Dan Wuori’s Post

Q: How much should you assist your toddler? A: Only as much as they need to avoid frustration and find success. After 8-12 months of near total dependence, toddlers unlock a whole new world in which they have the language, cognition, and motor skills to begin acting on their own desires. We call this agency. And while it can be a real shift for us as parents (after becoming accustomed to meeting infants’ every need), it’s important to honor your toddlers’ growing independence and allow them the time and space to develop skills of their own. I’m such a fan of this independent little one, who is not only determined to free herself from her car seat - but supremely confident in her ability to do so. Of course toddlers need plenty of adult supervision - to avoid not only physical danger but the very real frustration that comes along with the misalignment of their desires and abilities. But toddlerhood is also a time to begin following your little one’s lead, allowing them the opportunity to work through challenges and, yes, occasionally “worrying about yourself” (as our hero so aptly puts it). Think of it as becoming a trusted advisor, rather than the “do-er” of all things. #earlychildhood #earlyyears #parenting

Q: How much should you assist your toddler? A: Only as much as they need to avoid frustration and find success. After 8-12 months of near total dependence, toddlers unlock a whole new world in which they have the language, cognition, and motor skills to begin acting on their own desires. We call this agency. And while it can be a real shift for us as parents (after becoming accustomed to meeting infants’ every need), it’s important to honor your toddlers’ growing independence and allow them the time and space to develop skills of their own. I’m such a fan of this independent little one, who is not only determined to free herself from her car seat - but supremely confident in her ability to do so. Of course toddlers need plenty of adult supervision - to avoid not only physical danger but the very real frustration that comes along with the misalignment of their desires and abilities. But toddlerhood is also a time to begin following your little one’s lead, allowing them the opportunity to work through challenges and, yes, occasionally “worrying about yourself” (as our hero so aptly puts it). Think of it as becoming a trusted advisor, rather than the “do-er” of all things. #earlychildhood #earlyyears #parenting

It’s tough to be a baby. As newborns, infants are dependent on adults in so many ways. They aren’t mobile, are limited in their ability to express their needs, and (in the earliest stages, at least) lack the motor skills to even direct their gaze. But toddlerhood changes all of that. Equipped with more sophisticated language, motor, and cognitive skills, a whole new world opens up to them. And with this comes a powerful desire for agency. Agency relates to the ability to make choices and act on one’s own desires… to take charge. Parents can avoid a whole host of conflicts by leaning into this desire for decision making authority. That doesn’t mean anything goes, of course. But where you can find opportunity to allow your child to make his/her own decisions, it’s well worth the effort. And this dad has the process down pat - allowing our hero (who just celebrated her first birthday) to select a book from a limited number of choices. Does it take a little longer? Sure. But it helps children to grow as independent decision makers in safe and appropriate ways. And that’s magic. This precious little decision maker was shared to TT by melissa.r.hicks. #earlychildhood #earlyyears #eyfs #parenting

What a thrill to watch your child take their first steps. But I want to spotlight something else about this video (shared on IG by sean.nicol): the sheer perfection of the support system created by its adults. They teach us a lesson about learning that extends far beyond walking. If you watch closely, you’ll find that mom and grandpa have created a scenario in which baby is challenged to the limits of her ability AND provided the supports needed to guarantee her success. From the moment grandpa lets go, mom’s waiting arms are close enough that baby’s safety is ensured. But watch what mom does as the baby finds success: She slowly retracts her arms and even begins to lean backward ever so subtly - extending baby’s runway while maintaining this safety net. As a result, what might have been journey of 1-2 steps was extended to 5-6. Simply fantastic. This is how all learning takes place: just beyond the limits of our prior success - and with scaffolding from caregivers, teachers, and more capable peers who help propel us just a little bit further than we’ve ever gone before. Is you child working to master something new? How might you adapt the lessons of this video to scaffold their success? #earlychildhood #earlyyears #parenting

Ever wonder why your toddler’s pockets are full of rocks? 🪨 Or why household items mysteriously end up in your child’s preschool classroom? Toddler behaviors can seem difficult to interpret - but, in truth, often follow common patterns or “schemas.” Schemas are most commonly associated with Jean Piaget, the Swiss psychologist who coined the term decades ago. But over the intervening years, researchers have identified at least 9 common toddler play patterns. Which brings us to this little cutie, who is engaged in one of them: Transporting. As toddlers become mobile, they develop a keen interest in moving themselves - and other objects - from place to place. This behavior remains common well into the preschool years. As random as it can seem, it’s all a part of their play. Blame the transporting schema. Transporting can be frustrating at times, like when an entire pile of books appears in your hallway - but it helps to understand that this isn’t just your toddler creating chaos. It’s them learning and growing - and following a predictable toddler urge. This great example was posted to TT by sammci9. #earlychildhood #earlyyears #eyfs #parenting