The Bayar Group, LLC

🎅 Why Sitting on Santa’s Lap is a problem... there, I said it 🎅⁠ ⁠ As someone focused on abuse prevention, I often talk about boundaries, safety, and the power of understanding true consent. During the holidays, a common tradition often sparks debate: children sitting on Santa's lap. ⁠ ⁠ While it might seem harmless or nostalgic, here’s why it’s worth reconsidering:⁠ ⁠ 1️⃣ Respecting Body Autonomy: Forcing a child to sit on someone’s lap—Santa or otherwise—sends the message that their comfort level with their body being placed on another is not as important as the photo op. That can be a very damaging message when it comes to bodily autonomy. ⁠ ⁠ 2️⃣ Understanding Consent: Even in fun, lighthearted settings, we have to model consent. Asking a child if they want to meet Santa or pose for a photo helps them recognize that their choices matter.⁠ ⁠ 3️⃣ Safe Alternatives: SANTA IS PROBABLY A STRANGER! There are creative, safe ways to keep the magic alive! Children can stand or sit nearby, high-five Santa, or wave from a distance—whatever makes them feel comfortable.⁠ ⁠ The holidays are a wonderful time to build joyful memories while reinforcing critical values like safety, respect, and autonomy. Let’s embrace traditions that celebrate the season and protect our kids.⁠ ⁠ #HolidaySafety #ChristmasSafety #KidsSafety ⁠

I pulled out my winter coat this week — which means it's colder and darker. This is the season when many kids tend to spend more time indoors—often gaming. In my professional experience, this season often coincides with an uptick in safety concerns related to gaming. To help make your child’s gaming environment safer, here are my top tips: 1️⃣ Spend five minutes researching the gaming platform. Does the game involve fantasy worlds? What comes up when you search the game name alongside terms like "abuse" or "safety"? 2️⃣ Familiarize yourself with privacy settings. Set them up to ensure your kids are only gaming with people they know in real life. 3️⃣ Encourage gaming in shared spaces. Avoid closed doors while gaming. This setup can be overwhelming for parents, but it’s a key safety step. 4️⃣ Establish clear boundaries across platforms. No switching platforms (e.g., FaceTiming or texting) with someone your child met online while gaming. This is a major red flag! Creating a safe gaming space requires intentionality, but it’s worth it to ensure your kids are protected. 💡 Follow me for more abuse prevention strategies and tips. #AbusePrevention #OnlineGaming #DigitalSafety

This tip is for all parents and guardians: let’s not tell our kids who their safe adults are. Watch to find out why. ➡️ #AbusePreventionTrainings #AbusePreventionSafety #AbusePreventionSpeaker

Next week, I head to the Foundation for Jewish Camp Leaders Assembly Conference in Chicago. 🛫 It has always been a wonderful conference with camp professionals from all over, engaging, learning and planning. It is the Largest Gathering of Professional and Volunteer Jewish Camp Leadership—and I am so thankful to be presenting a session on boundaries as abuse prevention and leadership development.  Let me know if you will be at the conference as I would love to connect! #ChicagoConference #LeadersAssemblyConference #DecemberPlans

The Monday after a long holiday weekend is always a hard time to start again! 😅 I spent most of November traveling to different states to give keynotes and training... this is the first Monday that I have been home in over a month. Yet this morning I was out at 8 AM on my way to another school for boundaries and mandated reporting for their half-a-day PD day. I love what I do, and at the start of a new month, I try to think about the month ahead — the calls scheduled, the travel set and the time I need to take in order to show up as a professional, a parent, a spouse and a human. I can't say that I have found the magic formula but work-life balance will always be a must. In the fast-paced work that I do, I’m always reminded of what matters most: family, health, and safety. Wishing everyone a wonderful December. #WorkLifeBalance #WellnessReminder #StayConnected

