Identity crisis

I’ve had a lot of time to think recently (haven't we all) and I’ve decided that bookkeeper doesn’t the right term for what I do. It’s been well over ten years since I’ve actually written in a book as part of my job, other than making notes, and as far as I know, that’s not exclusive to bookkeeping.

And none of my clients write in books either, so there’s no need for me to keep them. 

Also there have been a few occasions where people have thought that a bookkeeper was some fancy name for a librarian.

It is however, the only word in the English language to have three consecutive double letters so I suppose it’s got that going for it.

I looked up the definition of bookkeeper and most places came back with someone who “records the accounts or financial transactions of a business”.

Even Urban Dictionary failed to come up with anything exciting, although I did learn that a guy called Pete in New Jersey came up with a cocktail called a bookkeeper. But even that’s disappointingly bland (just half a can of Red Bull and a shot of tequila).

I suppose it’s fair to say that I do record the financial transactions of a business. But I don’t really do much of that, because I get software to do most of it for me. This is the 21st century after all.

In fact, if all I did was record transactions, then I’d have to stop doing VAT returns. If I’m honest, that wouldn’t upset me too much but I think my clients might have something to say.

And I definitely shouldn’t have helped clients on forecasts so they can decide whether to take on new staff or get finance from the bank.

The reporting I do will have to stop as well, and those unpaid invoices can chase themselves, because credit control isn’t on the list.

I shouldn’t offer training on software or Excel, I shouldn’t set clients up on their new accounting system and I definitely shouldn’t liaise with any accountants at the end of the financial year.

Maybe I should give in to that CIMA qualification I got years ago and call myself an accountant? But accountants do tax and I don’t want to get involved in all that. (Urban dictionary definition by the way: "someone who’s obviously making more money than you", so that definitely rules me out.)

So I need a new name. I'm very happy for suggestions. I saw one that I liked:

“Double-entry Deviant”

Brownie points for alliteration but may be a bit too near the knuckle for the filthy minded amongst us.

I just can’t find one that really fits. So for now I’ll have to stick with the one I've got.

wellbalanced. bookkeeping and beyond.