Honoured to have recieved a Full Blue award in recognition of sporting achievement representing Melbourne Uni.
This is a nice picture of me - this is what a genuine, joyful smile looks like. But you'll notice the award isn't in it, like it normally would be in a post about recieving an award.
Right after this photo was taken, I found out that my award was being presented to the wrong name.
A name I have fought repeatedly to not be known by in every sphere of my life, with "tradition" cited as the reason to publicly strip me of my dignity.
Sporting environments aren't welcoming or accomodating of queerness, especially transness at the best of times. For my own peace, the only thing I ask in this sphere of my life, is that my correct name be used. There are several correct options, there is one wrong option - the bar is on the floor... And yet I am repeatedly disappointed with how skilled some organisations and individuals seem to be at limbo.
The message this sends, is that a compromised, fictionalised version of me, is the only version of me worth celebrating.
This is not on the presenter at all - I spoke to him and he coordinated what was in his power to make the presentation as respectful as possible. He was the only reason I didn't just leave entirely. Thank you, Tony.
This photo is how I'd like to remember the experience, not the anxious mess hidden behind an unconvincing smile I was for the rest of the night. This should have been a positive experience for me, not yet another reminder of how I live in the shadow of a person who literally doesn't exist, that some people will always insist on seeing before the genuine me.
It might seem like a small thing, and it is, when it's once. This isn't a once off. It chronically wears at you, when others refer to you inaccurately and you're spending every day of your life fighting to be seen within that shadow. I'm used to it, but when it's public, when it catches me off guard... Yeah, it gets to me. Believe me, it would bother you too.
If your "tradition" discriminates, excludes or otherwise causes harm, you'll find there's a few words that are probably more appropriate than "tradition"...
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2moWow! What a great pic!