What are the best practices for coaching others on emotional skills?

Emotional skills are essential for effective communication, collaboration, and leadership in any context. However, developing and improving these skills is not always easy or intuitive. As a facilitator, you can play a vital role in coaching others on emotional skills, such as self-awareness, empathy, emotional regulation, and emotional expression. In this article, we will share some best practices for coaching others on emotional skills, based on the principles of emotional intelligence and adult learning.

1 Assess the needs

Before you start coaching others on emotional skills, you need to assess their current level of emotional competence, their learning goals, and their preferred learning style. You can use various tools and methods to do this, such as self-assessments, 360-degree feedback, interviews, observations, or surveys. The purpose of this step is to identify the strengths and gaps of the learners, as well as their motivation and readiness for change.

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2 Create a safe space

Coaching others on emotional skills requires a high level of trust, openness, and respect between you and the learners. You need to create a safe space where the learners feel comfortable to share their emotions, experiences, and challenges, without fear of judgment, criticism, or rejection. You can do this by setting clear expectations and boundaries, establishing rapport and empathy, listening actively and attentively, and providing constructive and supportive feedback.

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Valencia M.

Success Mentor. Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach.
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I like to create a safe space from the very beginning by sharing a set of facilitation ground rules. One of them is that it is not okay to blame, shame, or attack people. We can disagree with an idea while still respecting the person who believes in the idea, for example. After sharing the ground rules, the group asks questions or share which ones resonate with them. The group members can also add to the list before we approve the list of ground rules we are agreeing to abide by during our time together experiencing the facilitation. The point of having the ground rules is not to call people out, but to invite people to rephrase or reframe whenever what we or others influences an emotional response.

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3 Use experiential learning

Emotional skills are best learned through practice and reflection, not through lectures or theories. You need to use experiential learning methods that engage the learners in meaningful and relevant activities that challenge and stimulate their emotional abilities. For example, you can use role plays, simulations, games, case studies, or stories to elicit and explore emotions, and then debrief and discuss the learning outcomes and implications.

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Nick Brashier
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I believe that experiential learning is key in this topic of Emotional Intelligence and Skills. We have been using VR to bring to life this topic, in placing the user in the body of two people and seeing the same scenario from the two different perspectives. This experience we built/use is based on data and real life examples, really making the user reflect on what they have seen. The conversation is incredibly powerful after too and provides some great takeaways. Innovative technology is only going to support this area further with the use of eye tracking, voice/word review, heart rate analysis, as well as providing important data in a safe space, where mistakes are made and welcomed to facilitate growth.

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Angie Asa-Lovstad

Empowering Change-Makers: Facilitator, Trainer, and Coach at ASA Facilitation
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Understanding one self through an assessment and then identifying a mirrored self to observe how people interact with that person. Notice what are triggers that create some conflict. I have the person reflect on what they noticed and how they may have experienced this themselves.

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4 Encourage self-awareness

Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence and the key to emotional skill development. You need to encourage the learners to become more aware of their own emotions, triggers, patterns, and impact on others. You can do this by asking open-ended and reflective questions, using feedback and mirrors, facilitating self-discovery and self-inquiry, and providing tools and resources for self-monitoring and self-evaluation.

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Debra Bell-Campbell, MS, NCC, CPM

5x💡 LinkedIn’s Top Leadership Development Voice. Empowering Introverted Women in Leadership To Increase Their Career and Financial Growth By Leveraging Their Authenticity.
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As it relates to developing self-awareness, I am a strong proponent of preference assessments like the Myers-Briggs. Of course, there are others available, yet this one covers some distinctive features that I find helpful in understanding people and our surroundings. Self-Awareness is about discovering and embracing those things about you that make you unique as well as your vulnerabilities. Self-discovery is an amazing feat and as facilitators, helping others learn how to start the process is rewarding.

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5 Foster emotional regulation

Emotional regulation is the ability to manage and control one's emotions, especially in stressful or challenging situations. You need to foster the learners' emotional regulation skills by helping them identify and cope with their emotional triggers, recognize and shift their emotional states, and express their emotions appropriately and effectively. You can do this by teaching them relaxation and breathing techniques, cognitive and behavioral strategies, and communication and assertiveness skills.

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6 Promote emotional expression

Emotional expression is the ability to communicate one's emotions to others in a clear, authentic, and respectful way. You need to promote the learners' emotional expression skills by helping them understand and appreciate the value and benefits of emotional expression, as well as the potential barriers and risks. You can do this by modeling and demonstrating emotional expression, providing opportunities and feedback for emotional expression, and facilitating emotional connection and empathy among the learners.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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What are the best practices for coaching others on emotional skills?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Assess the needs

2 Create a safe space

3 Use experiential learning

4 Encourage self-awareness

5 Foster emotional regulation

6 Promote emotional expression

7 Here’s what else to consider

Facilitation

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What are the best practices for coaching others on emotional skills?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Assess the needs

2 Create a safe space

3 Use experiential learning

4 Encourage self-awareness

5 Foster emotional regulation

6 Promote emotional expression

7 Here’s what else to consider

Facilitation

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