I woke up this morning to a reminder that my job is not my husband, my child, or a dear friend who checks in to make sure I'm doing well. I was not hired to be a parent, a superhero, or a miracle worker. Therapy taught me that I needed to be more transactional about work. Nobody asked me to send HR that article about ways to retain women of color. In annual reviews, it wasn’t my responsibility to teach my supervisor how to do real diversity work. When I became more transactional, my life became easier. I moved those professional pearls into spaces I could control to see the fruit I wanted to see. How do you do that? Starting today, recognize your professional worth. Never become so attached to a system that your identity can’t be separated from it. That’s having a healthy boundary and relationship with your job. Realize that you are disposable. If you’re depending on your flowers to come from these workplaces, you’re going to be disappointed. If your colleagues stress you out and can’t even open their mouths to do right by you on a daily basis, why are you expecting more from them after death? If you want more practical and transformational content, learn more about my Accomplice Academy at https://lnkd.in/gxA23Z6b Check out these two #StopPlayingDiversity podcast episodes that might move you to workplace freedom. You are More Than Your Job Description https://lnkd.in/gh8vYMYu It’s Not in My Job Description to Uphold the Patriarchy https://lnkd.in/gg2jQ48J #workplacementalhealth #workplacehealing Post below is from @msqueen_vee on Twitter.
In my former company, NINE staff members died in a span of six years. While there were a couple of company-sanctioned memorials, for the most part, staff was left to deal (or not) with their emotions and find closure on their own. Those jobs were posted and the company moved on with new hires. My own experience was toxic and stressful. I was never valued and when I finally lost my job, there was an additional layer of stress and anxiety. The company is cut and dry. After literally a couple of years of decompressing, I rediscovered myself and have dedicated all of my energy and time to my passions which are my family and my art/writing. This post - ALL OF IT - resonated on so many levels. I'm in a much better place. I know my value and I don't need to keep hitting my head against the wall anymore.
This meme makes me sad and frustrated. First there is a better way to share self care and mental health than using this meme to shock people. As a result I think your message got lost. To me this meme says more about the company they work for than the HR professionals. Sadly I have been the HR person multiple times when an employee passes. We coordinated grief counselors for the employees, send food to the family, worked with family to ensure they have what they need for counseling, life insurance, etc. We often focused on everyone else’s feelings instead of our own, crying into our pillows at night. I don’t ever recall cleaning out someone’s desk while planning to replace them. That is a companies culture not HR. I am grateful to have worked for some amazing companies that wouldn’t even consider these actions.
I love, love, love my work and have enjoyed the many companies that I have worked with throughout my career. I am committed to do the best possible job I can do. I do not have children, and I am not married so work is a major aspect of my life. I learned early and in an unfortunate and retrospective way when my father was dying, that your work colleagues will not be the ones holding your hand while you are on your death bed. It is good to be committed to work, yet it is also good to recognize that ultimately, yourself, friends and family should be in the front seat as you travel the journey of life. As committed as you are to your work, never be confused about your value; people will miss you when you leave, yet you will be replaced and the work goes on…
I lost my sibling and my company sent flowers. I can guarantee if it was me.. my company would do more than send flowers. Not everyone is the same. If I were gone tomorrow, I would hope my office would clean everything out immeditely .. maybe they find something to mail or email my parents while they are dealing with the hardest time in their lives. That move could have been the one thing that lifted them up. Maybe this person who passed had awards in their office and they could be displayed at a funeral so the people mourning can remember some of the good things they did while on this planet. This is not me saying be married to your work. This is me saying if you trust in the place where you work, then flowers are not a concern.
I think that should be amended to *some* companies. If you chase the dollar in highly competitive sales or engineering jobs with cutting edge companies that are global and you don't interact much with your peers expect your worth to be tied to your productivity. If you work for a smaller corporation or one with tight knit groups then they can see the full scope of who you are. My grandfather worked at a contractor company for 30 years and retired in the 80s. He died at 101 in 2018. They still had a company man show up with flowers 30 years later. They were under no obligation besides human decency. So yeah Corporations *aren't* people but they are composed of people and the connections you make with them matter.
Most things are a matter of how one processes information. I noticed some feel this is a slam against HR professionals. I saw it as a piece on self-reflection and our choices in honor of ourselves. What stood out to me most was the part that said, "Starting today, recognize your professional worth. Never become so attached to a system that your identity can’t be separated from it. That’s having a healthy boundary and relationship with your job." I didn't give very much thought to HR while reading it. It also reminds me of another quote I have frequently seen. "The only people who get upset about you setting boundaries are those who benefit from you having none. " Thank you for sharing your perspective with us.
I had and saw this harsh reminder February 1991. My mom passed away suddenly. It was a Friday evening when she passed. Her employer of over 16 years,called our family told us they were coming to get her transportation vehicle. She drove for the mentally handicapped taking them to job sites. Sure it’s not ours they came and NOT ONE or anybody said any condolences or anything. We were asked is all her personal rings out of the vehicle and can we get the keys. Yup to both questions. The day of her service only 2 employees came to her service and that company NEVWR sent a card,flower arrangement or anything That moment at 22 years old set the tone for me for the rest of my life with ALL employers and jobs
"Never become so attached to a system that your identity can’t be separated from it. That’s having a healthy boundary and relationship with your job." Well said. I think it is a relative minority to have this solid loyalty and boundary respect for organizations in the comments... Unfortunately it is so engrained in our society to almost entirely focus on work, that people don't have lives outside of it, or on the other side, they avoid the challenging parts of family, relationships, etc by using work. Something perhaps they Can control and that is easier to address than the rest of life. Boundaries all around.
This post is the problem with LinkedIn, I have seen the same tweet or meme with a different person saying it. I guess HR departments must be hell on earth according to creators 😒
Deputy Judicial Administrator--Human Resources at Louisiana Supreme Court
1yThis is absolutely correct that we are all replaceable and should not make work our life. Home and family should always come first. I find it interesting that these fingers always point at H.R. What others don't see when these events occur--in my experience--is that H.R. is also first on the scene for the family, grief counselor, insurance counselor, funeral planner, funeral speaker. I have held many families' hands through the shock of losing a loved one who was an employee. While it may be H.R.'s job to post the job when the company decides it's time, H.R. is also still in contact with the family for months after a loss of an employee; and yes, we collect an employee's things from their desk or office...not because they're replaceable so quickly; but because they may have personal things in their space that their family needs or wants, including information that their family needs...I've found banking information in employees' desks, among many other personal pieces of information that is valuable to their family. So don't make H.R. the bad guy here. It's never easy when an employee passes away.