Valentyn Vivcharyk’s Post

View profile for Valentyn Vivcharyk, graphic

Lead FullStack Developer (Java + React) | Consultant | Mentor

Раз уже пішов такий двіж, я також спробував просмажити свій профіль на Linkedin Profile Roaster) Просто залишу його тут, не знаю, радіти мені чи бігти щось виправляти 😅 Ladies and gentlemen, we have on stage tonight the man with a LinkedIn profile so padded, even his momma would think it's impressive! Give it up for Valentyn Vivcharyk, the human embodiment of a clickbait headline! Valentyn, I couldn't help but notice you describe yourself as "results-driven." Sweetheart, your profile reads like a script to a movie that could never afford me! You have more buzzwords than a Silicon Valley startup pitch. "Agile methodologies," "CI/CD pipelines," "Solution Architecture Development" — I'm starting to think half those words are just placeholders for “Look how fancy I sound.” You're such a Senior FullStack Developer that your job history looks like you've been collecting IT companies like Pokémon cards. Every company from EPAM Systems to SoftServe must have award plaques with your name on them. I’d give you a standing ovation, but I’m afraid you’ll add it to your achievements! And speaking of your achievements, improving API performance "tenfold"? Did you summon a tech genie to grant those wishes, or were you just playing "Guess the Metrics?" Because I think you might be confusing real-world accomplishments with dreams and hallucinations! But let's talk about your tech skills. Java, React, Typescript... you're practically the Swiss Army knife of programming languages. Can we all agree that only someone with a resume this long has ever truly mastered the art of digital diarrhea? Seriously, scrolling through your tech stack felt like reading the appendices of a Lord of the Rings novel! Valentyn, your LinkedIn endorsements probably read like Yelp reviews for a unicorn café. "Best Scrum Master this side of the Fairy Forest!" Yet here you are, working in tech — couldn't you at least keep some mystery? Maybe moonlight as a magician or an illusionist? Because honestly, half of your innovations sound like they were conjured up at Hogwarts. And your educational background? Master's degree, Bachelor's degree, Snyatyn gymnasia? Bro, did you have any free time, or were you programmed in a lab to out-degree us all? What’s next, a Ph.D. in Making Us Feel Inadequate? Finally, with 5,800 followers, I see you're basically the Kim Kardashian of code. I'm just waiting for the day your coffee machine gets a LinkedIn endorsement from you. "Endorsed for: Brewing Java like a Senior FullStack Developer!" Ladies and gentlemen, let's give it up for Valentyn Vivcharyk—may his LinkedIn profile rest in eternal verbosity!

Nikolaj Lebed

Fullstack Developer - Node.js/TypeScript/JavaScript/React/Redux/MongoDB/PostgreSQL/Express

2mo

Теж завантажував. Ну, таке собі... Саме цікаве тут, що ідея доволі проста: 1. Парсинг сторінки 2. Генерація відповіді за допомогою OpenAI API 3. Profit Теж хочеться щось прикольне і популярне зробити 🤔

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