8 Mile Theory. Learn from B-Rabbit (Eminem) the Power of "Say It First" to Earn Credibility, Respect, and Trust-Based Relationships.

It’s the final scene in the movie, 8 Mile, the docu-drama film inspired by Eminem’s rise from an unknown to one of the biggest musical artists ever.

B-Rabbit (Eminem) overcomes his stage fright and makes it to the finals of the freestyle competition in the Shelter-inspired basement venue (it really exists), to face his nemesis Papa Doc with bragging rights and street credibility on the line between their two camps, 3-1-3 and The Free World. In Rocky vs. Apollo like fashion, B-Rabbit is the big underdog having “choked” and succumbed to the pressure in an earlier competition, becoming the laughing stock of the underground Detroit hip-hop scene.

With the confidence & belief of his friend, Future (played by Mekhi Phifer and inspired by Proof), B-Rabbit has the chance to win the respect and accolades of his peers, and even more important, confidence in himself, by defeating Papa Doc in the freestyle round finals.

Future operating as the competition MC, flips a coin to determine who goes first. B-Rabbit wins & reaches for the mic.

He takes the mic, takes in a deep breath, faces down a staring crowd waiting for him to choke once again. Over a pulsing beat, he launches into first bar, “Everybody from the 3-1-3, put your hands up and follow me...”

Now what do you think he rapped about next…How great he is? How he has the best lyrical ability of any rapper in Detroit?

Nope. Instead, he decides to shred himself first.

B-Rabbit proceeds with a freestyle inspired first and foremost by exposing all his own weaknesses and shortcomings. He rhymes about his modest means (lives in a trailer and tattered clothes), his unfaithful girlfriend and his crazy friend Cheddar Bob. He takes all the “negative” material that his competition could use against him and says it himself.

He ends with a challenge to Papa Doc, “Now tell them something they don’t already know about me!” 

In 90 seconds, he turns a crowd of doubters into supporting fans. But what happens next is even more powerful.

Papa Doc takes the mic to skewer B-Rabbit and to exude his dominance yet again. Over the same pulsing beat, he gets ready to launch into his own freestyle. He leans into the mic ready to tear down B-Rabbit and he says...NOTHING!!!

That’s right, his competition, Papa Doc, is SPEECHLESS. Everything he wanted to say about B-Rabbit (his poverty status, unfaithful girlfriend, and friend, Cheddar Bob) had already been said by B-Rabbit himself.

The adoring crowd erupts, Future awards Detroit freestyle supremacy to B-Rabbit, and the anthem “Lose Yourself” is queued up in this inspirational movie ending.

Now what can we learn from B-Rabbit's strategy in this final scene to endear ourselves to others, build trust-based relationships, and win in business and life...

It’s quite simple…SAY IT FIRST.

That is be forthcoming, lead with your faults, and say it before your audience (insert friend, family, boss, client, etc.) does.

That sounds counterintuitive right?

Throughout life we’re taught to lead with our strengths and to focus on the positives. Tell them what you’re good at. Whether on the school yard as a child hoping to picked for the team or in the board room trying to convince a company why they should do business with you, you feel the need to prove that you're great. In a world of one up-manship and seeking validation, that’s what our minds are trained to do.

Some examples…

• When conveying the status of a project, we find ourselves focusing on all the things going right, and gloss over the trouble spots.
• When selling a product or service, we hone in on all the great virtues of our company, products and services, and then stand silent on our weaknesses or gaps.
• When we make mistakes, we try to draw attention away from the mistake and to focus on something else, hoping the mistake won’t be noticed.

We just can’t help it. We’ve been programmed to communicate in this manner since trying to hide the spilled glass of milk from Mom and Dad.

Well, what if we took the B-Rabbit/Eminem approach in his final bout with Papa Doc in 8 Mile and we were proactive & forthcoming in highlighting our faults, solution gaps or weaknesses/area for improvement, before our audience does it first?

Some examples…

• Focusing on the red (late) items on the status report first.
• Highlighting the gaps in your solution or approach (coupled with a closure plan of course).
• Raising your hand to own a mistake before it is discovered or pointed out.
• Calling out your weaknesses and areas that require improvement.

I will tell you what will happen - you will gain trust, credibility, and RESPECT.

And in the long run those are the lasting virtues you want in a person, friend, and/or trusted business partner. And these are the virtues that will lead to success and long-term partnership, vs. fleeting, short-term wins.

And it will also take out much of the air (and sometimes venom) from your audience that awaits you when you don’t say it first.

If you know the shortcoming is there, your audience most likely does as well. And if they point it out first, your credibility takes a shot. Even worse, they’re aware of it, they choose not to say anything, and you leave with a false sense of security.

Be like B-Rabbit in the basement of the Shelter and take on Papa Doc by SAYING IT FIRST!

Long-term, trust-based relationships and partnerships (or Detroit rap supremacy) could be soon to follow.

[“Lose Yourself” is queued up as you leave the room...]