Emotional Intelligence & Dark Feminine Energy

“It is within the darkness when the spark of your light truly shines”.

As a woman of the 21 century many of us are blessed - we have more opportunities, access to resources and personal freedom than the previous generation of women. With this also comes intense pressure to perform and to make up for the lack of freedom and support that our mothers and grandmothers generation of women did not have, which can be a burden for many women.

For example, in my country Pakistan today, I see a lot of women excel and take on the most challenging roles and societal issues. They are doing excellent work but are over-burdening themselves, burning out, and not prioritizing their health and personal time. Yes, they achieve but many lack an inner peace. I have seen women my age and beyond be resentful, overly aggressive and disconnected with their "feminine desires", which is to be cherised, admired, and to be taken care of in order to become a boss lady and survive in this world.

The duality of women's nature is misunderstood by the world at large. However, it is this duality, and integrating it in a healthy, balanced way that is unique to each individual woman- that is when a woman really begins to thrive. Gaining mastery over her emotions and how she articulates her value to the world plays a big role.

Feminine Energy and Emotional Intelligence

What does feminine and especially the modern concept of dark feminine energy have to do with emotional intelligence? Here’s where I know the link is. The most coveted skills in the human and social interaction categories by top employers today are emotional intelligence, communication and leadership skills.

Emotional Intelligence = self-awareness about one's own emotions and an understanding of other's emotions. Being emotionally intelligent requires you to communicate how you are feeling in a direct but non-threatening way.

Simply put, you are aware when you are angry, sad, overwhelmed and you can take rational steps to manage these emotions without damaging yourself or others around you. To a certain extent you can also guauge how others may react to certian situations.

Emotional intelligence requires you to be connected to yourself. So you know when you need to take a time out or remove yourself from a situation because you might burst out in anger or cry. You take active measures to manage yourself. Similarly, when emboding your dark femininity- you have to tap into the part of yourself that is connected with your best interests and express your emotions and behave in a manner that benefits you and your interest. Both require emotional control and self-interest.

The key to start building emotional intelligence is to identify your personal triggers- things or situations where you tend to over-react, freeze up or feel overwhelmed.

Identify them, note them down and see how you usually react and then come up with a plan to begin responding to them versus reacting to them.

Objective of Dark Femininity

Unlike social media platforms that tend to over- exaggerate things and reduce them to a meme, dark feminine energy is first of all not an aesthetic and second it is not there to harm, manipulate,or promote complete selfishness. It’s a state of mind that can be very useful for young vulnerable women or infact women of any age to protect and empower themseleves.

Dark femininity invites a woman to not be ashamed of her "intelligence and instincts" and use them to benefit herself. It asks her to prioritize her needs, put herself first and gain control over her emotions especially her light feminine aspects such as giving and nurturing so she does not over-extend herself to people or situations that may devalue or exploit her.

Do you need to get in touch with your dark feminine energy and upgrade emotional intelligence?

If you feel the following applies to you then I suggest you have to incorporate more emotional intelligence- dark feminine energy in your life.

• Feel like you give a lot of energy, time, support but never are appreciated from the people you want.

• Often feel exploited or taken advantage of.

• Have a hard time saying no/ or always put your own needs, desires, second to those around you.

• Deep down feel resentment because you want to be appreciated.

• Feel overwhelmed by intense emotions of guilt, shame, “being a bad person”, if you take actions to protect or priortize your own needs.

• Have the knowledge of a lot of things but are unable to take action due to second-guessing yourself.

• Tend to have emotional bursts - you keep a lot of things inside or tolerate others behaviours until you no longer can.

How to harness the power of emotional intelligence and dark femininity?

Dark feminine energy asks us to prioritize our interests and safety as a woman before anyone else. Emotional inteligence requires a person to be in touch with their emotions and be aware of others emotions at a basic level.

Both require women to be connected with how they feel/think. This self-connection allows a woman to make decisions for her ,that are in her best interest and provide safety in the long run.

Here are 3 simple ways you can get in touch with your divine darkness.

1. Begin to say No. If you don’t want to do something, are busy or it would be a real incovenience, simply say no. It could be to an employer, family member, friend whoever. If you feel like they deserve an explanation - give it to them. If not, be polite and provide a brief reason.

2. Begin removing/ releasing people, things, ideas, habits in your life that no longer serve you. This requires self reflection, is being a "good charitable" woman really serving you? Are the people in your life pushing you towards your excellence or always doubting you? Is the enviroment you are in nurturing or draining? Are you settling for your life? Begin, this slowly and observe who in your life adjusts or reacts badly to your new approach. That's your clue into who stays and who is released.

3. Treat & Invest in Yourself: Pleasure of life and enjoying moments without guilt, without shame is crucial to embody and feel your divine darkness. Women often feel guilty for taking time off. If you want to feel like a woman in control- you have to let go of control. Ironic but true. I have also realized that most women don't know how to really invest in themseleves- they focus on superficial things or items that offer instant gratification instead of investing in their health and physical well being. But it is that investment that will yield them the results that they want. So, take out time for yourself to rest, sleep in, relax, and indulge in regular self-care.

I have some great short-videos on confident communication and feminine energy on my instagram : Mariaeshahid. Do connect!

Until next time,

Maria

Looking for a multi-cultural & international communications expert for coaching and consulting services? Head to my LinkedIn Services Page to request services or you can DM me.

I offer 2 coaching programs called : Become a Confident Communicator and Power Pitch Yourself 101. Both are a six-week personalized programs for professionals ready to upgrade their communication skills and confidence. I also offer hourly based consultation and coaching sessions for those limited on time & budget.

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