How Are You ..... How are you really?

I get asked often “How are you”? and the standard answer is “yes I’m okay thanks” (but I have to really think positively.)

Positive thinking, positive actions, positive quotes – I’ve been following the guidance however the Lockdown for me has been pretty tough ………

March 2nd my son 28 years old, has pre-planned heart surgery which is part of an inherited genetic issue- don’t start me on how guilty I feel for unknowingly passing on a genetic condition to my 3 children…… “Stay Positive”. The operation went well – 3 days in ITU and a post-operative spike in temperature caused a specific test –“Mum I’ve had the Coronavirus test -but I’m clear.” News of Covid-19 was filtering through. He stayed in the hospital for 10 days and as we were waiting for him to be discharged with a large bag of medication the man opposite in his 30’s had stopped breathing. All the curtains were drawn and a makeshift emergency area was created on the ward. We could hear the noise around as nurses and doctors tried to save the patient’s life. We could hear them perform emergency CPR and other life-saving actions. We sat behind the curtain in silence willing the man to recover. He didn’t.

We sat shocked and were told we shouldn’t worry as this man had other medical complications. We came home stunned but put the incident to the back of our minds as I concentrated on my son’s recovery. As he started to feel better, I had a few commitments in my diary to complete. I had planned my diary to pick up a couple of weeks after his recovery. My diary was full.

My diary was full and then we began lockdown…….my diary was suddenly empty. I won’t panic, I’ll use this time wisely. I’ll look for the positive. My son was recovering at least he had his operation before the lockdown started and he could recover without any pressure to return to work.

I decided to cancel the morning carer for my 88-year-old Mum- prompted when I saw plastic gloves left on the porch step- were these gloves dropped on the way in or on the way out? How many houses did the carers go to? I decided it was safer to manage her medication and food myself- I now have 2 invalids although 1 is recovering. “Stay Positive”- my son is recovering and I am fortunate that my Mum is still here and I can choose to look after her. Many people did not have the opportunity to see their Mum during lockdown.

I don’t qualify for any grants or support, don’t panic- “stay positive”. I decided to put a recognised course online. This took me a while to find out how to do this and to record the course content on video. “Stay positive”- this is a perfect opportunity to put your course online. I had 4 people interested- 3 of them went on to take the course. This is not going as well as I had hoped.

“Don’t panic, stay positive”, then comes the meltdown as I realise, I haven’t earned any money since March. Should I give up, does anyone need my services anymore? The F&B industry is badly affected – who wants to know about allergens.?

I get support from many individuals which I am eternally grateful. I feel more positive, this is the time to keep going …..

On a practical note, I need to earn money I am stressed and not used to being in this situation. I have decided to look for temporary work or P/T work to keep me going. Positive action as I send in some applications which look promising – I can keep my business going, that’s the plan.

Then my Mum’s health is deteriorating- she has fallen twice in 2 days. I spend the weekend at her house to and from my own house. She is so bad I call 111 and the ambulance comes out -but she convinces them she doesn’t need to go into hospital. So, I’m responsible for keeping her safe with further investigations to follow. I need to “stay positive”. At least I am in a position to look after her – I am not busy with work so I have time. “Stay Positive”

I have been juggling various situations, I haven’t had time for long walks in the woods, taking up painting or a musical instrument. I haven’t even learnt the art of calligraphy which was a beautiful set I bought back in February. I invested a lot of time into an online course. I now need to add to the mix some paid work. I’ve not had a great time, to be honest. I’m done with Covid-19

How was your lockdown? How are you really? Stay positive 😊

“Keep Going

Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Keep going. Tough situations build strong people in the end.”