Failure and rejection can trigger a range of emotions, such as anger, sadness, frustration, shame, or fear. These emotions are natural and valid, and you should not suppress or ignore them. Instead, acknowledge them and allow yourself to feel them fully. This will help you process them and release them, rather than letting them build up and affect your self-esteem and motivation. You can also use some coping techniques, such as breathing exercises, journaling, meditation, or talking to someone you trust, to help you manage your emotions and calm yourself down.
In my experience as a life coach, I like to remind myself that failure/rejection isn't permanent and not to take it personally. I can turn it around, learn from the event and use it to prepare me for a future challenge.
Failure and rejection are not signs of your worthlessness or incompetence as a coach. They are inevitable and unavoidable parts of any learning process and any business venture. They are also feedback that can help you identify what is working and what is not, and what you can do differently or better. Instead of seeing failure and rejection as threats or obstacles, try to see them as opportunities or challenges. Reframe your perspective and adopt a growth mindset, which means that you believe that you can learn, grow, and improve from any experience, and that your abilities are not fixed or limited.
Once you have acknowledged your emotions and reframed your perspective, you can analyze your situation and learn from your mistakes. Ask yourself some questions, such as: What went wrong? What was under your control and what was not? What did you do well and what did you do poorly? What can you learn from this experience? What can you change or improve? What can you do differently next time? Be honest and objective with yourself, and avoid blaming yourself or others. Use the feedback you received from your clients, peers, or mentors, and also seek out more feedback if possible. Feedback is essential for your growth and development as a coach, and you should welcome it and appreciate it, even if it is negative or constructive.
Within every coaching model is the benchmark of your client achieving a goal. I’ve found over the years that being clear about those benchmarks is a valuable step in the process. What may be perceived as a failure can always be revisited as a benchmark within your program. As you work with larger groups of clientele, there is a greater potential for people dropping out of your program, people having to start over, and people completing the program with a different result than what was planned. Using those insights can help you to become a better coach and alleviates the pressure to compare one clients success to another.
After you have analyzed your situation and learned from your mistakes, you need to take action and apply your learnings. Make a plan of action that outlines what steps you will take to improve your skills, strategies, or systems as a coach. Set realistic and specific goals and track your progress. Seek out more opportunities to practice, experiment, or test your ideas. Find ways to challenge yourself and stretch your comfort zone. Seek out more support or guidance from other coaches, mentors, or experts. Celebrate your achievements and successes, no matter how small or big. Taking action will help you regain your confidence and momentum, and show yourself that you can overcome failure and rejection.
Failure and rejection can take a toll on your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. That is why it is important to practice self-care and nurture yourself as a coach. Self-care means taking care of your basic needs, such as eating well, sleeping enough, exercising regularly, and relaxing. It also means doing things that make you happy, such as spending time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, or expressing yourself creatively. Self-care will help you recharge your energy, boost your mood, and maintain your balance and resilience as a coach.
Finally, one of the most powerful ways to cope with failure and rejection as a life coach is to cultivate gratitude. Gratitude means being thankful for what you have, what you have achieved, and what you have learned. It also means being appreciative of the people who support you, inspire you, and challenge you. Gratitude will help you focus on the positive aspects of your coaching practice, rather than the negative ones. It will also help you develop a more optimistic and hopeful attitude, and attract more abundance and opportunities into your life.
Failure is a big part of my motivation to never give up. My coaching style is not that of toxic positivity. I truly do care about my clients and want to see them thrive. if you don’t fall down you can’t get up. Failure is a super strong word. There is no failure without doing. So giving credit for the act of doing something that is a risk is admirable. If you are self aware, you can take the lesson from the experience and reference it when attempting something new. Resilience is all part of the process. So don’t use failure as an excuse not to keep going. Do or do not, there is no try - Yoda.