Jaime A. Heidel’s Post

Thought for the day - Autistic feelings 1 Alexithymia Have you ever been asked how you feel and been able to say? Have you ever asked someone and they can't say? Alexithymia is when you can't identify easily what you are feeling emotionally, or can't express it.😂😱😕. Autistic people can suffer from alexithymia more than others. This can be frustrating for them and others. So what can be done? Just be patient and understanding, ask more questions and give time. Drawing or writing feelings can help. #autism #alexithymia #emotionalregulation

A fun thought about #autism is due to literal communication. When a neurotypical says "they've given 110%" this is figurative language. It's not the same statement compared to an #autistic individual. This is a statement of perceived effort and social compatibility. It's contextual to the expended effort and energy for a task. An autistic person says this as a literal statement, meaning we work till burnout and exhaustion. We take the statement as literal, and it's a completely different context. It's about giving everything. We work till physical, emotional and mental exhaustion. Hence, we give more than what we possibly have. #ActuallyAutistic #Neurodivergent #Neurodiversity

Few things shock me anymore, but this did... What is the one thing that seems to trend when looking at autism and relationships? I was writing a chapter over the weekend and found this popping up in searches more than actual credible information or accounts by autistic people. And, here is the problem: pseudo-science like this further pathologises many like myself. Many do not understand one trending topic is, Cassandra Affective Deprivation Disorder or CADD. This is a pseudo condition that places all the blame on a relationship to undiagnosed neurodivergence, specifically autism—nothing under the DSM-5 or via credible #psychology services that promote this, to be precise. The 'diagnostic criteria' villainises autism, and places blame on failing relationships to a reductionist view. Not to mention, it peddles tropes on autism that are out-of-date and highly gender-specific. Few are aware of the quantity of information and forums on this topic. And precisely how these are promoted via some forums. Yes, it's highly discriminatory. It's shocking to see how this idea is being shared online and how, again, autistic people become the totem of blame. It takes two to make a relationship work, but it's unfair to pin failures on autism. And, yes, I've devoted a chapter to this. But I'd love some other insights from the community. Surely, I'm not the only one shocked by this. ♻ If this resonates, please like, comment and share. #ActuallyAutistic #Autism #Autistic #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #Relationships #Love #Dating #LoveOnTheSpectrum

I often receive emails about Jo Abi and me. Questions range from how we met to how I can get a partner to how someone with autism can be in a relationship (yes, really). But the most common theme is as follows... Can an #autistic individual be a great partner? Considering the amount of misinformation floating around about autism and relationships. I felt that I needed to post this one. I don't block people. I'd prefer to counsel instead of cancel. These can be teaching experiences for many who don't know and are appealing to the familiar tropes. Here are three subtle reasons: 1- We’re loyal to a fault. We’re there for the right people. 2 - We’re givers. For the right people we share our passions to be there.. You’ll love our quirks. 3 - We do interesting and different things. Have I missed anything?! Let me know! ♻ If this resonates, please like, comment and share. #ActuallyAutistic #Autism #LoveOneTheSpectrum #Relationships #Psychology #Love

There are many assumptions and misunderstandings when it comes to neurodiversity. It’s important to recognize that neurodiversity is not an illness; it’s a natural variation in how people think and experience the world. Challenges arise when individuals aren’t seen for who they truly are, and when these differences are mistaken for flaws or deficits. The real difficulty emerges not from their neurodiversity itself, but from being expected to fit into a narrow social ‘norm’ that doesn’t accommodate their unique perspectives and abilities.

We need to be more willing to question the structure of the organizations that we put kids into instead of automatically assuming it is the child that has something wrong with them. My vodcast Agentic Schools is mainly about schools that have an inherently flexible structure that changes according to the needs of the people in it.

What a fantastic illustration of the triggers causing meltdowns and the effects. Most people only see the effects of meltdowns and are unaware of the triggers. If they knew the individual's triggers for a meltdown, they could avoid them and prevent the distress and pain that a meltdown for the autistic Most people only see the effects of meltdowns and are unaware of the triggers. If they knew the individual's triggers for a meltdown, they could avoid them and prevent the distress and pain of a meltdown can cause for the autistic person.

#autism tends to become a part of the conversation each April. People talk about #autismawareness and #autismacceptance. Instead, can we please talk about allowing autistic people to #unmask themselves? Masking is when we consciously or unconsciously try to stop being our #authentic selves by behaving in a way that allistic people are more comfortable with. It can be simple things like: Forcing eye contact when that is very difficult Tolerating high levels of noise when it is very painful/overwhelming Trying to exist in social situations that are very distressing Not fidgeting or stimming when stressed, even though it would help Or even just trying to understand what is expected of us when that is not communicated. Please keep your #puzzle pieces away from me this April. We aren't missing any pieces. Let's not talk about autism as a tragedy but how we could be doing a better job of letting autistic people be themselves. #neurodiversityatwork #neurodivergent

Why Does My Autistic Loved One Ignore Me? Imagine you're finally home after a tough day. You have a nice cup of tea in hand and have gone out to the porch to watch the sunset. There's a light breeze, the crickets are just beginning to chirp, and you can feel your tense muscles relax one by one as you sink into your favorite deck chair and enjoy the peace of nature. Suddenly, an intruder jumps out from behind the bush to your right and starts screaming in your face. He's barking orders at you, telling you to do something right now, or he will beat you within an inch of your life! As you stare at him in abject horror, your heart pounding, your teacup falling from your shaking hands, you try to understand what he's saying, but his words just sound like garbled nonsense. Understandably, it takes your brain time to register the intrusion and try to make sense out of his commands while also plotting your fight or escape in the background of your frazzled mind. The problem is, the more you hesitate to respond to him, the more visibly angry he becomes, and your terror only grows, causing you to struggle even more to think clearly. Scary situation, right? This is what it's like for your autistic loved one when you yell at them to get their attention because you thought they were ignoring you. (Click on the link below to continue reading.) https://buff.ly/444L5J0 #Autism #Autistic #ActuallyAutistic #Neurodivergent #Neurodiversity #AutismMom #AutismDad #AutismParent