Mark Linsey’s Post

What do sports, TV shows, and movies have in common? One word: Drama. At the end of the day, drama is what drives so much of our entertainment. We humans crave drama. We can’t look away. We often engage and find ourselves sucked into its vortex. The drama is especially seductive when it involves a hero, villain, and victim (this concept comes from Stephen Karpman, M.D. who created something called the Drama Triangle). When those three parties are at play, we take on roles that make us do things we normally wouldn’t. In response, we either rise to the occasion, fall into a trap of helplessness, or turn into a version of ourselves we don’t particularly like. The key isn’t to avoid drama at all costs; the key is to know when we are in its midst and have the self-awareness to label the role we are playing and how it’s contributing to the perpetuation of said drama. While drama may be entertaining, perpetuated drama is highly exhausting. It drains us. In that sense, drama gets in the way of peace. Here is a simple process for how to better handle drama: Step 1: Notice if you are in drama. Step 2: Identify the role you are playing. Step 3: Shift your role. ·     Shift from hero to coach ·     Shift from villain to challenger ·     Shift from victim to creator The coach, challenger, and creator concept (created by David Emerald) is a powerful antidote to the drama in our lives. So, let’s leave the drama to the entertainment world that we love to watch as bystanders. Instead, let’s create an empowering world for ourselves and those we care about going forward. While the great R&B star Mary J. Blige sang, “No more drama,” perhaps the key is to simply notice, identify, and shift. That way we have the drama, and the drama doesn’t have us.

What is something we hate in real life but can’t do without in stories? Drama. Well, we say we hate drama. But what we really mean is we hate conflict directly coming at us. In storytelling, drama is the lifeblood. Without it, there is no emotion and no entertainment. Drama doesn’t exist when there is no conflict. Another thing storytellers can’t do without. When I wrote TV shows, my initial instinct was to create conflict but then to solve it nicely. But when we did that, our ratings struggled. Soon we learned that we couldn't write a successful show using healthy characters. We needed narcissists and stupidity in our stories. Heaps of weaknesses, misunderstandings, lies, and unreasonable behaviors. Stories mirror real life but amplify the drama. Sometimes, real-life drama gives us a peculiar satisfaction. The revenge, the curiosity, the adrenaline… When you feel that “juice,” you’re stepping into the realm of tales. Which can be fun but also unhealthy. In storytelling, drama isn’t the enemy; it’s the heartbeat. And it might help understand real-life conflicts and navigate them better. I always say stories are like vaccinations. They prepare us for the adversity in real life. Netflix isn’t always a waste of time!

Just now I’m getting my head in gear to write my Drama for Change book. Here’s me thinking aloud about what going to go in it. You can’t tell someone what to think or how to behave. Generally speaking, it doesn’t work. Compliance training can only take you so far. Behavioural initiatives go the extra mile. Biologically, we are scared of change, because change in the physical environment usually dangerous. This also affects how we react to a someone trying to change how we think. This explains why, when you give someone a new fact, especially one that implies they’d be better off if they did something differently, it often comes over as a big red banner shouting, “You’re making a mistake. You’re wrong!” And people feel attacked. So, rather than telling people what to do and how to behave, we get better results when we ask people about an issue rather than telling them.  One powerful way to engage people in this manner is to distil the issue into video drama. The drama frames the issue as a series of tough choices. Drama is, anyway, about characters making decisions, so it lends itself to getting people thinking about decision-making. By ensuring people watch the drama in a context in which they are able to share these suggestions and reflections on the behaviour of the characters, conversation is triggered. Evolutionary psychology understands gossip to be one of evolved behaviours that allowed humans to live in larger groups than other primates and therefore become dominant. As such, we are wired to find gossip pleasurable. By engineering a situation in which the gossip machine is let loose on the analysis of some video drama you tap into an evolved moral engine that is designed to create meaning. The video works like a virus hacking into it. This mechanism has been used hundreds if not thousands of times all over the world and the results measured. Famously, the telenovela was developed as a tool of social engineering called Entertainment-Education by Miguel Sabido in the 1970’s when it was used to spread government messages about adult education and family planning. And his methods, methodically taught to producers around the world, went on to affect the lives of billions. In a more modern mode, the use of dramatic films shared across social media, like the Mayor of London’s “Call it Out” campaign, have also proven successful.  Perhaps best known in the UK is the ITV drama Mr Bates vs The Post Office. This show took the hitherto slow burning issue of former Postmasters’ fight with The Post Office over compensation and brought it to public attention – forcing the hand of the state to expedite the claims because of the public outcry. Drama for Change uses the same methods as the examples I’ve cited, but adapts them for use in an organisational setting. What areas of detail are of interest to you? Should I probe more deeply into the science? Should I look more at the shortcomings of information-led initiatives? #culturechange

