“When you say 'yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying 'no’ to yourself.” - Paulo Coelho. Recently, I found out that I am a bit of a people-pleaser. Luckily, my people-pleasing skills have been beneficial these last few years. I want people to be happy and stress-free, and this is good for my career. But people-pleasing tendencies are a net negative for most. So why hasn't it stopped my progress these last few years? The main reason? I am 𝗰𝗿𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿 on my 𝗽𝘂𝗿𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻. This clarity has enabled me to set boundaries and create space for myself, ensuring that the demands of others don’t get in the way of my bigger goals. I’ve come to realise that many who struggle with burnout and stress also have that people-pleasing gene. They regularly put others first, saying “yes” to every request, often at the expense of their own well-being. Here’s what I’ve learned about managing this tendency: 𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻: Acknowledge when you’re prioritising others over yourself. Awareness is the first step to change (mindfulness can help to improve awareness) 𝗖𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗳𝘆 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗣𝘂𝗿𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲: Understand your personal and professional goals. With a clear vision, it’s easier to see when something is misaligned. 𝗦𝗲𝘁 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀: Establish limits on your time and energy. It’s okay to say “no” when a request conflicts with your priorities (of course, you need to know what your priorities are; see point 2!). 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗲: Do things that recharge you. Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine, whether it’s a daily mindfulness practice, exercise, or simply downtime. 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗖𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗹𝘆: Let others know your limits. Clear communication can prevent misunderstandings and over-commitment. By setting boundaries and prioritising your needs, you protect your well-being and improve your ability to support others. Ultimately, if you’re a people pleaser, the best way to please people is to be at your best, sustainably over the long term. Looking after yourself is the least selfish thing you could possibly do!! #HR #BurnoutPrevention #EmployeeWellbeing #SelfCare #Leadership #Mindfulness #CorporateWellbeing #StressManagement #MentalHealth #WorkLifeBalance #PeoplePleaser #Boundaries #Purpose #Vision
Be kind to thy self
Love this quote, I use it with my clients 😊
Content creator, freelance writer and editor
6moYes! Boundaries are super important. The older I get, the more I realize just how. I recently wrote a piece on boundaries (you can read here, if interested: https://medium.com/dose-of-wonder/may-your-force-be-with-you-64fd76546566 )