seeking professional help, such as therapy or counseling, and provide information about available mental health resources. Assure them that seeking professional support is a sign of strength and can greatly contribute to their well-being.

• Remember, each person's journey is unique, and it's important to respect their boundaries and readiness to talk. If someone is resistant or unwilling to open up, it might be helpful to let them know that you're there for them whenever they're ready and that they're not alone in their struggles.