How to Stop Thinking About Someone

Imagine your thoughts are like a movie reel, and one character keeps taking the spotlight, whether you like it or not. It feels overwhelming, doesn’t it? This fixation, whether on an ex, a crush, or someone who hurt you, can drain your mental energy. But here’s the good news: you can train your mind to let go.

When I find myself constantly thinking about someone, the first thing I remind myself is that this feeling is temporary. I often say to myself, “This won’t last forever,” which helps me feel less overwhelmed. Instead of trying to force the thought away, I accept it and acknowledge that it’s natural. Fighting it only makes it come back stronger—a psychological rebound effect I’ve noticed in myself and my patients.

What works for me is setting a fixed “worry time.” I allow myself to think about that person for 15 minutes in the evening, no more. Whenever the thought creeps in during the day, I tell myself, “Not now, I’ll think about it later.” By the time evening comes, the urgency is usually gone, and I feel lighter. Another simple trick I use is wearing a rubber band around my wrist. When I catch myself spiraling, I snap it gently. That small discomfort pulls me back to the present and disrupts the thought pattern.

I also make it a point to stay busy with activities that demand focus. Exercise, solving puzzles, or even trying a new hobby helps shift my attention. For my patients, I often recommend replacing intrusive thoughts with something positive or exciting. Personally, I imagine future goals or plans that make me happy, which redirects my energy toward something productive.

Mindfulness is another practice that helps me. I focus on my breathing or observe my surroundings whenever I feel overwhelmed. It grounds me and brings me back to the present moment. At times, I also reframe the situation in my mind. Instead of feeling defeated by the thought, I tell myself, “This is an opportunity to strengthen my emotional resilience.”

These techniques aren’t about perfection but progress. Delaying thoughts, replacing them with positive imagery, or even snapping a rubber band may seem simple, but they’re powerful when practiced consistently. Over time, I’ve found that these strategies weaken the hold of obsessive thinking, leaving me with a clearer mind and more control over my emotions. It’s a journey, but it’s one that truly works.