Feel + Be = Do; A Wellbeing Formula

Let me share with you something I call Feel, Be, Do.

This formula is something I created when considering what wellbeing looks like when we try and implement tools, strategies, habits and new ways of feeling and being into our life. When we take wellbeing from knowledge to action.

For many, wellbeing is about doing things. Doing more activities, adding more to the to-do list, adding more to the strategic plan, adding more to the school vision, adding more to the day.

This way of thinking has led to many feeling tired when considering what to do about wellbeing before even beginning.

What's interesting is that wellbeing, when done well, is supposed to make us feel lighter, have more energy, live more aligned with our values, and how we want to feel. Yet too often it can be seen as too hard to achieve, something that's almost impossible, or something only lucky people can have.

However, wellbeing is not something to do or have, it's not an endpoint or an achievement, and it's not a goal or target. It is a way of feeling and being. When we know how we want to feel and who we want to be, doing follows.

For too long we've been focused on what we should do instead of how we want to feel and who we want to be. Meditate, exercise more, sleep more, eat healthier, host more morning teas, make sure there's a fruit bowl in the staffroom, and encourage staff to participate in the weekly yoga class. These approaches easily become more of an add-on to our day and are also often reactive, focusing on the symptom rather than the cause.

What we need is an approach that not only better addresses the cause of poor or low wellbeing but also allows us to ensure that wellbeing is part of who we are, how we feel and who we are being, and in the workplace, part of our culture.

Using the formula Feel + Be = Do, personally or professionally, you can start to consider how to establish an embedded wellbeing approach rather than just focusing on what to do, or what you think you should do. Often we think that if we do things we're going to feel better and be better, but in fact, we need to consider how we want to feel and who we want to be before doing anything.

I used to be someone who would do things, do more and more and more. Even though I was always doing more to improve my wellbeing, interestingly my wellbeing didn't seem to be getting any better. I now know this was because I was focusing on the task, what I thought I should do, rather than how I wanted to feel or who I wanted to be. I was so obsessed with doing all of the right things that I didn't consider how I wanted to feel or who I wanted to be. I thought these things would come naturally. However, the formula is not Do + Be = Feel or Do + Feel = Be, it is Feel + Be = Do.

Before setting out to write yourself a list of things to implement as you embark on improving and enhancing your wellbeing, ask yourself; How do I want to feel? and Who do I want to be? The same goes for workplace wellbeing; How do staff want to feel? Who do they want to be? Pay attention to the answers to those two questions, because once you know that , the doing will be evident.

If you want to feel energised and you want to be someone who values health then you're going to may need to introduce some kind of movement to your day and eat nourishing food. If you want to feel organised and be efficient in the way you work then you're going to have to do something to allow you to work that way, for example, you might decide at the end of every day you're going to organise your desk, you might keep to-do lists or you might work an extra hour a week because you know it means you're going to feel organised and you're not going to have to work on the weekend. If you want to feel connected and be present, you're going to have to organise your time and energy in a way that allows you to connect to be present with family, colleagues and loved ones.

When we consider how we want to feel and who we want to be, what we are focusing on are our values. Our values, being emotional states, will allow us to know what it is we frequently desire. For many of us, we may think we know our values, but without action what they truly are is a dream or an aspiration. So many of us say we value things like time, family or health, yet our actions don't always support that. 

If you take time to consider how you want to feel and who you want to be and start to slowly implement things to support this, than what you're doing is living a more aligned life and feeling and being more aligned with your values. In the workplace, instead of having values on posters in the staffroom or sharing them at the beginning of each meeting, they inform your actions, your behaviours and your decisions what they demonstrate is that if you work here this is how you feel, this is who you're being and this is our culture. 

So, how do you want to feel? Who do you want to be? What do you need to do to cultivate this?