What do you do if you lack assertiveness and confidence in a non-profit setting?

Being assertive comes more easily to some individuals than others. In the non-profit space, individual contributions and opinions are usually given due consideration. But like in all workspaces, sometimes it is called for being assertive. To be confident, you need to understand the value you bring. Do you hand people a bottle of water when it's hot? You are bringing value. Learning to be assertive may take time. Do not beat yourself up about it. Try offering your opinion in settings where you do not feel much pressure. Read books and articles on building your confidence and being assertive. Then take small steps at a time. This way, you feel less pressure and do not berate yourself for your lack of confidence or assertiveness.

Taking on new challenges is not easy, but there are ways we can create bits of proof for ourselves while we manage the fears that come up. Many people have belief wounding that can keep them from wanting to speak up and be assertive if they had evidence in the past that there were consequences for it. We might hold ourselves back because we fear failure, that we couldn't handle it, that people wouldn't take us seriously, or we might get rejected. The quickest way I've found is using EFT tapping, an odd-looking but super effective mind body tool we can use as a strategy to release these fears and create more empowering beliefs that allow us to take small action steps in speaking up to create new evidence that we can do it:)

Your lack of assertiveness and confidence may have come from your childhood experience or societal culture, so it may not be easy to overcome that by just taking courses. One thing you can do is identify your strengths and take on a task where you can shine, and go about quietly fulfilling on that task. When the month end reports are in, or you have a staff or team meeting, the results speak for themselves, and you would be recognized for your work. Keep believing in your skills set and strengths, and exceed deadlines, and ask for more work, so that your bosses can see your dedication and quiet passion in things you like to do or enjoy doing. In no time at all, you will be offered greater responsibility. That will raise your confidence.

When I notice a dip in my assertiveness or confidence within the nonprofit sector, it often stems from an incomplete understanding of the project at hand. Gaining a thorough grasp of all aspects of the project and clarifying the steps toward our goal bolsters my confidence. This enhanced knowledge and crystal clear vision of what needs to be done empowers me to lead more decisively and steer the project with confidence.

Most people that go into the non-profit space have good intentions, big dreams to make a difference, and an unwavering spirit to take action. The problem arises when there is lack of understanding of what it actually entails to start (or continue) a non-profit. This is where the fear comes in-- financial concerns, internal and external expectations, and LIFE bring this feeling to reality.

Listen, learn, and grow. When one lacks understanding there is no need to be ashamed. Knowledge is a powerful resource. The fear is not knowing, asking questions, or continuing to learn. Some say that ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is dangerous.

When a goal seems out of reach or you lack confidence, first remember who you are and believe that you are exactly who you were created to be. In order to grow, I've learned to celebrate the small victories, set a new goal and repeat. Every time you do what you said will do, you win. Even if the results were not exactly what you hoped for, you now have more confidence in your character and are building a strong foundation for your success in the future.

When I began this non-profit journey more than 10 years ago, my mission was to simply "change the world!"-- a statement that got me both admiration AND ridicule. Without knowing who it is we want to help, or what it is exactly we want to change, it makes it difficult for anyone to support us, both physically AND financially. The key is to get super specific, and build around that one idea. Furthermore, start small-- begin with one community, one school, and child. Then once you learn from both the triumphs and the tribulations, only then do you "scale".

I have seen people find it very useful to involve others in their small goal setting. This not only helps hold them accountable to an outcome, but allows for collaboration which helps build confidence and break down barriers. As they are in control of this collaboration it helps them also feel more confident. These first small steps to pushing past the fear barrier can make all of the difference, as they also help build your value as a team player, and allow you to learn from others in a respectful peer environment, so it is win-win.

How do we know we're doing the "right thing"? WE DON'T. We just do the work and evolve. By practicing what we preach, we take one step closer in becoming a beacon of hope to those who currently and eventually look up to us. This is when true CHANGE occurs.

This is more than just practice, you need to practice verbally and physically. Not just rehearse in your head. In order to feel more assertive you need to walk the talk, even if it is by yourself in front of a mirror selling your idea to yourself. Don't underestimate the power of hearing your own voice out loud, not just in your head. Actually speaking through your idea to yourself allows you to really hear what you are proposing, and this gives you a chance to not only build confidence, but to critically evaluate what you are saying before you try it in a group setting. Allowing you build you confidence and be more assertive but also allowing you to appear more thoughtful and prepared.

One of the greatest pieces of advice I received was from a friend, advisor, and mentor, Gary Vaynerchuck. He said "It doesn't matter if you're building a non-profit or a for-profit, you're essentially building a business...Build it as such." Although it shocked my team back in the Philippines, all of whom were on the calls with us and absolutely revered him, they were shocked that he wasn't as "heartfelt" as they'd expected. I told them that how that how he advised us was in fact more heartfelt that they expected, because we NEEDED to hear the truth, not just a sugar coated version of it.

I think the most important way to get good feedback that can help you become more assertive, is to surround yourself with the right people. The reality is, only certain people are going to be able to give you the feedback you really need. Some people just are not going to give you something productive to work with -- either they will be a yes-man or demeaning. You need to find people that you can trust, surround yourself with them, and ensure that they know that you want their feedback. Nothing is more frustrating as part of a team than giving feedback to people who clearly don't desire it.

For me, coming from a research and data analyst's perspective who also have experience in non-profit , when proposing an idea or making a request, present your case with data and evidence. Research to support your position and highlight how it aligns with the non-profit's goals. This factual approach builds confidence and demonstrates your commitment to the organization's mission.

This can have a huge impact on your ability to present and communicate, however, it is also very hard to do if you feel you are not assertive, or cant be heard in a room. If this is the case then go back to what you love, find something you are passionate, and by default positive about and make it part of your discussion. You will find confidence in familiarity, and this will allow you to embrace the positive for the rest of your discussion. Starting off on a strong and passionate note, also helps engage your audience and immediately allow you to look more assertive even if you don't feel that way immediately.

Don't try to tackle the most challenging situation right away. Begin by volunteering for smaller tasks or speaking up in smaller meetings. As you gain success in these situations, small wins build your confidence. :)

One thing I’ve found helpful in building assertiveness in the non-profit sector is being prepared to give a solution. Some of the best ways to serve your organization is providing your unique perspective to a problem. In some cases competency is ascribed when you are able to bring attention to different problems that arise, if you have a solution.

Really understand what your nonprofit does, how it accomplishes its goals and what your future plans are for your nonprofit. The more informed you are, the more confident you will be. And, be involved with your nonprofit. Be passionate. When you speak from the heart, your timidness fades away because you are not advocating for yourself but for a cause you passionately support.