How do you handle behavioral questions that seem invasive or too personal?

Navigating the minefield of behavioral questions during interviews or meetings can be tricky, especially when they tread into personal territory. You might encounter questions that seem to pry into your private life, which can be uncomfortable and even inappropriate, depending on the context. Understanding how to handle these situations with grace and professionalism is crucial in maintaining your boundaries while still engaging in effective business communication. This article will guide you through strategies to address invasive or overly personal behavioral questions without compromising your personal boundaries or professional relationships.

1 Stay Calm

When faced with a personal or invasive question, your first reaction might be surprise or discomfort. It's essential to stay calm and composed. Take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts before responding. Remember, you have the right to set boundaries. A measured response can include acknowledging the question and redirecting the conversation to a more professional topic or aspect of the question that you are comfortable discussing. This approach allows you to maintain control over the information you choose to share.

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Kartik Paruthi

25K+ LinkedIn || IT Strategy - Presales, FinOps, Digital Transformation, Software License advisory, Cost Optimization || CSAM & FinOps Certified || Ex - EY, AmEx || Blue Chapter & GGI Impact Scholar
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It's perfectly reasonable to feel uncomfortable with some behavioral interview questions: 1. Acknowledge and Refocus: Briefly acknowledge the question's personal nature. Then, smoothly refocus your answer on the skills and experience relevant to the job. 2. Focus on transferable skills: Use the question as an opportunity to showcase a transferable skill the job requires. 3. Provide a hypothetical scenario: If you're truly uncomfortable discussing a specific situation, you can offer a hypothetical scenario that demonstrates the same skill. 4. Ask for clarification: Sometimes, a question might seem invasive because it's unclear. Don't be afraid to politely ask the interviewer for clarification.

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2 Set Boundaries

It's important to establish and enforce your personal boundaries when confronted with invasive questions. Politely but firmly, you can state that you prefer not to discuss certain personal matters in a professional setting. You can explain that you would like to keep the focus on your professional skills and experiences relevant to the job or discussion at hand. By setting these boundaries, you signal respect for yourself and for the professional context of the conversation.

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Barbara Levenson Schweitzer

President at Levenson Schweitzer Attorney Placement, Inc. California-based legal recruiter and interview coach with 35 years of experience.
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If someone asks you a question that makes you feel uncomfortable, before you react, ask the other person, "what made you ask that?" Turning the focus back to the questioner is the first step in alerting the questioner that they are on the verge of crossing a line. Giving them an opportunity to clarify their intention can help you figure out how, or if, to answer the question. If you're not comfortable with their response, I'd suggest saying something like "I'm not sure how that is relevant for our purposes. Please explain." If they start to back peddle, suggest that you move on to another topic. If they stand firm on wanting the question answered, at that point, I would say "I'm not comfortable answering that question."

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3 Redirect Focus

If a question feels too personal, redirecting the conversation to a related professional topic is a tactful way to steer away from discomfort. You can acknowledge the underlying concern of the question, such as commitment or work-life balance, and then provide an answer that highlights your professional experiences or competencies. This technique demonstrates your ability to focus on what's relevant for the job while avoiding topics that you find too personal.

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4 Offer Alternatives

When you're uncomfortable with a question, offering an alternative response is a strategic way to navigate the situation. Suggest discussing your skills, achievements, or professional goals that are pertinent to the role instead. This tactic not only helps you avoid disclosing personal information but also showcases your proactive attitude and your focus on contributing positively to the organization or conversation.

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5 Seek Clarification

Sometimes, a question may seem personal, but the intention behind it is purely professional. If you're unsure about the relevance of a question, don't hesitate to ask for clarification. Inquire how the question relates to the job requirements or the topic of discussion. This gives the questioner an opportunity to rephrase their inquiry in a more appropriate manner and ensures that you are responding to what is genuinely being asked.

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6 Practice Responses

Preparation is key in handling personal questions with ease. Practice potential responses to common personal questions in advance so you're not caught off guard. Think about ways to articulate your boundaries and redirect conversations without appearing evasive. By preparing, you'll feel more confident in your ability to handle sensitive questions and maintain your professionalism in any business communication scenario.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Barbara Levenson Schweitzer

President at Levenson Schweitzer Attorney Placement, Inc. California-based legal recruiter and interview coach with 35 years of experience.
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We all have different life experiences, which can lead to misunderstandings. How often have you had a misunderstanding with a close friend, partner, or family member? How often do you and your siblings have different memories of the same event? We often hold our colleagues or future colleagues to a higher standard. We expect them to know what we are thinking and why. However, unless someone knows what your triggers are--and chooses to ignore them--give others grace, and give yourself grace for when you make a mistake. A mistake made with good intentions is forgivable. A mistake made with malice is not.

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How do you handle behavioral questions that seem invasive or too personal?

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1 Stay Calm

2 Set Boundaries

3 Redirect Focus

4 Offer Alternatives

5 Seek Clarification

6 Practice Responses

7 Here’s what else to consider

Business Communications

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How do you handle behavioral questions that seem invasive or too personal?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Stay Calm

2 Set Boundaries

3 Redirect Focus

4 Offer Alternatives

5 Seek Clarification

6 Practice Responses

7 Here’s what else to consider

Business Communications

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