7 Reasons We Love Drama Drama gives us an exaggerated sense of importance. In a world where it’s easy to feel overlooked and devalued drama provides a sense of value. Drama gives us a feeling of power and authority. We become the center of attention. Insecurities are loud and dramatic. Drama counters feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. It’s a great way to make us look good and feel special, but it also gives us a false sense of value. We like being right. Self-righteousness is a potent feeling for the ego. We like to be right, and making others wrong reinforces our feelings of self-righteousness. Drama is a distraction. Creating drama allows us to avoid facing our issues, challenges and problems. We get to be a hero or villain and sidestep our shortcomings. Rescuing and persecuting others keeps the focus off us. Revenge – to get back at others. Drama is a good way to get back at someone. Misery loves company. Drama makes people feel alive. Drama makes us feel alive, especially when we are bored, discontented, or unfulfilled. It gives us an adrenaline rush. We find drama entertaining. We love watching reality shows and soap operas. Drama gives us control. Drama creates chaos for others, leaving them confused, uncertain, and out of control. We may also be addicted to anger to gain a sense of power. Drama is the result of low self-valuation and a problem-focused orientation. As long as we focus on problems, including seeing ourselves as problems, drama will continue to exist. It’s an inevitable byproduct of low self-worth and a focus on what’s wrong. WARNING! If you recognize yourself in the drama triangle, do not judge yourself! This is human nature, and we all get lost in it. Contact us, and we’ll show you how to get out and stay out of drama.

What’s Your Team’s Story? Are you living in a three-act play? Drama! Drama! Drama! Or, are you on a Hero’s Journey? Where everyone is committed to showing up for one another. Unafraid of change. Willing to step out of their comfort zone? Most of us, in life, are living in a three-act play. There’s the set-up, confrontation, and resolution. Except there’s never really any resolution. Something happens. We tell our side of the story, as the victim. We don't realize that being the victim puts the drama on a loop so our story has no where to go...or grow. Take for example, Betty and Jane: One day, Jane is coming out of the building, boxes stacked precariously in her arms. Betty gets to the door at the same time as Jane. Instead of stepping aside so Jane can pass, Betty pushes her way through the door. In the process, Jane accidentally steps on Betty’s foot. Betty is outraged. All day, Betty tells anyone who will listen how Jane stepped on her foot. Conveniently leaving out her part of the story. Jane is equally outraged. She also tells everyone who will listen her side of the story, except she adds in that Betty did it because she doesn't like her. This goes on for weeks because neither one of them is willing to talk to each other about what happened and how it made them feel. People on the team are tired of hearing the stories. They don't want to "rock the boat" so they put up with the drama. The leader doesn't know what happened but senses there is tension between Betty and Jane - and possibly the rest of the team. Except he's uncomfortable dealing with conflict, so he chooses not to address it. Can this team continue to work together now that the proverbial well has been poisoned? Not until they can address their issues and speak their truth. One needs to acknowledge their behavior. The other needs to express how it made her feel. The team needs to express how the drama made them all feel. And the leader needs to learn how to get comfortable being uncomfortable for the safety and sake of the team. This is where StorySync comes in. By creating a safe space and using creative tools to focus on the "I" in team, Betty, Jane, and the team recognize what they could have done differently. And have the courage to take action. StorySync helps individuals explore and express their unique voices, connecting personal insights to team dynamics, and fostering a deeper understanding of how every "I" strengthens the "we." Type “SYNCME” in the Comments below for a FREE 30-minute consultation to discuss how StorySync can make lasting impact on your team!

