Convey your warmth and concern

- Jason manages a team of people who consider him to be brilliant in all things work related. Yet, there were signs they didn't truly trust him. People held back when he asked for ideas, and he never heard any critical feedback. Jason was demonstrating oodles of competency cues, but people also needed to know that he cared about them, not just the projects on their desks. He needed to warm up his interactions with others and signal more empathy with his team. Research by Catalyst shows that empathetic leaders have more innovative, productive teams, and higher retention of good employees. So for Jason's colleagues and yours, competency cues, answer the question, are you capable of acting on your intentions? But empathy cues, answer the question, are your intentions toward me good? We must prove our positive intent, our care when building trust. Consider some situations or relationships where others might doubt your concern for them. Then try these suggestions to warm up. Tilt your head slightly. Keep your body posture open and relaxed rather than closed or rigid. And smile more. And be sure it's a genuine smile, which means the corners of your eyes will crease, your cheekbones will lift, and not just the corners of your mouth. When you speak, keep your voice at a fairly soft volume. Booming voices signal strength. But we're focusing on compassion here. Ask questions about non-business related issues. Take an interest in people and their lives. - Oh, I meant to ask you, how was Leo's first day of kindergarten? - Oh, well, at first he was nervous, but when I picked him up, he looked happy and said he had a fun day. So, all as well. Thank you for asking. - Use tentative language. For example, when people in power want others to feel comfortable disagreeing, they might say, "I'm not sure about this, but I've been thinking maybe we should try such and such. What do you think?" Now, a cautionary note here, this is exactly opposite what you need to do, if you're trying to project more power or expertise. Use we and our, rather than I and me. That's going to communicate your awareness and connection to others. Signaling empathy is especially challenging with colleagues who aren't co-located with you. Leave voicemails rather than emails, so people can hear your thoughtful, kind tone of voice. Turn your cameras on during virtual meetings, so people see your smile, your head nodding, and your eye contact. At meetings, use people's names so they feel noticed. Credit others and express appreciation as often as you possibly can. Trust me, you cannot over compliment or appreciate people when you're being sincere. So name one person who might doubt your good intentions toward them. For example, I have a colleague who asked me recently to cover a class and I wasn't able to help. So right now is a good time for me to prioritize, showing my concern. Once you have your person in mind, write down three small actions you can take to demonstrate that you understand this person, you care, and you have their back. And that my friend is your empathy boosting action plan.