❤️ Wishing everyone a happy, healthy, and safe #Thanksgiving ⁠ ⁠ This is the perfect time to remind the kids of your family's safety values. ⁠ ⁠ 🍂 This is also the time to strategize about how to speak to our family and friends about your safety values because the onus of keeping our kids safe is on us, not them.⁠ ⁠ So what does that mean for you? There are a variety of things we can do to set ourselves up for success.⁠ ⁠ ➡️ When we share with our kids that it's OKAY not to hug people if you don't want to, we have to preface that by letting the grown-ups know that we don't force our kids to hug and kiss people and it's not a reflection of their love or feelings, nor a sign of disrespect. We also have to support that at the moment and help our kids confirm their boundaries.⁠ ⁠ ➡️ When we share with our kids that we don't keep secrets and no healthy adult should be asking us to, we should preface it by letting the people around us know that is one of our safety values.⁠ ⁠ ➡️ When we share with our children that they should do check-ins with us, we should be doing check-ins with them. Leaving the table to find our kids and see where they are and who they are with isn't always the most convenient - but it is necessary.⁠ ⁠ You can reach out ahead of time to anyone you feel might not understand your boundaries and reaffirm their importance to your family, along with your safety values. #Thankful #Thanksgiving2024 #ThanksgivingSafety

Thanksgiving is coming up and here are some thoughts. 🦃⤵️ #ThanksGivingSafety #ThanksGiving #ThanksGivingFamilySafety #AbusePrevention #AbusePreventionEducation

Kids are befriending chatbots on apps, asking them for advice, engaging in sexual conversations, sharing their feelings of depression, and explaining why and how they are engaging in self-harm—and in many situations, those chatbots are advising them, encouraging them, and giving them tools to accomplish their immediate goals. ⁠🛑💬⁠ ⁠ Which means, if a child tells the chatbot they are thinking of killing themselves, the chatbot may suggest ways they can. ⁠ ⁠ We HAVE to realize that there are significant safety issues even when the conversation isn’t happening with a person. ⁠ ⁠ And—we have got to talk to our kids about it. ⁠ ⁠ #AbusePrevention #KidsSafety #AbusePreventionSafety #AISafety

Sometimes we get caught up in how to define complicated things. ⁠ For any of you who have followed me for a while, you know I have spent a lot of time differentiating between secrets and surprises. ⁠ ⁠ The way we use those words and how we engage with our kids. ⁠ ⁠ I recently had someone reach out asking how to differentiate privacy and secrecy. ⁠ ⁠ Think about the difference like this:⁠ ⁠ 🔏Privacy is about the healthy personal boundaries that you can create for yourself and they END when that moment ends. ⁠ ⁠ You want privacy when you go to the bathroom. ⁠ You want privacy when you're changing. ⁠ ⁠ 🤫 Secrecy is different. ⁠ ⁠ ⁠Secrets never have an ending - ever. ⁠ Secrets are about keeping information hidden from people around you. ⁠ Maybe you were asked to or maybe it was suggested to you. ⁠ ⁠ But it doesn't have to do with your boundaries. ⁠ ⁠ Before teaching something like this to kids, we must sit with it for ourselves. ⁠ ⁠ Does this resonate? ⁠ What do you think the difference is? ⁠ ⁠ Let me know below!⁠ #PrivacySecrecy #AbusePreventionTools #AbusePreventionTips

KIDS ARE NOT CONTENT. I'm always surprised by the amount of people that don't really understand that statement. But if you look at the amount of parent-run kid accounts or the amounts of professionals who post their students on their personal social media accounts — it's clear that not everyone feels this way. This past week I shared with over 150 parents at a parent workshop in Texas, how people are using AI technology to make "regular" images of kids - look like something else, sending those pictures to our kids and threatening them with exposure or mass dissemination. It only takes a moment to read any of the trending news articles about these issues, about exploitation and about how much trauma is occurring because of this. It is for THIS reason that you won't see any of the amazing photos, that photographers have taken of me working with kids and students. I don't post them because your kids are not my content. Your kids are not my content. I can recreate content and STILL be heard, even if I don't use kids to show it. What do you think about this statement? #AbusePrevention #AbusePreventionTools #ChildrenSafety