THE DRAMA TRIANGLE Let's slice through the everyday soap opera that is the Drama Triangle—a psychological game you don't even know you're a part of. It’s the chessboard of dysfunctional relationships with three key players: the victim, the persecutor, and the rescuer. Each locked in a dance of dysfunction, each feeding off and into a cycle that's as old as human interaction itself. The victim, draped in a cloak of suffering and complaint, thrives on the currency of pity, fear, and shame. They're the center of their own tragedy, drawing in the energies of those around them to fuel their narrative. Then you’ve got the persecutor, the antagonist in this plot, pointing fingers with a fiery blend of anger and irritation. They're the ones spinning the drama, setting the stage for their next emotional showdown. And who swoops in but the rescuer? This character plays the hero, the protector. But here's the kicker: their brand of salvation is laced with their own need—a need to be needed, often intensifying the victim's helplessness rather than empowering them. Why do these roles stick? It's simple. They're addictive. Each role feeds into a need, an identity, and let’s face it, an excuse. They switch masks, but the play remains the same. Imagine this scene: your colleague misses a deadline, and now you're all staying late. They play the victim, "I'm overwhelmed," they sigh. You jump into rescuer mode, "I'll help you out." Meanwhile, your boss plays the persecutor, "This is unacceptable." It’s a merry-go-round of blame, excuses, and short-term fixes. The takeaway? This triangle doesn't solve problems; it just keeps the actors busy, trapped in their roles, losing touch with the plot. The real move? Step out of the play. Be the author, not a character. Write new scripts, new roles, new endings. And maybe, just maybe, you'll turn that Drama Triangle into a launchpad for growth. Because when you stop auditioning for these parts, you start living a life that's worth, not just a watch, but a standing ovation. #relationshipgoals #couplegrowth #loveandcommunication #healthyrelationships #trustandrespect #partnership #emotionalintelligence #bonding #commitment #relationshipadvice #couplestherapy #lovebalance #relationshipbuilding #hearttoheart #togetherness #relationshipstruggles #lastinglove #connection #mutualsupport #relationshipmatters #romanceandgrowth #relationshipwisdom #togetherstrong #relationshipharmony

How to manage your anxiety before speaking… When I was leaving drama school I did what is called a ‘Showcase’. I did it at The Royal Court theatre in London. One of the most famous theatres in the world. Now this showcase was where all the biggest agents directors producers & casting directors came to watch the freshest new talent emerging rolled out one by one like cattle at an auction. I had 2 mins to impress. 2 mins to shine out of 34 2 mins to shape my future 2 mins to not mess it up And to be honest - I was bricking it I felt confident but the stakes were high I was anxious I was anxious because I cared I was because I’d worked hard I was anxious for the outcome I was anxious BUT I wasn’t going to let it control me I rephrased “I feel anxious” To “A part of me feels anxious” The emotional part of our brain overrides the rational part of our brain We can’t stop our emotions (nor should we try) They’re indicators for us However they will control us if we let them But we CAN manage the SIZE of our emotions Re-evaluating the size of our emotions means we can still perform at a top level Without being overcome by our emotions and crumbling under pressure The result I had: 1. 12 top agents wanting to sign me 2. I walked into my first job 3. Made contacts with casting directors who always had my back Your anxiety isn’t all of you it’s just a little part Don’t just think about managing it Talk to yourself to manage it Manage that and you’ll perform at a very high level I promise ~~ 🔔 ‘Follow Me for more Public Speaking Content’ ♻️ ‘Repost to your community if you found this helpful’ Image: Daniel Kingsley

