#ADHDAwarenessMonth - some awareness from my ADHD brain.

I noticed this weekend that we are, amongst many other things in the world of course, amidst #ADHDawarenessmonth.

Now I thought long and hard about sharing something here because 1. I am relatively new to it all (10 months) and as a result been through all the emotional processes imaginable, 2. there's plenty of ADHD 'influencers' and thinkers getting their versions out there, and 3. the fact I would rather be known for my work and character, and less so my neurological makeup.

That said, its messaging has been grating on me a bit, and I think awareness is a chance to share the right awareness about what it is and isn't. Having had a weekend of looking at Instagram reels of a reductive nature, I felt the need to write.

ADHD is very much positioned as 'I lost my keys whoopsie' or a 'superpower'. A combo of quirks and of mental strengths, and at times ubiquitous ones. That is all correct by the way. But it is not the whole piece.

A lot of the external facing ADHD traits of quick thinking/speaking/leg shaking/zoning out/distraction etc are a symptom of a brain processing further quantities of stimulation and hunting dopamine. 

Now the 'we all have ADHD' brigade of course rightly self-identify with some of these external facing factors. But correlation and causation are different of course and has set a murky precedent. If you Venn Diagram most neurotypicals' and neurodivergents' features (of any kind) there will always be overlaps, especially of the external facing characteristics. But that is where the similarities end.

The internal volume of thoughts and problems that ADHD have rendered 95% of us suffering from Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). We're talking overthinking, crushing anxiety, feeling like your hated/you upset people/you fucked up after any interaction with your hyperactivity. Not being able to attribute our issues and cause of worry due to influx of signals. The lot. It is the real behind the scenes, behind the leg shake issue. It is something to look into if you really want to become truly aware - I found this article my psychiatrist shared quite useful https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-adhd/

I don't have all the answers; I have spent the months since my diagnosis processing/trying to understand it, manage it, and I'm now on a little blue pill in a morning which is allegedly a stimulant (much to the amusement of friends and family, but it is to help regulate the variable dopamine hence the name). I've incidentally also realised my diagnosis of Anxiety & Depression and a litany of tablets in 2018 may have been undiagnosed ADHD after all, so that has been a rewire for me put it that way, especially looking back wishing I knew so others could too!

But my point is, it is important to not be beguiled by pithy takes driving a self-identification, cry-wolf or indeed the notion it is all fun and games. It is not a mere problem, and yes it should be a badge of honour to a degree - we have some exceptional talents if I do say so myself. But it isn't all beer and skittles -  It is not all pros and after all it is a registered disability. Real paradoxes. Unsurprising given its sheer turbine level energy the condition emits. 

So definitely, use this month to consider the true depth of ADHD beyond the surface level similarities that could seem common and easy to dismiss, and think about the challenges on the inside that drive those traits. A feeling of understanding and being understood is a human trait we all want; for ADHDers I bet it means more that you could possibly imagine.

SA

Like I say I am very much still a work in progress on this whole thing, but if you have it and want to chat about it, just drop me a message. Maybe we can support each other, Alternatively additudemag.com has always been helpful for me.