Coaching High Net Worth Professionals to Make Tough Personal Decisions with Confidence & to Divorce w/Less Conflict & Unnecessary Expense | Best Friend to Overworked Divorce Attorneys| Legal Futurist & AI Enthusiast
Why do so many people have such big issues with their divorce lawyers? It may be because they have a bad lawyer - one who isn't skilled, responsive, or doing his/her job properly. That happens in every profession. But the number of clients who aren't happy with their divorce lawyers far exceeds the number of business, estate planning, personal injury, or corporate clients who aren't happy with their lawyers. Why is that? Is it that all the bad lawyers decide to practice divorce law? I don't think so. I've practiced law in all kinds of different areas over the course of my career and that's not what I've seen. Sure, there are bad divorce lawyers. But there are also a lot of good ones too. There are divorce lawyers who know the law, work really hard, and care deeply about their clients. Why do so many people have so many problems with their divorce lawyers then? A lot of it has to do with the sheer emotionality of divorce. It's hard to get excited about a divorce professional when you're entire world is crumbling around you. But the answer is far more nuanced than that. The truth is a BIG part of the disconnect between divorce lawyers and their clients can be summed up in one word: EXPECTATIONS. People expect divorce lawyers to be their saviors ... but they also want to be able to disregard the lawyer's advice and still be okay. They want their lawyer to fight for them ... but also not stir the pot. They want the lawyer to work hard for them ... as long as it doesn't cost them a fortune. In short, people's expectations of what their divorce lawyer will do are often vastly different than what their divorce lawyer will actually do. Having unrealistic expectations will dramatically increase your frustration level in divorce. That's why it's so important to get your expectations in line before you even start the divorce process. Here are some things that even the best divorce lawyer WON'T do. To discover even more, check out this blog post. https://lnkd.in/g-RBhqqQ #divorcelawyer #divorcecoach
Renèe Hughes
1mo
Karen Covy, this makes so much sense. When I first started reading the post I instantly thought the problem is probably that Divorce itself is such an incredibly difficult and emotional thing to endure. It makes me think of doctors and hospitals, the worst moments of our lives tend to happen in a hospital so we all cringe at them and yet we need them. Its a complicated thing. The work that you do is so helpful to make the whole process "doable" for your clients.
Sonnal Ladvvaa
1mo
This is a really insightful post. You've hit the nail on the head with the issue of expectations. It's easy to get caught up in the emotional turmoil & place unrealistic demands on attorneys. By understanding the limitations of what a lawyer can and cannot do, one can set right expectations Karen Covy, Divorce Coach, Recovering Lawyer Insightful post
Bill Farias
1mo
You hit the nail on the head—expectations play a huge role in how clients perceive their experience with a divorce lawyer. Divorce is intensely emotional, and understanding what your lawyer can (and can't) do can help ease the process.
AmondaRose Igoe🌟
1mo
Karen Covy, Divorce Coach, Recovering Lawyer I could see why this is true: the number of clients who aren't happy with their divorce lawyers far exceeds the number of business, estate planning, personal injury, or corporate clients who aren't happy with their lawyers. When emotions get involved, everything changes.
Ok, Karen Covy, Divorce Coach, Recovering Lawyer, I love this. Thank you for summing up this conundrum so succinctly. Managing expectations in the process is key. It starts with us and we are in the role to guide, but there is only so much we can do. Clients have responsibility as well.
Jordan Magnan
1mo
Clients need to align their expectations with the realities of the divorce process. Open communication can help bridge the gap and foster a more positive experience with their lawyer.
Ryan Brown
1mo
You hit on a key issue—expectations can shape the divorce experience. Setting realistic goals from the start can ease frustration and lead to a more productive attorney-client relationship.
I think if anyone is expecting a stranger to be their saviour they've really got unrealistic expectations. It's an emotional time, but don't put that on someone else.
Misaligned expectations are at the heart of many frustrations with divorce lawyers—it’s a tough process that demands clarity on both sides.
Transforming high achieving divorced women from anxious & overwhelmed to living the life they truly desire 💠 Certified EFT Tapping & Energy Makeover Coach
1moThis line had me chuckling: "Oh, and if your lawyer could make your spouse fall apart on the witness stand and admit to what a total jerk s/he has been to you for years, that would be great too!" 😂 You're absolutely right about expectations. If you want to be disappointed, set unrealistic expectations! Easier said than done of course, when expectations are set based off of lawyers seen on TV and in movies... The way I see it, the best way to ensure your expectations are appropriate to your reality - aside from seeking guidance from divorce professionals like Karen Covy, is to work on managing your emotions from the beginning. Physiologically speaking, when we are in a stressed stated and hijacked by emotions, we don't have full access to the part of the brain responsible for reasoning and critical thinking. Meaning, you don't have the capacity to think as clearly as you might want or need to. For this reason alone, getting help with emotional regulation can not only set you up to safely ride the emotional roller coaster of divorce, but also to feel calm and confident in the decisions that you are making. Including the expectations that you're setting for yourself and others.