How can you set boundaries with peers to avoid over-sharing personal information?

1 Recognize the signs of over-sharing

Over-sharing is when you disclose more information than is appropriate, relevant, or helpful for the context or the person you are talking to. Signs of over-sharing may include feeling anxious, guilty, or regretful after sharing something; sharing details that are too intimate, sensitive, or controversial; compromising your privacy, safety, or reputation; affecting your peer's trust, respect, or comfort level; and sharing information that is not related to the peer's goals, needs, or interests. If you recognize any of these signs, it is important to pause and reflect on why you are over-sharing and how you can adjust your communication.

2 Establish clear and consistent boundaries

Boundaries are the limits and expectations that you set for yourself and others in your interactions. They help protect your personal space, values, and identity. To set boundaries with peers, it's essential to be clear about your role and purpose as a supportive ally who can share relevant and appropriate experiences and insights. Additionally, you should be respectful of your peer's boundaries and preferences. Ask for their consent before sharing anything personal and respect their right to say no or to change the topic. When communicating your boundaries, be assertive and confident. Use polite and direct language to express your limits and expectations without apologizing or justifying them; they are valid and reasonable.

5 Practice self-care and self-compassion

Setting boundaries with peers can be stressful, exhausting, or emotionally draining, so it's important to practice self-care and self-compassion to help you cope and recover from the demands and challenges of your peer support role. To do this, you should take care of your physical health by getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising regularly, and avoiding substances that may impair your judgment or mood. Additionally, you should take care of your mental health by managing your stress, expressing your emotions, engaging in hobbies or activities that you enjoy, and learning new skills or knowledge that you find interesting. It's also important to take care of your spiritual health by connecting with your values, beliefs, or faith, meditating or praying, spending time in nature, or finding meaning or purpose in your life. Finally, take care of your social health by maintaining or building positive and supportive relationships with people who respect and appreciate you, setting aside time for fun and relaxation, and seeking help when you need it.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?