APOLOGY IS SELDOM A DEFEAT OF THE SELF
Ever regretted, hesitant down, and left out before approaching someone who is a victim of your resentment? It applies to our day-to-day informal interaction leading to a sudden outrage, a confrontation between the official counterparts, the most loved ones who mean to you, including our children. The cause and intensity might vary. Though it is not uncommon, few of them leave a lasting impression. But all is well that ends well, provided one displays the required composure.
Anjali was waiting for me at the theater. We were the besties right from our school days.
Being equally fun-loving, we were also supportive of each other, which has further strengthened our friendship over the years. Having landed ourselves in the same workplace, we shared a mutual learning experience.
This long weekend, we made plans for shopping, lunch, and a movie after a long time. It was to relieve our stress after reaching the arduous project deadline. We were meticulous enough to make the booking not only for the tickets but also for reserving the table in advance.
“Where are you, Seema? We are already late for the show. Hope you are on the way.”.
Probably it was the nth time I received calls from her. With a feeling that I could reach her in a minute or two, I assured her that I was almost there.
Though I started reasonably early, I could not help with the unpredictable metropolitan traffic flow. If only my two-wheeler could hover amid the automobile rush hours!
Before I could take my turn at the destination, I suddenly got stuck up in the middle of the road. Gosh! The tire was punctured. Somehow, I managed to move it to the nearest service center (which was luckily in the same lane) and got it done.
It took a bit of time before I approached the theater, and Anjali was upset. Before I could explain to her, she accused me of being a spoilsport, as it had been an hour since the movie started.
I got equally annoyed while there was an exchange of words.
We parted ways as there was no mood left for any other schedule of the day.
It was quite surprising to see her unlikely temperament—she refused to listen to or accept a trivial issue.
By evening, the issue and moods got reconciled as we called up to say “sorry” to each other at the same time. As a happy ending, this weekend proved to be a big bash with our close cousins around.
It was a minor incident where all ended well. However, it may not be the same in every case.
Post-dinner, as I lied down with many thoughts that cropped up in my mind.
The next day, I sat down to record the same in my regular diary of events.
As far as I can comprehend, I endorse and express a few suggestions in this direction.
Life is a stream of ever-flowing emotions. They are rudderless to the numerous thoughts that arise in every mind, wherein there are several ways of expressing a viewpoint and looking at things. Sometimes, this process of interaction can give rise to conflicting circumstances owing to the diverse opinions and perceptions of individuals.
People who are hurt (physically, emotionally, and psychologically) reciprocate and manifest their behavior through anger, resentment, withdrawal, emotional pain, and frustration. All these can create instances that make them detached from us. It is sometimes a challenging task to either convince or console them in such situations.
Admitting flaws is the only way to retain and manage better relations, coordinate, and move further with optimism, peace, and confidence. It would bring about inner tranquility while proving our honesty, optimism, sensitivity, and responsiveness, besides acquiring self-respect.
It is a general view that acknowledgement of shortcomings and errors can undermine and make us vulnerable. Effectively evaluating the consequences of our actions can prevent us from making mistakes in the first instance. We cannot project to be flawless and devoid of shortcomings.
Nevertheless, making a sincere apology can never diminish or affect the self-esteem of any individual. Moreover, deflecting the impact of pointing at others by defending our actions and justifying ourselves will not do any good. In the case of the clashing of extreme emotions manifested in the form of anger, more arguments would not fetch anything better.
Seeking an apology, though it might sound like something arduous, indicates the maturity of your thoughts.
Though admitting mistakes involves complexities and clashes of ego, it enables one to cross the internal and external barriers of communication very effectively. Right through the formative years of life, we must honestly strive to guide our motives towards behavior and feelings and be cautious of the words we use while speaking. It is to ensure that people conversing with us are not offended.
In this process, there are few insights to approach.
9. Try to express and explain the reasons that led to the situation, yet be honest in acknowledging your part of the behavior.
10. Please try to analyze the perspectives from the viewpoint of the individual who is hurt. People are not wrong. They might be different.
To sum up, saying sorry does not mean you are defeated. You evolved to be a better human being with a greater perspective and an optimistic outlook. You win over yourself and others.
Me and Anjali began to evolve while trying to understand each other more.
Take pride in knowing that you are a person of greater endurance who has the ultimate opportunity to strengthen your mind, thoughts, and character. It applies to flaws from either side (bby both parties involved). Because it is better to avoid stress and conflict and show the initiative to let go and move forward from your end.
It is better to do a self-analysis with these three queries before even starting a conversation.
Is it true?
Is it necessary or important?
Is it kind enough?
It can pave the way for elevating the responsiveness of minds.
Anyone in your mind to say sorry? Move on, forego the ego, and let go, folks. It helps.
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