Holiday Stress?

The holidays are upon us . . . all the hype, the parties, the gifts, the food . . . it goes on and on.

And, I know for many of you–myself included–it can be a tough season.

If you know anything about me at all, you know that we lost our son Michael on September 17, 2008. 

Before Michael died, we always did Christmas Eve at our house–the Feast of the 7 Fishes and all that good stuff.

That first year was impossible. We couldn’t decorate, much less cook and feed a bunch of people, so we chose out. 

I wish I could tell you that I’ve come to love the holidays over these past few years of life without Michael, but the truth is, there’s always an emptiness that sweeps over me this time of year. 

In short, I’m flooded with memories of Christmas past. I have dreams about him every night–none of them good. We’re always in some scary place, and I’m trying to rescue or get him to safety.

I’m sure Freud would have a field day with my crazy nightmares–each representative of unresolved grief, no doubt.

But the truth is, the holiday season (no matter your tradition) can be a stressful time for many of us.

Yes, people die during the season, but from what my clients share, I can tell you that sometimes the bigger challenges come from those still living!

Yup, those people. 

The aunts, uncles, parents, grandparents, neighbors, co-workers, and clients who seem to need more and more of you when all you’re trying to do is keep all the balls in the air without having them hit you in the head and knock you out.

If any of this sounds familiar, don’t miss this week’s episode of The Other Side of Potential.

I will give you the down and dirty of how to get through the holidays–how to manage the stress of this magnificent season of joy and celebration–even when you don’t feel like doing any of it.

Here are a few things I’ll be talking about in this solo cast (a fancy word for me talking to you!):

• How to survive, even thrive in the middle of modern family dynamics, include: The common disruptors during the festive season include imposing family members, unrealistic expectations, diverse cultural beliefs, and financial strain. Why it’s important to remind yourself of what the holidays are about.Creating new holiday traditions and rituals can help ease the stress–even the pain (I know this one).How do you deal with those disruptive family members and avoid the holiday drama?Recognizing other people’s negative energy is important so that you can assertively communicate your own needs without causing further disputes.The impact of mental health issues and substance abuse and why self-care is vital to how you move through the muddy waters of isolation during the holidays. Stress-relief solutions that include planning, prioritizing, and giving back. 

Believe me when I tell you that no matter your circumstances, you can find a way to move through the holidays with less stress and even greater joy.

As for me?

Well, we’re heading to Santa Fe, New Mexico, over the Christmas break, and I will spend a lot of time remembering Michael and how much fun we had there one Christmas long ago.

It was the trip where the landing gear failed to come down. Things started looking like crashing in on Santa Fe rather than the typical landing.

As I handed Michael’s Canine Companion Newton over to my husband and got Michael settled into the “crash-landing” position–all the while wondering how in the heck we’d get them both down the slide—

Oh, and the woman beside my husband freaked out because she was afraid of the dog—good God, lady, I wanted to scream, we’re about ready to execute a crash landing–and you’re worried about the dog!

I only thought about reaching across the aisle and smacking her silly, but didn’t utter a word out loud as I was too busy convincing my son that we were on a great adventure . . . and how excited he was to think there would be fire engines waiting for us at the airport . . . 

It all worked out, and we wound up being diverted to another city–which got us into Santa Fe in the middle of the night. Three starving creatures with our Christmas presents intact –whew.

The best part? It was a great story to tell, and what a trooper Michael was through the entire thing.

Remember: all circumstances, big and small, are intended to bring you to your highest potential.

Pay attention to those circumstances that show up during this holiday season. There’s lots of information available to you that might make 2024 richer and more meaningful. 

Above all else, set the intention to have the best holiday adventure ever.

Happy Holidays, wherever you are!