8 easy things to do if you feel triggered this Christmas.

This time of year can be triggering for many of us.

It definitely is for me.

I find myself going back to when my dad was alive, and we knew it was his last Christmas and then replaying all of that in my mind. I should have done more, I should have taken more time off work to spend with him etc.

Then I move my thoughts to my mum, who is now bedridden with dementia and no longer knows who I am most of the time. I wonder how many more times I will grieve for her, what will next year bring?

Reliving the past or worrying about the future is one of the ways we create stress and anxiety for ourselves. I am especially good at this at Christmas!

There are so many emotions this all brings up for me. I remember how sad I have been each Christmas since then and how not being able to see mum for so long because of lockdown significantly impacted her health.

We all have things that create these moments and I feel like Christmas is a time when these feelings are heightened, so I thought I would share my experiences too, it is helpful for me and hopefully helpful for others.

Below is a list of the things I go to to support myself when I am feeling sad, stressed or anxious:

1.    Pay attention to your feelings, don’t push them aside. It is important that you notice and acknowledge what you are feeling

2.    Ask yourself what you need, not your head, ask your gut, and do your best to listen and provide that for yourself

3.    Journal – this is one of my most trusted activities when I am triggered or have something on my mind. I let my pen flow and let everything out of my head onto my pad. I can then read it after I have written it and I can quite often see a new meaning in what I was feeling. I am definitely more rational when I write than when I think, and it is always cathartic

4.    Be around people that lift you up. If you are feeling sad you might prefer to be on your own. If you are going to be with people, be with those people who look for the good in everything. Not the people who will find what’s wrong in every situation

5.    Keep taking yourself back into the present when you feel yourself worrying about the future or going back in time. Stop what you are doing, breathe and ask yourself what can I see, smell, touch, taste and hear.

6.    Meditate. This is so easy and transformative if you let yourself go with it. People often say to me that they can’t meditate because they can’t still their minds. Don’t worry about any of that. Just pop a guided meditation on, listen and focus on your breathing. Let your thoughts come and go. The fact that you are focused on your breathing is a good thing and will help you to feel better. Insight timer app has loads of free meditations, so check it out.

7.    Do something you love. Even if only for 15 mins, it will help you.

8.    Watch something funny and let yourself laugh.

I hope there is at least one thing on there that you can try and that will help you feel a little better about things.

Please be kind to yourself, that is the most important thing. We all have stuff going on, even the people you think have got it all together. We are all human, we all feel and sometimes we just need to let ourselves take a bit of time for ourselves, so I hope you will do that for yourself right now by choosing one of the things from the list above.

If you need any support or even just a chat, you know where to find me.