Drama: A World of Stories and Emotions Drama is a literary genre that presents a story through dialogue and action, typically intended for performance. It involves a complex interplay of characters, plot, theme, and setting, designed to evoke emotional responses in the audience. Key Elements of Drama: * Plot: The sequence of events that make up the story. * Character: The individuals who drive the plot. * Theme: The underlying message or idea conveyed by the play. * Setting: The time and place of the action. * Dialogue: The words spoken by the characters. * Stage Directions: Instructions for the actors and stage crew. Types of Drama: * Tragedy: A serious play that often ends in catastrophe or death, exploring themes of human suffering and the complexities of fate. * Comedy: A lighthearted play that aims to amuse the audience, often through humor, satire, or witty dialogue. * Tragicomedy: A play that blends elements of tragedy and comedy, exploring both serious and humorous themes. * Farce: A type of comedy that relies on absurd situations, slapstick humor, and physical comedy. * Melodrama: A dramatic work that exaggerates emotion and emphasizes plot and action over character development. The Power of Drama: Drama has the power to: * Evoke Emotions: From laughter to tears, drama can elicit a wide range of emotional responses. * Promote Empathy: By exploring different perspectives and experiences, drama can help us understand and empathize with others. * Challenge Social Norms: Drama can challenge societal norms and provoke thought-provoking discussions. * Provide Entertainment: Drama can be a source of entertainment and escapism. Whether it's a Shakespearean tragedy or a modern-day sitcom, drama continues to captivate audiences around the world. It is a powerful medium that can inspire, educate, and entertain. Would you like to delve deeper into a specific type of drama, or perhaps discuss a famous playwright or production?

Being on a film/TV set is a strange experience. Illusions are built around you every second. Yet they feel more believable than you, yourself. The air smells like an acrid amalgamation of blood, sweat and tears and something about this, makes you want to buy into the lie. Time ceases to exist like it does in real life. Weekdays flow into weekends and work hours into personal life, like Russian dolls stacked one inside the other. Strangers and their vulnerabilities lay bare in front of you, under the glaring set lights. That actress who picks at her lips since someone jokingly commented on them. Her laughter in response to that joke was the best bit of acting you’ve witnessed in a while. The director who quietly smokes cigarettes in a corner, his calm facade breaking only in these few seconds, barely masked by the smoke in the air. When he shuts the cigarette box, he clasps it extra hard, as if putting a lid on the doubts that hang from his back, like an unpleasant ghost. The cameraman who crosses his fingers before going for a difficult shot, his faith far higher in his superstitions than in his own evident talent. After all something about this industry convinces you that your talent alone couldn’t have gotten you here. That extra who takes in everything with so much longing, for what he might have someday. His desire to be noticed is so high, you want to take his hand and tell him it’s all a lie. But you wonder if you would convince him, when you couldn’t convince yourself. Between action and cut, the real world ceases to exist. Yet what could be more real than this. You become a part of a unit’s collective fantasy and it seems voyeuristic to look at it in 4K, and yet you can’t stop. So you fiddle with the small piece of fabric that ripped out of the AD’s trousers and clings to your chair, as they run off to put out another fire. Though the fire in their belly, was doused long ago. On a set everybody is important and nobody is important, simultaneously.Press yourself quietly into a corner and you will witness a thousand breakdowns, resentments, complains. There are no social cues that matter in that heightened state of emotion. You simply avert your gaze, in solidarity. Everyone’s stomachs growl in a choreographed rhythm, the pit in your stomach growing bigger and bigger but it has nothing to do with food. The most anticipated moment of a shoot might be the euphoric sound of the director announcing wrap, but the defeat that washes over everyone is unmistakable. It’s a task to return to the mundanities of real life…”I have to buy milk for my house”, “I never called my mom back”, “Fuck these cab prices are insane”…Not when you were a part of creating art, moments ago. You are taken over the sudden urge to steal that clapboard, use it to make some sense of the chaos in your life. But you leave the set, a part of you evaporated into the smoky, haze filled air. The acrid smell you smelt on the first day makes sense to you now.