Choose How You Feel
How do you feel when you wake up in the morning - besides feeling tired and wishing you could hide beneath the duvet for another couple of hours?! Do you ever feel anxious about what the day might hold for you? Do you sometimes anticipate problems and difficulties? Do you ever feel pressured because of the time constraints? Do you sometimes feel a little overwhelmed by the list of things you need to accomplish? Welcome to life in the twenty-first century! You’re certainly not the only one to feel this way. In fact, these feelings characterise the majority of people today: stressed, tired, pressured and anxious.
We know that the effects of long-term stress are harmful to our health and wellbeing and that these negative thoughts and feelings only serve to make everything seem more difficult. The question then is to ask ourselves if there’s any kind of practical alternative to thinking and feeling this way? And, as you might expect, the answer is – yes!
The enemy is fear. We think it is hatred. But, it is fear.
— Mahatma Gandhi
Before we consider how to change these mental and emotional habits, we need to be completely clear about what’s really possible. If you’re hoping to change the world to make your life easier, it probably isn’t going to happen. Life will always present us with a regular supply of problems, setbacks and challenges. That’s the nature of life. Our mission is to make sure that we’re properly equipped to handle the problems as efficiently as possible.
And part of that process of preparation means that we need to learn how to manage our feelings.
If you knew the secret of life, you too would choose no other companion but love.
— Rumi
Most of our emotional reactions take the form of acquired behaviours that we absorb during early childhood. We learn to accept our conditioned responses as if they were an integral part of our personality. We assume that our feelings are an extension of our individuality. How we feel is an element of who we are.
But is this strictly true?
We know from the experiences of individuals who’ve practised and mastered the art of meditation that there is a place within our consciousness that is so calm and still that the emotions no longer intrude. In some ways, we could say that there is no longer a distinct sense of self or ego through which the feelings can be expressed. This form of experience would suggest that our feelings may be less meaningful to our deeper sense of self than our everyday emotional reactions would have us believe. In other words, at a deeper level, we really are not our feelings.
If you want the moon, do not hide from the night. If you want a rose, do not run from the thorns. If you seek love, do not hide from yourself.
— Rumi
This would lead us to understand that our feelings are not a complete expression of who we are. We wear our feelings in the same way that we wear our clothes. We choose our articles of clothing, we put them on and we wear them during the day. They may well reflect our taste, our mood, our judgement and certain aspects of our personality. But we are not our clothes. We can always remove them if they no longer serve our purpose or reflect how we wish to feel or appear.
It’s the same with our emotions.
By learning to become more aware of how we feel and asking ourselves a very simple but deeply relevant question, we can learn to detach ourselves from our feelings and adopt reactions that better suit our needs. And the question? Ask yourself
who exactly is feeling the emotions you’re experiencing?
You might be surprised at the answers that bubble up to the surface of your awareness. You might hear a parent’s voice. Or someone who was very influential from your childhood. It’s amazing to discover the forgotten source of your conditioned emotional responses.
By cultivating a sense of detachment and developing a willingness to let go of what you’re feeling, you’ll discover that you are fully capable of choosing exactly how you want to feel. Like all good habits, it takes a little practice but the rewards are extremely worthwhile.
In any given moment, we have two option: to step forward into growth
or to step back into safety.
— Abraham Maslow
Perhaps this is the perfect moment for you to introduce some wonderful changes into your daily routine. Imagine how amazing it would be for you to wake up and begin the day by breathing calmly and deeply - and then choosing exactly how you wished to feel throughout the day. Can you imagine that? If all of your emotions were arranged around you in a circle, with you poised at the centre, which feelings would you choose to make your day was as successful as possible? Perhaps you’d choose a feeling of confidence. And a healthy layer of enthusiasm. Then you add a strong feeling of happiness, energy and profound wellbeing.
Does this sound possible to you? It can only be difficult if you believe that your feelings are who you are. Once you learn to detach yourself from the habit of responding in a certain way, you can make much better choices for your emotional reactions and take much greater control of your life.
Life presents many choices and the choices we make determine our future.
- Catherine Pulsifer
This is a very powerful and revolutionary approach to mastering your feelings but the benefits can help you to master your life in every respect.
And there’s more.
When you notice that you’re feeling anxious, frustrated, angry or afraid, you can pause and breathe and deliberately remove all of these unwanted feelings. It’s just like taking off an unwanted garment. And then you can choose the exact emotional energy that completely reflects how you want to feel. It’s a huge step on the road to personal empowerment and it’s an evolutionary leap towards self-realisation.
Try it right now. Take a moment to relax, breathe more deeply and see if you can find the kind of feeling within yourself that would best support the kind of day you’d really like to enjoy. Once you begin, it gets easier. With practice, it can become automatic. And then your life will move in a whole new direction.
Our parents bring us into the world but, in the end, we are responsible for what we become.
- Kahlil Gibran
Are you ready for a completely fresh approach to life’s great adventure? Get in touch with us today for a free session to discover how the growing global movement for personal growth, success, change and empowerment can enhance your life. It’s fun and it’s surprisingly effective. Perhaps it’s time for you to discover how you can enjoy your life on a whole new level of happiness and wellbeing.
Greg Parry created the Cognitive Empowerment Programs specifically to help people master their stress, overcome their limitations and explore the power of their true potential.
If you enjoy these blogs, you can imagine how much fun it is to have Greg in the room as an inspirational and highly perceptive speaker. It’s a fabulous way to enhance your communication and boost productivity. Courses run from a half-day to a full week. If you’d like to invite Greg to talk to your company or organisation or event, feel free to get in touch.
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