How can you use conflict resolution to strengthen relationships with colleagues?

In my opinion, conflict are like smoke, the fire is somewhere. Therefore, in resolving conflicts, first try to identify the source and then the why such a situation should result in the conflict. With the application of emotional intelligence, even the people in conflict situations can understand themselves more as well as being aware of the other person’s motivations with a view to avoiding such. Poor communication skills can also result in unintended conflicts.

The fastest way to understand conflict is with 5 whys (aka “root cause analysis”) Not literal, here’s how I use it 👇 (1) “Hey James, you’re late again, third time this week. What’s going on?” James: “sorry, slept through my alarm” (2) oh man, I hate that. How’d that happen? James: “honestly I was so tired I didn’t hear it. Usually never happens.” (3) (curious tone) usually never happens? James: “yeah. I haven’t been sleeping enough recently. But it won’t happen again.” (4) sorry to hear that, is everything ok? James: “actually… my dad is sick and I’ve been staying up late to check in on him since he’s in a different time zone.” (5) I imagine you must be very worried about him. What can I do to help support you… Root cause IDed

When working towards conflict resolution, an approach with consideration of emotional and even cultural intelligence is ideal. Being an active listener, effectively communicating, and being open to the wants and needs of others are ideal ways to enhance mutual respect amongst parties. You can’t always make each individual happy when resolving conflict, but creating a level of understand and ensuring each individual knows that they matter and their opinions matter, will ultimately aid in conflict resolution.

While conflict resolution can certainly help strengthen relationships with colleagues by promoting open communication and understanding, it's important to recognize that it's not always the most effective approach. Sometimes, avoiding conflict altogether or simply agreeing to disagree can be just as valuable in maintaining positive relationships. Additionally, if conflict resolution is used as a means of suppressing one person's needs or opinions in favor of another's, it can actually do more harm than good. Ultimately, the key to using conflict resolution effectively is to approach it with an open mind and a willingness to listen and compromise, while also recognizing that sometimes it may not be the best solution for every situation.

My view is Conflict of Culture at times is inevitable as long as we are not moving towards Culture of Conflicts. Conflicts do happen when there are ideological differences, intellectual differences and in most cases there will be nothing right or wrong on both sides and that is when problem multiplies. Here is where Leadership matters. It is important to understand that the bedrock of any organisation is the values and culture being nourished. As long as the Leadership is able to align the resolution in line with organization values and culture and being unbiased in the approach matters most.

A diplomatic approach will take you a long way. Be neutral, establish a clear code of conduct for the meeting. Identify the source for the conflict and any deal breaker limits the parties may have. Find the best win-win solution possible. And above all, follow up to ensure that the conflict remain resolved. Look at conflict resolution as a negotiation, just a negotiation to get along with each other.

If you're looking to strengthen your team and build trust, effective conflict resolution can be a great way to do it. Here's the quick rundown based on what I've found works: 1. Keep communication open so everyone feels free to express concerns. 2. Listen actively to ensure everyone feels heard, reducing tension. 3. Aim for win-win solutions that align with team goals. 4. Address conflicts early to nip problems in the bud. 5. Follow through to make sure everyone sticks to the agreed-upon resolutions. 6. Stay neutral and don't take sides to maintain team balance. 7. Consider offering training to avoid future misunderstandings. By tackling conflicts and resolving them effectively, you're setting the stage for a strong team environment.

Once you remove the noise, all that is left is data. Focus on data to find the answer, as 9 out of 10, the 2 parties don't share the same data set or data interpretation. Eliminate the noise and cool down the parties' emotions to foster a proper alignment on the root cause and buy-in on the solution

In my opinion, sometimes a mediator or third-party facilitator may also be helpful in finding a mutually beneficial solution.

Sometimes an ideal short-term win-win solution is not realistic. Instead of getting stuck and digging trenches on both sides expand your mind and look for win-win solutions over time. A feasible solution could be a win-partial win now with a partial win-greater win in a month or two. Most important is that the involved parties leave the conflict resolution feeling they have a fair solution. Otherwise the conflict will only grow over time.

We have a tendency to jump to the solution. Einstein said that if he had one hour to solve a problem, he would dedicate 55 minutes to understand the problem and 5 to solve it. Complex problems shall not be solved on the spot. It is actually a good think to end the discussion without a decision and allow all team members some time to think and metabolize what has been discussed, reconvening the next day to force a solution

Ironically, drawing out dissent in a conflict can be a fast-track to finding harmony. What are the deeper issues? How is the culture of the team or company embracing conflict as a generative practice?

Coming from a space of empathy, active listening, and a collaborative mindset, is critical to turn conflicts into opportunities for growth and strengthen our relationships with colleagues in the process.

Communicating effectively is crucial for all human engagement. In my career as a social work educator and practioner and an observer of human behavior I've come to appreciate that people not only have different learning styles, but they also have diverse understanding styles. Conflicts can occur because of basic differences in opinions, but how often do conflicts occur because of a disconnect in actually understanding someone else's opinion? How often is there a disconnect between what is communicated and what is heard? How often is there not an actual conflict in agreement, but a disconnect between communication and understanding what is actually being said? Perhaps there are more misunderstandings needing resolution than conflicts.

