The Men's Book Breakfast ~ The MBB

Continuing our early morning sessions at The Men's Book Breakfast ~ The MBB with the great gentlemen of T482, this past Saturday, Peter Miano Mwangi, BA (Economics),MSc (Finance), CPA-K skillfully moderated as we delved into chapters 12–15 of Essentialism by Greg McKeown. The insights shared were both profound and practical, touching on the struggles many of us face, especially with uncommitting. Below are some of the key takeaways: Uncommit: Let Go of the Unnecessary ❇️“Half of the troubles in life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.” ❇️The Concorde example reminded us that even groundbreaking achievements can become liabilities when we fail to uncommit from losing ventures. To uncommit effectively: 🔹 Extricate yourself politely and gracefully. 🔹Beware of the endowment effect: pretend you don’t own it yet. 🔹Admit failure to begin success. 🔹Get a neutral second opinion to combat the status quo bias. 🔹Apply zero-based budgeting: start afresh when assessing commitments. 🔹Stop making casual commitments—whether it’s saying “I’ll see what I can do” to a friend’s request or overpromising on tasks, pause before you speak. Edit: The Invisible Art ❇️“To write is human, to edit is divine.” ❇️Stephen King’s principle to “kill your darlings” reminds us not to hold onto everything but to focus on the essential. Limit: Setting Boundaries ❇️“No” is a complete answer. ❇️Deal breakers are the real deals—identify yours. ❇️Don’t rob people of their problems. Taking on others' burdens can inhibit their growth. Acknowledge what’s theirs and empower them to solve it. ❇️Establish social contracts: clear upfront boundaries help everyone understand goals and limits. Buffer: The Unfair Advantage ❇️“Give me six hours to chop down a tree, and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” —Abraham Lincoln. ❇️Essentialists embrace buffers to reduce friction caused by the unexpected: Add 50% to time estimates (e.g., a 30-minute task should include an extra 15-minute buffer). ❇️Conduct scenario planning: anticipate risks, worst-case scenarios, and their impacts—then prepare accordingly. ❇️Use extreme preparation to avoid scrambling under pressure. This chapter emphasized that life is unpredictable, but with thoughtful buffers, we can better manage surprises without derailing our plans. The practicality of this book has been so compelling that the group decided to extend our discussions by adding a fifth and final session next Saturday to wrap up this quarter’s read and reflect on implementing these lessons in our daily lives. A big thank you to the gentlemen present—Peter Miano Mwangi, BA (Economics),MSc (Finance), CPA-K, Amos Pride, George Mandere Mochengo (Dip.CSMP® M.ISMI), and Samuel Kyalo—for enriching the discussion with your wisdom and experiences. Let’s keep sharpening the axe! 🪓 The Photo is AI-generated. #MensBookBreakfast #Essentialism #Uncommit #SetLimits #BuildBuffers #PersonalGrowth

"When we give back, we don't just return a favor; we ignite a culture of gratitude and generosity." – Inspired by Lawrence Githinji - Managing Director - East Africa, KONE at our Rise Inner Circle Africa (RICA) Christmas Dinner. How are you watering the seeds of gratitude in your circle today? https://lnkd.in/d-sC95n4 #yournextbestself #leadershipdevelopment

Never Split The Difference by Christopher Voss, a reflection of Saturday's morning review by The Men's Book Breakfast ~ The MBB . Chapter 10: The Black Swan Chris Voss gives a brief introduction on the chapter's title with an anecdote of how a black swan was unheard of as people were only used to seeing white swans, before the Dutch explorer Willem de Vlamingh travelled to Australia it was not known they exist. In a negotiation, there are things that you do not know that you do not know, the unknown unknowns. In the art of negotiation, a Black Swan is a piece(s) of information that was previously unknown but has the potential of swinging the negotiation in your favor. The following are the key take away from the chapter: 1. Let the information you know guide you in the negotiation but not blind you, remain flexible and adaptable to new information. 2. Be keen on picking nuggets of information that may give you leverage in the negotiation. The following are the types of leverage:              a. Positive - the ability to give someone what he or she wants.              b. Negative - the ability to hurt someone (avoid this if you can).              c. Normative - using your counterpart’s norms to bring them around. 3. When your counterpart in a negotiation seem irrational they may be facing one of the following:              a. They are working with bad information.              b. They are constrained in one way or another.              c. They have other hidden desires. 4. Dig into worldviews of your counterpart, this implies moving beyond the negotiating table and into their life, emotional and otherwise. This is their "Religion" and here Black Swans live. 5. Exploit the similarity principle. People are more apt to concede to someone they share a cultural similarity with, so dig for what makes them tick and show that you share common ground. 6. Get some FaceTime with your counterpart in the negotiation, from this you can pick important non-verbal communication that can help in disclosing the unknowns. 7. Separate the situation from the person, it is the situation that is the conflict and not the person on the other side of the table. Do not fear argument/conflict rather navigate through it with empathy and push hard for what you believe is not selfish. Lawrence Githinji Geoffrey Amadi Andrew Balongo Opere Luturian Joseph Mahu Kimutai James Kiumbe Kantai Sayei Mwangi Kagwe

