Bolster Your Resolutions with a Mantra

It’s the start of the year, well close enough anyway, it’s the end of January. We’ve made it through the back-to-work hangover and many of you who are in managerial roles have finished the slog of year-end performance reviews and compensation decisions. The resolutions set at the start of the year when all was bright, shiny and possible may have fallen to the wayside as you’ve gotten back into the routine of commutes, pick-ups and drop-offs, lunch-making and any other number of necessary but somewhat banal tasks.

Many of us begin the year with great resolutions about what to do; read a new business book a month, write a blog post every week, eat less, exercise more, stand up and stretch every hour, the list is endless. And so many times these great resolutions fall to the wayside for any number of reasons.

This year instead of setting a resolution, I have adopted a mantra. I can report that one month in, it’s going well. My daughter and I have decided that 2016 is the year to “be brave”. It is amazing how large an impact those two words can have on your entire outlook and approach. For my daughter, those two words have become the confidence boost for when she is scared at the doctor or is nervous stepping onto the skating rink or is hesitating to ask a question.

For me, the words propel me to walk into a room full of strangers and strike up a conversation. They stop me from hiding in the multitude of ways one can hide; seeking more experience or training, procrastinating, avoiding, telling myself I need to do “this” before I can do “that”, working in solitude to avoid criticism. I could go on but won’t and instead would direct you to read chapter six of Tara Mohr’s book, “Playing Big.”(Read the whole book while you’re at it, it’s great). When faced with a decision to do or not do something, so often I can come up with a multitude of reasons why not to do it. But consciously pausing and repeating the phrase “be brave” while admittedly trite, results in me squaring my jaw and doing whatever I was resolutely trying to avoid.

So why is that? What is it about the psyche that allows us to be able to pick-up and do with a little positive reinforcement? I can recall one paper from my undergraduate studies about the habits of medical students. In it, the writers noticed that many students adopted what was coined “the cloak of competence”. To quote from the paper: “Students were observed to engage in impression management to convince others and themselves that they are competent and confident to face the immense responsibilities of their privileged role.” So there is a bit of “fake it, till you make it” in that lesson, but for me, it’s akin to the “be brave” mantra.

That said, being brave is more than just being confident in one’s own ability, it’s also about acknowledging that fear will come with new situations and calculated risk-taking can result in reward. In the book, “Playing Big” referenced earlier, the author writes about two types of fear: “pachad” or a fear that is an over-reactive response to potential danger (real or imagined) and “yirah”, the fear that one feels when faced with a situation that feels bigger than oneself or transcends their current capability. My mantra of “being brave” is my mechanism for leaning into the “yirah”-type fear because it’s in that situation where one exposes oneself to uncertainty, failure or criticism that the greatest lessons can be learned and the biggest opportunities can be uncovered.

As I venture down the path of starting a new business, this mantra is especially important. It’s about shedding self-doubt, being confident in my own skills, wearing my own cloak of competence while also deeply knowing that I am capable. Being brave for me in 2016 is about being bold and being driven by curiosity. It’s about not starting with a “no” and it’s also about having the wisdom to pause before saying “yes”. It’s about having a plan, but being willing to veer off-course. It’s about knowing that the years of work in my field have led me to this next career horizon.

I’m excited and I’m feeling brave. Hope you are too. Create your mantra and have a great year.

_________________________________________

Leah Parkhill-Reilly is a results-oriented human resources consultant and freelance writer. She is an adept communicator, coach and partner. For more information go to www.parkhillreilly.com or get in touch with her via Twitter @consultantleah or email [email protected] 

(Image: Shutterstock)