I've learned the power of owning your feelings in conflict resolution. Strong emotion is, after all, part of being human. It does like to make an appearance during conflict, though, and in the absence of self-awareness, can snatch the reins out of your hands and now the conversation is veering off course. Acknowledging any strong feelings at the start of the conversation ("I notice I'm feeling some frustration right now...") while signaling your intention to work past them ("....but I'm committed to finding a solution that works for both of us") puts you back in the driver's seat.

I have realized communication can be the difference between conflict resolution coming across as accusations to which someone has to defend themselves, or a sober but well conducted conversation that looks at the growth of an individual and a team. I have always been told that it is not only what you say but also how you say it that matters. Be mindful of the words you use and also the setting you pick to have the discussion. Let it not be an issue of all this is on you and see what you have done to the team or company. Rather, let it be an issue of the person knowing what they did was not right but that this is an opportunity for them to grow and they have the full support of the team!

Disrespectful communication in a conflict is like pouring fuel on the fire. You do not only risk a positive outcome of the conflict resolution. In addition you risk your trust and respect among your colleagues and fellow leaders. Showing emotions and compassion is important in conflict resolution. However utilize them in setting clear boundaries and keeping a positive, solution oriented atmosphere.

I've found that one of the most efficient ways of building trust and respect is by validating another's opinion. To be seen and heard is one of the greatest gifts you can give someone. Simply acknowledging their opinion and perspectives opens a pathway to resolution. To offer this gift during conflict is next level.

A healthy practice is to conduct and document systematic post-mortems for big projects. This allows the team to self-reflect and discuss corrective actions on teamwork protocol, organization design and work process.

Growth mindset, lifelong learning and iterate, iterate, iterate. That is the solution to many problems, also within conflict resolution.

In monitoring progress care should be exercised so as to avoid being belligerent on those who are rather slow to applying conflict resolution decisions.

Complex initiatives require a periodic follow-up discipline. Two different approaches. 1. If the project is complex with frequent events/actions, it's best to set up a Scrum Meeting. The team meets with a fixed cadence (normally weekly), day, time, and room. The room has a billboard that captures the project's key actions. The team members update each other verbally while standing; no technology. The project coordinator updates the KPI on the billboard. Meeting below 30 minutes. 2. Traditional meetings, frequency bi-monthly or monthly to protect the team's time. Minimize presentation, adopt standardized templates, and a progress chart capturing key actions, progress, and barriers. Ensure live minutes are read at the meeting end.

When following up on conflict resolution be sure to use your soft skills. The continuous process goals, milestones, support and feedback are all great tools. However, in the end it's all about aknowledging peoples point of view, emotions, integrity and value. Only by making each individual in the process feel valuable can you ensure a successful conflict resolution.

I always thought there’s something extraordinary when two vocal adversaries come to terms. Having a diverse team with strong voices that still manages to come together because the company cause unites them is a cultural force. Show your teams that you might disagree with someone’s opinions 99% of the time and still value their input. A culture that is not encouraging diversity of opinions is bound to stagnate and get complacent.

Diversity bias, which is putting a higher value on the opinion of those who are similar to you is a constant threat. A good solution is to assign a meeting moderator, not involved in the project, who ensures all voices are heard, even those voices who would rather stay in the shadows.

It is really about equity. All people have the same value. By using that as starting point you can view conflicts and disagreements as different ideas on paths to reach your mutual goal. Then the conflict resolution becomes a negotiation about the best direction forward. When viewing conflict this way you minimize focus on differences and maximize your focus on the best direction to reach your mutual goal.

Conflict isn't always a sign of dysfunction; it can indicate psychological safety within a team, especially among colleagues. When team members feel safe, they're more likely to voice opinions and challenge norms, leading to constructive conflicts. These conflicts can foster innovation and stronger cohesion if managed well. So, the next time you encounter conflict, consider it an opportunity for growth and a sign of a psychologically safe environment.

Always remember: "Peace is the soil on which peace grows." (S. Eze, Jr.) In resolving conflicts, we first have to be at peace with ourselves. Only then, can we bring about peace in a conflict among team members

Conflict can be a gift as a foundation to build stronger relationships. Conflict can be kind of the sandpaper rub you do before gluing things together. Conflicts help people get beyond their superficial selves to show what they are like at their core, under pressure. Relations built in the aftermath of conflict can be some of the strongest.

Sometimes a leader cannot avoid a conflict. Living in Sweden, I am a supporter of the Swedish consensus approach - leaders seeking approval of the group before taking a crucial decision. At the same time we have to recognise that there are many situations in which it is simply impossible to reach consensus. Do not let this jeopardise your decision making!

In my experience I have grown to understand conflict is part of growth! Often we have a negative connotation to the notion of conflict and this affects how we navigate through it. The realization that conflict is part of life and it can be an opportunity for growth helps you to approach conflict resolution from a very different angle. It is no longer a surprise when conflict arises and you can now look at how to actually use it as a catalyst for character growth and team strengthening.