Today we wrapped up our discussion of the Quarter 4- 2024-The Men's Book Breakfast ~ The MBB, Group-T500. The book "Never Split The Difference by Christopher Voss with Tahl Raz". The key takeaways from the book are:-   1. #EffectiveNegotiation prioritizes connecting with the other party to uncover their true desires and #Leverage that knowledge to achieve your objectives.    2. Employ #ActiveListening and #StrategicEmpathy to create a safe environment for counterparts to reveal their genuine thoughts.   3. Use techniques like #Mirroring,#Labels, #DynamicSilence, and #CalibratedQuestions like "How...?" or "What...?"   4. An initial rejection signifies the start of negotiations. A pivotal moment is when the counterpart says, "That's right!"  5. Identify if their negotiation style is Analyst, Accommodator, or Assertive.   6. Uncover #Blackswans that will build leverage in any negotiation. Thanks to team members Sylvester Muthoka, MSc 🇰🇪🇬🇧; Martin Nyaga, CAMS; Edwin Muiruri; and our team lead Lawrence Githinji for spearheading this initiative. #Negotiation #BookClubJourney #LeadershipInsights #MensBookBreakfast #MensMentalHealth

𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽, 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗗𝗼𝘂𝗯𝘁 Last Saturday, as tradition dictates, The Men's Book Breakfast ~ The MBB took a refreshing turn; we opted for forest bathing. This walk, at Karura Forest (friends of karura community forest association ) initiated by Sir George Mandere Mochengo (Dip.CSMP® M.ISMI) and supported by the gentlemen of T482, was more than just a stroll through nature; it became a masterclass in leadership, relationships, and personal growth. An intriguing coincidence? All the men in this group wear glasses. Perhaps seeing things clearly,literally and figuratively,is a hallmark of this team! The conversations were rich, spanning Greg McKeown’s Essentialism, family dynamics, and corporate leadership. A standout discussion? The idea of blended leadership: ✔️His logic-driven approach meets her emotionally intuitive lens. ✔️The result? Balanced, effective leadership that combines critical analysis with empathetic decision-making. In the corporate world, this blending isn’t just theoretical; it’s essential. The question we must all ask: Are our leadership teams diverse enough to strike this balance? We also explored another poignant topic: couples owning and running businesses together. ❓Should they? Yes; but with 𝗖𝗟𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗬. Success lies in defining roles, separating work from personal life, and fostering mutual respect to avoid conflicts. And then, we touched on a universal truth: belief. ✳️Faith, be it in religion, business, or leadership, begins with doubt. It’s through questioning that we discover conviction, not by blindly following but by seeking understanding. This group’s strength lies in its diversity of thought and depth of conversation. Special thanks to Peter Miano Mwangi, BA (Economics),MSc (Finance), CPA-K George Mandere Mochengo (Dip.CSMP® M.ISMI), Samuel Kyalo and David chasimba for their fresh perspectives. TMBB remains a space where we exchange not just ideas but actionable insights. As leaders, here’s my parting thought: ❔Are you blending logic and emotion in your decision-making? ❔Are you fostering environments where doubt leads to discovery and growth? ❔And most importantly, are you investing in relationships—personal and professional—that challenge and sharpen your vision? Looking forward to more impactful conversations. Until next time, let’s keep seeing things clearly—glasses or not! #LeadershipEssentials #TMBB #BalancedLeadership #Mentorship #Growth

