7 Lessons in 7 Years

Today marks the last working day of my financial year and more significantly, the last day of my first 7-year term with ActionCOACH. And I wanted to share 7 lessons I've learned from this time in the hope that they may be helpful in some way for where you might be right now. Here goes:

1. Be Yourself - As the saying goes "You may as well be yourself because everyone else is taken". Upon starting my new role as a business coach I remember being nervous about making my first post on Linked In. What will others think of me? What if someone challenges what I say? What's the right thing to say? Life's too short to worry about that sort of stuff. One of the values I hold dear is 'Be Positive'. I'm not a whiner or a critic. I'm an encourager and an optimist. The only people who'll be offended by anything I say or do are unlikely to be the type of people I want to associate with anyway so my attitude now is "bugger it. Just do it". I've found that to be helpful. 
2. Broken Bones Mend Stronger - I'm not actually sure if this is medically correct but I like the analogy so I'll use it! Our tough times make us stronger and my word have there been some tough times! I remember in the first year looking at my bank balance and having 81p available. I gave up a well-paid career for this new world of business coaching. WTF! I had a ton of limiting beliefs that were holding me back from taking the kind of actions that would help me build my business. "Everyone already knows what I'm trying to teach", "I don't like to sell", "I need to learn more before I put on a seminar", "I don't want to be too hard on clients. They're paying me after all". Even as I type this out I'm thinking "what a muppet". All of this was SO wrong but at the time it felt SO real. The consequence of 'wrong thinking' meant I made a significant 5-figure LOSS in year 1. Happily, since then there's also been 6-figure PROFITS....but only after sorting out my thinking. I've learned that in the tough times it was less about me learning new skillsets that helped me get through them and much more about developing my mindset. 
3. Create Your Environment - I need to feel a part of something that matters so it was critical that I joined a team - like ActionCOACH - that I genuinely believed was doing stuff that made a difference. Working with real people on real, everyday things that helps them build better businesses. And having connected in this way I've found it enormously helpful to be surrounded with my coaching colleagues who inspire me, challenge me, support me and laugh with me each and every day. In the last 7 years I've created friends for life. I've made investments with joint-venture partners. I've made life decisions that my previous self wouldn't have even considered....all because of the people I'm now surrounded by. Life's too short to be surrounded by mood-hoovers, doing work you don't care about and being someone you're not. If you're in an environment like this get out of it and put yourself into an environment that lifts you up!
4. Care Builds Business - I've learned that business is about relationships. One by one. Person by person. Relationships matter. This isn't news to me. I've always been a relationship guy but in running my own business I've really come to appreciate that financial success follows relationships. Perhaps this is a lesson learned through the privileged position I have as a coach. Afterall there aren't too many professions where people pour their hearts out to you. When you hear peoples' hopes and dreams, their fears and vulnerabilities you can't help but feel a connection that runs much deeper than the monthly fee you receive each month. Life can be hard enough with what's thrown at us by others and what we throw at ourselves through our own patterns of thinking. To be there for someone. To genuinely care is something people value. And from that position of care, as a coach I become much more able to provide support in the form of an arm round the shoulder when it's needed as well as a kick up the arse to challenge when appropriate too. 
5. Above & Below The Line - I've come to realise that there is a major opportunity for anyone who consciously chooses their attitude to life. I was introduced to the philosophy of above & below the line when I started with ActionCOACH. This is perhaps going to sound harsh but it seems to me that the vast majority of people - perhaps unconsciously - are living their life from a position of BLAME, EXCUSES and DENIAL (also known as the 'victim mentality'). I'm not saying that we don't have off days but I certainly wouldn't encourage people staying 'below the line' for very long. Every coaching session that didn't quite hit the mark, every pound of income I've earned, every opportunity I've missed, every point I haven't landed well is ultimately MY RESPONSIBILITY. I hold myself ACCOUNTABLE for the results I've achieved - good or bad - and at the end of the day, the only person I have to answer to is myself and the key question is "Am I taking OWNERSHIP for my life?". Yes people will support me but ultimately I can't rely on others making me successful or happy or financially secure. I need to own my performance. If there's one life lesson I want my kids to embrace it's to live 'above the line'. Coach John Wooden says it best "Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out". 
6. Invest in Yourself - I'd never heard of a chap called Jim Rohn before joining ActionCOACH but I now reference him probably every day in some way. He said "Don't wish life were easier. Wish you were better". Afterall, life is unlikely to get simpler but by becoming a more capable person it's possible for us to get better at life! I've not kept a track of the amount of my own money I've invested over the last 7 years in books, training courses, coaching, conferences or the amount of hours dedicated either but I can say with a high degree of confidence it'll be tens of thousands of pounds and thousands of hours. I'm a completely different man today than I was 7 years ago. I've got different skills, I think in different ways. I've got different dreams, I see myself differently. There was nothing wrong with the man I was (although my wife might tell you differently!!) but I knew I wasn't the man I wanted to be (or indeed aspired to be). Education. Exposing myself to different topics - psychology, communication, finance, investment, leadership, management. Listening to other people in different sectors had helped me to become twice the man I was back then....and here's the interesting thing...I'm only half the man now that I'll be in another 7 years. That's my genuine belief and I think this way because I know there's so much more I'll continue to learn because I'll continue to invest in myself. And at the end of the day who benefits from this? Hopefully many people - me, my clients, my friends and most importantly my family, especially those two little creatures I call Finlay & Freya. As teenagers right now they probably think I'm just an embarrassing dad but hopefully they'll look back and say "actually, Dad wasn't so much of a knob afterall". THAT would be success!
7. Nurture Your Network - I've avoided calling this point "Your network is your net worth" because, at a glance, it might have looked too cliched but the reality is it's absolutely correct! I've learned that in business it's important to surround yourself with people who have skills you don't have. I need to have trusted partners who I can turn to for advice or to help me better guide my clients. I'm not an accountant. I'm not an HR expert. I'm not a branding specialist. I'm not a psychotherapist. I'm not an IT architect. I'm not a wealth manager. All of these disciplines (and many more) are the types of people you need around you in business because it's simply too complex to try to figure out all by yourself. When I first started out as a business coach I thought I needed to be strong in all these areas. Wrong thinking! Leverage other people's experience! On a different angle, at one point, as I started my ActionCOACH career, I considered deleting all of my connections from my previous corporate life from Linked In. Why? Insecurities I had about my new identity made me want to start a new life that others who "knew me" wouldn't be able to see what I was doing. I was scared of what they'd think of me. "Who does he think he is?" was a what I thought others might think. I saw sense and thankfully didn't delete all these connections and the truth is I've had nothing but encouragement from my network and very pleasingly I'm coaching 3 former colleagues who now own their own thriving businesses. I'd likely not have had this pleasure had I limited my network. 

So there you go. 7 lessons from the last 7 years. If even one small thing that I've shared has been helpful to you then this post has been worth me writing it. I wish you every success and I hope we meet one day and that you share with me the lessons you've learned in your journey. Good luck!