Dr. Shannon Wong Lerner, Ph.D.’s Post

Racism, colorism, other isms and phobias that I didn't even know existed: the trouble I find myself in ...and a whole lot of other things that confuse me. There's this young "Black and White" dancing couple on Instagram whose dance moves I always found cool, until I read the comments on their posts. Apparently, since the "White" girl was dancing to "Black" beats, it was Cultural Appropriation! That, was the first time I came face to face with the concept of Cultural Appropriation, and a quick Google Search led me to what exactly it means. I honestly couldn't understand people's anger. All I saw was a cool young couple that invested in some really awesome choreography. A young couple having a good time, and while at it, generating some social media content and income. I didn't find anything offending about that. But well, Cultural Appropriation is a thing. Now this gets really tricky if you are impulsive as myself. If you do and say things, and only get to think about them later. If you are always looking out for the fun bit in everything without critically analyzing it first. If you are the kind that even cracks jokes about your own disability. Then you'll end up in trouble. And I don't understand why. Have we hurt each other so much over time that we are now easily triggered? Do we need to embrace some form of healing? I honestly find myself having to tiptoe through social media while ensuring that my footprint offends not a soul. You know how tough that is? I'm this kind of person who knows a girl that doesn't like "Black" guys for serious relationships. And while I find that her personal preference, I know many it offends. Everything offends us these days. Like I don't even know how to use words anymore. I'm never sure if a word that was once normal has since grown to offensive. I'm never sure when my content is going to get blocked for falling short of community standards. I'm not sure of anything anymore. And I'm not even sure why.

Colorism, the bias against individuals with darker skin tones within the same racial or ethnic group, has deep roots in history and continues to affect Black communities today. It impacts self-esteem, relationships, and even opportunities. Growing up in an environment that values lighter skin can lead to internalized feelings of inferiority for darker-skinned individuals. Constantly receiving messages, both overt and subtle, that lighter skin is more beautiful, more desirable, or more successful can create deep-seated insecurities. Darker-skinned people may experience rejection, teasing, or bullying from both within their own community and outside of it, leading to feelings of shame and self-hate. This can result in individuals feeling unworthy, overlooked, or invisible, especially when it comes to beauty standards, romantic desirability, and professional opportunities. #beautystandards #colorism #blackcommunities #blackexperiences #selfesteem #selfworth #skintones #darkerskinned #lighterskinned #internalizedfeelings #healing #communityconversations

Unveiling the Shadows of Colorism in Beauty Standards Do you reach for fairness creams or talcum powder, perhaps subconsciously hoping for a lighter complexion? Have you ever paused to ponder what drives this inclination? More importantly, do you realize that in doing so, you might unwittingly contribute to the perpetuation of colorism? Colorism, the ugly sibling of racism, thrives in the shadows of our beauty concepts, subtly influencing our choices and perceptions. Yet, have we stopped to question why movies consistently cast lighter-skinned actors and actresses, even for roles meant for darker-skinned characters? What lies behind this hegemony of skin color in our media and society at large? It's time to peel back the layers and confront the uncomfortable truths lurking beneath the surface. Let's delve into the nuances of colorism and its pervasive influence on our collective consciousness.

[picture description included after 3 dots] These names represent only the individuals we know. The violence faced by trans people is vastly underreported, as is the broader context of systemic hate and erasure we endure. Each name in this image marks a life stolen, a future cut short, and a profound reminder of society’s failure to protect its most vulnerable. Beyond these names lie countless others, unrecorded and unacknowledged, their stories lost to apathy and silence. On this Trans Day of Remembrance, we must honor their memories not only with grief but with action. Advocacy, systemic reform, and cultural transformation are necessary to ensure that no more dreams are extinguished by hate. We deserved more time. We deserved recognition. We deserved dreams, not vigils. . . . Header Text: We Deserve Dreams, Not Vigils Names and Ages of Individuals Listed: Pauly Likens, 14 Nex Benedict, 16 River Goddard, 17 Tayy Dior Thomas, 17 Jazlynn Johnson, 18 Dylan Gurley, 20 Boo Alex Taylor Franco, 21 Kenji Spurgeon, 23 Meraxes Medina, 24 Tai’Von Lathan, 24 Redd AKA Barbie, 25 Africa Parcilla Garcia, 25 Michelle Henry, 25 Cocoa Quaneshia Shantel, 29 Kassim Omar, 29 Honee Daniels, 37 Andrea Dora Dos Passos, 37 Diamond Brigman, 36 Sasha Williams, 36 Righteous Terrence Hill, 35 Liara Kaylee Tsai, 35 Kitty Monroe, 43 Yella Clark, 45 Santonio Coleman, 48 Monique Brooks, 49 Reyna Hernandez, 54 Background Description: The image features a soft, pastel-toned background with colors resembling a sunrise or gradient sky. Three lit candles with flame shapes are placed in the foreground. The flames appear to reflect the colors of the trans flag (blue, pink, and white). Text Styling: The header We Deserve Dreams, Not Vigils is written in bold and alternating blue and pink colors, representing the trans pride flag. The names are listed on both the left and right sides of the image, grouped and aligned vertically by age in the same order that was read above. #TransDayOfRemembrance #TransRights #HumanRights #WeDeserveMoreTime #EndTransViolence