On this day 14/12/24 at 10 AM, our T500 of The Men's Book Breakfast ~ The MBB Q4 group wrapped up Never Split the Difference by Christopher Voss with its final chapter: Find the Black Swan. This moment felt like the perfect culmination of a book that has been nothing short of transformative. Chapter 10 drove home a powerful lesson: the key to successful negotiations is uncovering the Black Swans—those hidden, unexpected pieces of information that can shift the entire dynamic. Key takeaways: ✨ Stay Curious: Assumptions can blind us to possibilities. Dig deeper to uncover the unspoken motivations and fears that drive decisions. ✨ Read Between the Lines: Pay attention to subtle clues—body language, tone, or hesitations—to find the truths others aren’t saying. ✨ Leverage Insights: The smallest detail can provide massive leverage if you're prepared to spot it. This book has taught us to listen better, empathize deeply, and negotiate smarter—not just in business, but in life. It’s been an incredible journey of growth, and we can’t wait to apply these principles to our daily interactions. What has Never Split the Difference taught you? #Leadership #Negotiation #Growth #BookClubInsights Lawrence Githinji, The Men's Book Breakfast ~ The MBB, Martin Nyaga, CAMS, Edwin Muiruri, Eng. Edmond Wanyela Wekesa,P.E,MIEK, PMP®️.

Celebrating Excellence: Congratulations, Dr. Mark Awori The Men's Book Breakfast ~ The MBB proudly celebrates Dr. Mark Awori on his remarkable achievement of graduating with a PhD in Surgery from the University of Nairobi during the 72nd graduation ceremony held on 13th December, 2024, in Nairobi. Dr Mark Awori offerred to lead the second group (Team 2) to be formed when the MBB was just beginning. Dr. Mark is not only a distinguished cardiothoracic surgeon and senior lecturer at UON but also a published author, avid reader, engaging speaker, and devoted family man. His unwavering passion for training the next generation of African cardiac surgeons has driven the establishment of the Gertrudes Children’s Hospital Training Centre in Nairobi, where he serves as a member of the Board of Trustees. We applaud Dr. Mark for his dedication to excellence in medicine, education, and leadership. Congratulations, Dr. Mark! #Leadership #Inspiration #Surgery #MedicalExcellence #TheMBB #UON

Finishing Strong. Quite a year it has been, from starting so-so, now we are at the close of it, what does finishing strong mean? Does a strong start matter? What are we finishing anyway? Has anyone ever finished strong? What huddles are likely to come up? How do we finish strong yet we've never been on this race track? An exciting journey at The Men's Book Breakfast ~ The MBB T492, ably led by CPA Jimmy Bogonko , as we looked at these questions, among many others, based on Steve Farrar's "Finishing Strong - Going the Distance for Your Family." Earlier on today we had a quick meet and greet and recapped the book, take away highlights: 1. 🚁It matters not where you are or how many fails you've experienced,start now and here, and journey towards a strong finish. 2. 🛳️Never walk alone. Find a band of brothers to hold you accountable and supported. A gang of friends may not do much. 3. 🛶Set aside every sin that so easily entangles you (Man, you do know what that is for you). Set your boundaries. Be definitive and firm. Keep the good in, and the bad out, your boundary is your filter. 4. 🛬Have a vision and follow it through. What is your vision for yourself? Your family? Your career? Your friendships? Your faith? Your community? Define it and write it down. 5. Keep tabs. Document your journey. Journal your experiences. 6. ⛵Read. Expand your knowledge. Invest in books - good literature (Social media is not necessarily good literature, no offense). 7. 🛫Face and heal your wounds (Could be from father or mother or family or friends). Don't carry burdens with you that don't help your journey. And don't pass forward wounds from your past. All in all, set out for a goal and be intentional at attaining it. Life is not a sprint, neither is it a marathon, it is a run for life. Very enriching conversations unfortunately can't fit in these few word captions. To T492 team: Bet Thomas Lameck Nyakoe Prof. (Eng.) Christopher Maina Muriithi, PE, MIEK CPA Jimmy Bogonko Victor Koros Francis Ishmail Thanks gentlemen, it was a great pleasure conversing and connecting. Unto the next. Keep up the good fight, we start so we can finish , and if we must finish, finishing strong we must. (Un)Fortunately, we are already in the race right from birth. Focus on the strong finish. #FinishingStrong #Masclunity #Family #Books

