Have a cup of coffee with staff, or as another would say, crack a cold one with the troops – sit back and get to know them.

The typical military unit made time just to go out and see who could out drink the others, this never turned out well. In fact, it usually got some, if not all of us into some kind of trouble. I am not encouraging the idea of a drunken brawl or even that alcohol at a gathering is necessary, just the idea of getting together with the troops can have a benefit.

The idea here is the same used when my lovely wife and I open our home to those I work with. We need to be able to sit down and have a little social interaction with the team/unit. I agree that it has its negatives and can even be seen as fraternizing with the troops in the military. This does not have to be a social setting outside of the work environment. You can look at something as simple as having a cup of coffee.

Most of the staff I interact with know that I usually have a pot of coffee on and that the office door is open if they just want to stop by and chat about any number of issues. Some staff will not drink my coffee; it is dark enough that you cannot see light through it and you may need a spoon. It is just about being approachable to those I work with. It is also common for staff to hear me refer to the team as our team, not my team, and that I do not have staff, just those I work with.

By being open to discussing any issue I have actually learned a lot about different topics, these have included fertility issues, celiac disease, or cultural practices, just to name a few. If we had not taken time to sit down and just talk, I would not have learned any of this about the people I work with. Think about the conversations you have with those you work with and you hear about something you have no knowledge about. How often do you take the time to do a little research about the information to learn and grow?

We can then go back and actually have a conversation with the person and show a genuine interest in what they are talking about. This will also open us up to new ideas that we may never have considered. For line staff, this creates trust and shows that leader is truly listening and not just providing lip service.

Now, back to the cold beer with the team in my home.

Fifty people would be the average and is a lot of people in our home, my lovely wife still thinks I am crazy even after we made it work. When we discussed this, the emphasis was on the idea of inviting them into our home as a personal gesture. We could have rented a pavilion at a local park and had more space and even a large playground, but, by bringing them into our home and sitting on the back patio to have a cold one, we showed a personal side of ourselves. We could laugh and joke about life away from work, we could talk about our children and family, we could talk about ideas and thoughts that we never had time for at work.

You can even just sit down with someone in a break room and buy them a can of soda or bottle of water. It does not need to be a “cold one”, just take the time to find out a little about the person.

I recall a lesson from a leader I worked for in high school. Dennis was a solid man, I mean tough and driven. The business was family owned, Dennis, his parents, sister, wife and children all worked in the business. One of the lessons I learned from Dennis, even though it was not intended to be a lesson, was Sunday afternoon volleyball and barbecue with the staff.

The family would meet with the employees at a nearby park on Sunday after work during the summer, to have a barbeque and play volleyball. Usually, I would leave early, to set up the net and get everything moved out for the meal. The owners would bring the food and cook it up while we just kicked back. We would even get together for a game of cards during the cold weather months. This was a genuine sit down with all we worked with just to relax and have a social get together. Thanks Dennis, for the lesson.

Knowing and relating to the issues your staff are facing on a personal level is important. Helping them if possible (and appropriate) can help the team. If your staff are focused on personal issues, they are not focusing on the job at hand. You cannot solve their problems for them, it is as much about listening as it is solving.