Today, I got the question that is likely on the minds of many. "If a young girl is blind, why is a blind Barbie doll important when she can't see it?" I have a few answers, but know my community will add more. ✅ First, many people are not "completely" blind. They may be legally blind or have some residual vision where they can see shapes or image but not make out details. So, they can enjoy the doll with the sight they have. ✅ Many people who are blind or low vision experience the world through touch. These tactile experiences help them understand the dolls features including the white cane. ✅ One of the most important reasons to have a doll is using one's imagination. A doll that resembles you, or how you experience the world can help with imaginative play and that can be a way for connecting with others. #RepresentationMatters #DisabledAndCapable #InclusionMatters

"What does it mean to love yourself when all you’ve been taught is to hate every scar, every pimple, every mark like your body is a botched painting of no value? What does it mean to be yourself when the world is constantly telling you to change your lips, your breasts, your hips like you’re a broken machine that needs to be fixed? What does it mean to take up space when all you know is how to shrink your arms, your waist, your thighs like you’re a candle, burning up to be someone else’s light? What does it mean to smile at the mirror when your perception’s warped by impossible standards that deem you ugly, imperfect, worthless like you’re a thing to be sold in the market, to be used and discarded? Why are we taught to lick knives to feel loved when we can feed ourselves kindness on a silver plate? Why are we taught to run into someone else’s arms when we can hold ourselves on every bad day? We carve strangers’ words onto our skin like tattoos to be flaunted while hiding away everything that we are from within." In Loving Yourself, Aashi Singh denounces social regulations around gender, urging us to do the same. You can read and listen to the entire poem on our website in the October 2024 issue of In Plainspeak themed on Gender and Sexuality. #InPlainspeak #LoveYourself

Say Something, Do Something Imagine if this little black child 🧒🏽asking kindly to let go of their hair was your child. How would you feel? This was my life my first 5-10 years in Spain. Surrounded in the school yard with no escape and kids pulling, squeezing and poking their fingers into my hair. Touching my skin to see if it stained. Now imagine they black child 🧒🏽turning around and doing the same thing to the other children on their perfectly assembled ballet buns. Be objective and tell me, how do you think they will react? The adults around them are pretending like nothing is happening but you can see the discomfort in the young black lady standing beside them and the accommodating smile of the white lady to the right. This is happening today in yours and my children’s schools and we are looking at it with the accommodating face of the white lady to the right. Would we be so comfortable if it was us our children? Do something, say something, teach your children to respect others differences and to not let anyone invade their personal space for no reason. Talk about racism, discrimination and the privilege of getting away with disrespectful behaviour just for being white. Talk about class differences and the fact that some people are born with a “silver spoon” in their mouth, being white, and others are born with a stain that they can not wash away from themselves, being black. It doesn’t matter how bright or brilliant they are, they will always be black. Changes only happen when we address the elephant in the room. Learning about our differences can help us understand each other better and make us see each other better. To my multi talented and multi cultural network I ask you to bring the conversation to your dining tables with your friends and family. You might think I am making a big deal out of this but you have to be there to understand how it feel to be harassed in such way and the consequences in terms of self confidence and mental health that it causes. Live Laugh Love 💕 https://lnkd.in/dchd9a96

We've all seen those YouTube videos titled, "Five Conversation Starters for Never Running Out of Things to Say on the First Date." Admit it, you’ve probably searched them too—I know I have. Starting a conversation, especially with a stranger, can be tough. And when it’s with someone of the opposite sex, it can feel even harder. Ever wonder why some interactions just click while others fall flat? Here's a secret: genuine compliments are the simplest way to break the ice, and they work beyond just dates. But what if we took this same approach when sharing the Gospel? In my latest post, I dive into how to make every interaction more authentic—whether you’re meeting someone new or sharing your faith. Trust me, it’s a read you don’t want to miss! Click the link to read more and share your thoughts👇 https://lnkd.in/e3XDCeZJ

Black autistic girls can often express their emotions in ways that may differ from what’s commonly expected. Our ways of showing joy, distress, or other feelings can be subtle and deeply personal, which might sometimes lead to misunderstandings. It's important to recognize and appreciate these unique expressions. How do you support and understand the emotional expressions of Black girls in your life? Let’s foster a deeper understanding and celebrate the diverse ways emotions are communicated. Share your insights and experiences with us! #BlackAutisticGirls #EmotionalExpression #UnderstandingAutism

The Ultimate Empathy Engine - Pretty Red Dress "Pretty Red Dress," directed by Dionne Edwards, is a poignant exploration of identity, family dynamics, and societal expectations. The film centers around a South London family grappling with issues of gender expression and personal freedom. At its heart is Travis, an ex-convict who discovers a red dress that becomes a symbol of his true self, challenging traditional gender norms and expectations. The film excels in building empathy by intimately portraying Travis's internal struggle and the impact on his family. As viewers, we are invited to experience his vulnerability, hopes, and the painful process of seeking acceptance. Through nuanced performances and relatable characters, it provides insight into the emotional complexities of someone navigating societal judgment and personal identity. Moreover, "Pretty Red Dress" enhances cultural intelligence by shedding light on the intersection of race, gender, and class within a Black British context. It challenges stereotypes and encourages viewers to question their assumptions about masculinity and identity. #TokenManMovies #Masculinity #PersonalIdentity #GenderExpression