🚀 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗡𝗲𝗴𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: 𝗟𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝟱 & 𝟲 𝗼𝗳 𝗡𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝗽𝗹𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 🚀 ✍️ Negotiation mastery takes a transformative turn in Christopher Voss's book, 𝘕𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘚𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦. Chapters 5 and 6 unveil actionable insights to build trust, influence perceptions, and close deals effectively. On Sunday, at T505 The Men's Book Breakfast ~ The MBB we dissected Chapters 5 and 6 of the book, here are some key takeaways: 🔑𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟱: 𝗧𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝘄𝗼 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺 𝗔𝗻𝘆 𝗡𝗲𝗴𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 1️⃣ Behavior Change Stairway Model (BCSM) This framework transitions a negotiation from active listening to influencing behavior. Stages include active listening, empathy, rapport, influence, and behavior change. 2️⃣ "That's Right" Breakthrough Achieve alignment by summarizing the counterpart’s perspective with empathy. 3️⃣Effective Pauses Strategic silences encourage deeper sharing and self-reflection from the counterpart. 4️⃣ Minimal Encouragers Short affirmations like "Yes," "I see," and "Uh-huh" show attentiveness without interrupting. 5️⃣ Mirroring Repeating select words or phrases from the counterpart builds rapport & prompts further elaboration. 6️⃣ Labeling Emotions Acknowledge the other party’s emotions explicitly. 7️⃣ Paraphrasing for Clarity Restating their points ensures both parties are on the same page and builds trust. 8️⃣ Accurate Summarizing Combine labeling and paraphrasing to create alignment. 9️⃣ Avoid "You’re Right" “You’re right” often ends conversations without achieving meaningful progress. Aim for “that’s right” instead. 🔑𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟲: 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 1️⃣ Avoid Compromise Splitting the difference often leads to suboptimal outcomes. Compromise is a bad deal - No deal is better than bad deal. 2️⃣ Deadlines: Make Time Your Ally Consequences for failing to meet deadlines causes pressure and anxiety, leading to impulsive actions. 3️⃣ Anchor Their Emotions Begin with an accusation audit, acknowledging all of their fears. Frame discussions to highlight losses if a deal isn’t made, triggering their natural aversion to loss. 4️⃣ Let Them Speak First Allowing the counterpart to make the first offer reveals their priorities. Prepare to counter effectively. 5️⃣ Establish a Range Proposing a range instead of a fixed offer anchors perceptions of fairness. 6️⃣ Non-Monetary Terms Add value by negotiating terms beyond financials that are less costly for the counterpart. 7️⃣ Use Odd Numbers Odd numbers appear calculated and firm. 8️⃣ Surprise with Generosity Small, unexpected gestures can soften resistance and inspire reciprocity. 9️⃣ The Power of the F-Word: Fair The most powerful word in negotiations is Fair. Identify how it is used, and use the right response. #Negotiation #EmotionalIntelligence #Leadership #Communication #ChrisVoss #NeverSplitTheDifference

#T482_Group of The Men's Book Breakfast ~ The MBB #TMBB #essentialism #Saturday, December 7, 2024. The human race is built through play, and we are built to play. In "Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less," Greg McKeown argues that when we play, we are engaged in the purest expression of our #humanity, the truest expression of our individuality. Unfortunately, in most societies, socio-cultural belief systems view play as trivial, unnecessary, and a waste of valuable time, especially for grownups. Here, play is even equated to being childish. As a result, the idea that play is trivial and unnecessary has been ingrained in us as we enter adulthood and made worse as we enter the workplace. Undoubtedly, lack of play and physical exercise has contributed to the myriad of health problems like high blood pressure, heart diseases, and depression at the workplace. It is under this backdrop that our group comprising Evans Mwika, David chasimba, Samuel Kyalo Peter Miano Mwangi, BA (Economics),MSc (Finance), CPA-K (#Teamleader of the Day), and I met at Karura Forest this last Saturday for a 5-kilometre morning walk interspersed with tidbits on essentialism. We walked, and later I did a 10-kilometre run, simply for the joy of physical exercise rather than as a means to an end, and the experience was invigorating and rejuvenating. In a study of the play history of six thousand individuals, Stuart Brown of THE NATIONAL INSTITUTE FOR PLAY, concluded that play has the power to significantly improve everything from personal health to #relationships to education and to organizations' ability to innovate. Play or physical exercise leads to brain plasticity and adaptability and enriches our creativity capacity. Ultimately, this has a positive effect on the executive function of our brains, more so in enhancing planning, decision-making, and delegation skills. Indeed, the value of play in our lives cannot be overstated. Greg McKeown stated that play or physical exercise expands our minds in ways that allow us to explore and germinate new ideas or see old ideas in a new light. Further, play is an antidote to stress. Contrary to the delusion that play is unnecessary and childish, we should take it more seriously. Organisations should embrace the power of play since it will promote the well-being and interpersonal development of their employees, leading to more productivity in the workplace. Donald Kimtai Lawrence Githinji