Dannie-Lu Carr’s Post

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Executive Coach (ILM L7) / Senior Training Consultant / Founder of Flaming Leadership / Singer-Songwriter / Actor / Director / Writer / Podcaster / DEI Champion

Confidence is the most common word I hear from my clients when they talk about something they'd like more of in their work and life. So, I decided to write something about this and debunk some stuff in the process. It is paramount to grasp that confidence doesn't just appear out of thin air, and it's not something anyone can really teach. Instead, confidence reflects the courage and determination we bring to the table ourselves, as well as the amount of permission we give ourselves to do, say, or act in a certain way in response to a certain thing. Cultivating confidence requires us to meet it at least halfway. We can't just sit around waiting for it to come to us or simply wishing we had been born with ‘it’. We need to actively step out of our comfort zones, feel a bit scared, and do the thing anyway. It's easier said than done, but the more you do it, the easier it gets. And the reward of confidence is a pretty good motivator to start to get out of your own way. Ask yourself: How tall can you stand in the face of adversity? How much can you speak up even when you're nervous? How defiant can you be in pursuing your aspirations, even when others tell you to be more "realistic"? Owning your strengths without apology and daring to have your own back is everything. Too often, we look externally for validation, which is always a costly mistake. Don't let the fear of being perceived as arrogant hold you back either. Arrogance is to confidence as aggression is to assertiveness (a whole other think piece, I reckon). True confidence comes with huge dollops of humility, humanness, and humour. It's about owning it all – flaws, mistakes, and imperfections. Start by taking small steps. Challenge yourself daily to do something that pushes you to the edges of your comfort zone. Become your own biggest advocate, acknowledge your successes, and give yourself some self-compassion when you stumble and fall. Be bold and allow for some resilience. With each step you take and each obstacle you overcome, you build a foundation of self-assurance. Your confidence, by default, will then go ahead and create itself. You’re welcome. #confidence #backyourself #selfpermission Photo by Alena Jarrett on Unsplash

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