I’ve always had an uneasy relationship with alcohol 🥴 For me binge drinking has been a problem for decades. Not content with 1 or 2 drinks. It’s always led to more and more At a certain stage of the night I’d start buying random strangers drinks! 🤷🏻♂️ During my party years I’d be out till 4,5,6am and generally not in control of my actions. Often I’d be spiteful, bitchy, gossip or tell people what I really thought of them (not always a bad thing!) I’ve learnt that who I want to be is kind, generous, thoughtful and integrious. Giving and charitable. The type of person who doesn’t talk badly of others or gossip or entertains this from friends. For me, becoming this person necessitates an end to alcohol abuse. I’ve always been trying to escape from something - usually mental fog or just feeling down or unable to socialise. At times the pressures of running a successful business. 😵🔫 Drink free now since the 30th October. They say it gets easier and the feelings get better but I can’t see it yet! Has anyone else decided alcohol isn’t for them? I admire anyone with the courage to shrug this addiction 💯
Well done Ian. For me it was cigarettes which was a serious addiction, cured by going cold turkey almost forty years ago. For about 18 months I suffered cravings and for years felt that I was a reformed smoker, but now think of myself as a non smoker. It took time, but was worth it, just one day after the next, keep plugging away and one day you will think of yourself not as ‘sober’ but simply a non-drinker.
I watched someone die over 30 years, their soul warped, apologies run out, body falling apart from the inside on a hospital bed. He never knew how many people wanted to see the man still trapped inside. It all started with lack of childhood attained coping skills, work stress and monthly binge drinking. If he’s watching from the other side he’d be so pleased I didn’t scroll past this post. The first three months are the hardest and the following year it is essential to remain supported via counselling and other therapies. Serious interventions usually last three months and people are thrown back into the world and relapse as the cause hasn’t been resolved. Good luck to everyone 🥰
Very humane post - The work-environment in London made me more inclined to drink mid-week, then socially on the weekends and before I knew it I was drinking 5 days a week and it was normalized, until I got told I had liver scarring and an array of new metabolic issues in my early 30s and that blew my mind as I didn't even think i drank THAT much at all. But I realized how powerful alcohol is. I stopped cold turkey. My experience: The first 90 days are incredibly challenging - but push through that and get to your first six months and you'll feel invincible. My first stretch was 13 months. I did go back and drink but I feel that first year off broke the chains alcohol had on me. Have I since had a few hangovers - yes perhaps 3 or 4 a year? But they were almost conscious choices to really let go for a night or a special event. Last year I did about 6 months alcohol free and now I cycle through 12 weeks of no booze and then let myself enjoy a few weekends before deciding i'll jump back on a health kick - balance works different for us all - but you've taken the first step which is trying to remove the shackles and instead own it. Wishing you persistence :)
My therapist told me once in early recovery when I asked him how long before I know this is really working - he looked me straight in the face deadpan and replied “the first twenty years are the hardest, after that it’s a piece of p*ss” - I could have cried, but turns out Mr Smallwood was spot on - to this day I have so much respect for Dr Brener and Mr Smallwood - I still have my battles with it and that’s likely to be me for the rest of my life, but my life is immeasurably better since 2010. I wish you well on your journey Ian ❤️
Hi it takes time for the obsession to drink goes away . My advice would be to 1 day at a time Connect with people Get to a meeting if you feel up to it and surround yourself with like minded people . I’m nearly 2 years and I was a nasty addict always wanting to fit in trying to fill a void inside . Well done to you for realising alcohol is poison and not a solution . 🙏❤️💪
I wish I could help, but I just get yo a point where I've got a good vibe and I then just stop. I have had my times where I've gone overboard, usually I don't get horrible, just mellow, but if I have brandy, I become aggressive and want to fight, so I just keep clear of it. My brother, his best friend, my best friend and his brother in law found out the hard way. My brothers best friend disregarded my statement, I'll drink as much as you put in front of me, but only what I say, he baught ne a triple brandy and coke, next place we went to, I was told by tge bouncers it was closed, but I wasn't taking no for an answer, it took my brother and the other 3, 30 min to get me out and into car. My brother crapped all over his mate, who apologised the next day. I don't remember it at all.
I literally wasn‘t able to drink, my bodily reaction to 1 or 2 glasses was already too rough, which made me aware of the fact that alcohol is a hard neurotoxin early on. I would suggest to delve into research on that. The destruction is devastating. It‘s also a highly addictive drug. Be kind to yourself. You don’t have to get through your struggle alone, maybe consider to get professional support in this early stage.
KBO, Ian. That old trusted coat that never seems to get thread-bare, yet drapes around you like a blanket, rather than complimenting all else within. If you got where you are with that monkey [jacket] on your back, imagine what is now possible without it. Some suits are just worn heavier than others, so knowing what suits you best with less luggage to carry, so much the better. Leave it in the cloak-room, it sound like it is its time to stop influencing the rest of the wardrobe. I hope that analogy resonates as intended. One day at a time... measure that up however it makes most sense in your way. Suits you, Sir! KBO
Never been a drinker and I can’t actually tell you why. In my youth it was regarded as odd ! Bit hey ho. However I do understand the habit a little I think as mine is food. However what resonated with your post is your desire to be nice. What I would say is that is freeing. After a job that was always full of fight and challenge I moved and decided I was going to be the happy fairy !!! Mad I know but don’t know it’s freeing, it’s less exhausting, it makes you realise the amount of fight and unhappiness around you that simply don’t need to be a part of and enjoy the joy. Keep going is all I can say keep going it will come
Project Manager at The Advance Group
4dI had similar dependence on alcohol. One day it hit me hard. I remember the day, July 8, 2000. It should have been the greatest day of my life. After working the previous night I started drinking at 11 in the morning until 7 pm. After crashing my car on the way home, no one was injured. I came home to an empty house, my wife left me a note telling me I was going to be a father. From that day forward I never touched a drink. It has never been a thought. Changed my life, made me realize how selfish drinking could be. Good luck with your journey. It will open up a new world for you.