Now Is the Way: An Unconventional Approach to Modern Mindfulness

Praise for Now Is the Way

This might be the most important book you ever read.

—AUBREY MARCUS, NEW YORK TIMES–BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF OWN THE DAY, OWN YOUR LIFE, FROM THE FOREWORD

This perfectly timed book is the antidote to our overwhelmed, distracted, and anxiety-ridden modern world. Cory directs us to the present moment with clarity and ease. Read this book and enjoy finding your bliss in the only place it resides . . . right now.

—EMILY FLETCHER, AUTHOR OF STRESS LESS, ACCOMPLISH MORE AND FOUNDER OF ZIVA MEDITATION

This honest, hilarious, kind, wise, and extremely readable guide to presence, to NOW, is priceless and may well be the most important book you own. It has been a daily companion, guiding me back to reality, to what’s actually happening, reeling me back to my breath, reminding me to relax, and making me laugh along the way.

—DEVENDRA BANHART, AUTHOR OF WEEPING GANG BLISS VOID YAB-YUM AND GRAMMY–NOMINATED MUSICIAN

Sometimes the modern world can feel overwhelming. Stress and depression run rampant even in the most affluent countries on earth. The good news is that Cory Allen is your new best friend for those times when anxiety has you by the throat. His superhero power is mindfulness. And his ability to break it down in an easily applicable way is second to none.

—DANIELE BOLELLI, AUTHOR OF NOT AFRAID AND HOST OF THE HISTORY ON FIRE PODCAST

Cory will help you think, rethink your thinking, and then transcend your thinking.

—JP SEARS, AUTHOR OF HOW TO BE ULTRA SPIRITUAL AND YOUTUBE STAR

We live in a world driven by ego, distraction, and endless anxiety. Learning to untangle ourselves from it is the work of a lifetime, but Cory Allen gives us a surprisingly simple way to begin that process.

—DAMIEN ECHOLS, NEW YORK TIMES–BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF LIFE AFTER DEATH

"The journey to Absolute Now is a lifelong calling demanding great courage and persistence. So, understandably, one might need some inspiration. Hopefully Now Is the Way will motivate you to stay the course."

—SHINZEN YOUNG, AUTHOR OF THE SCIENCE OF ENLIGHTENMENT

TARCHERPERIGEE

an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC

penguinrandomhouse.com

Copyright © 2019 by Cory Allen

Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Name: Allen, Cory, author.

Title: Now is the way: an unconventional approach to modern mindfulness / Cory Allen.

Description: New York: TarcherPerigee, [2019]

Identifiers: LCCN 2019010666| ISBN 9780525538042 (hardback) | ISBN 9780525538059 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Mindfulness (Psychology) | Distraction (Psychology) | BISAC: SELF-HELP / Meditations. | SELF-HELP / Anxieties & Phobias. | SELF-HELP / Personal Growth / Happiness.

Classification: LCC BF637.M56 A45 2019 | DDC 158.1/3—dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019010666

Penguin is committed to publishing works of quality and integrity. In that spirit, we are proud to offer this book to our readers; however, the story, the experiences, and the words are the author’s alone.

Version_1

TO MEREDITH

CONTENTS

PRAISE FOR NOW IS THE WAY

TITLE PAGE

COPYRIGHT

DEDICATION

FOREWORD BY AUBREY MARCUS

INTRODUCTION

now: finding the present

there: how we get lost

here: how we get back

how: how to live in the present

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Foreword

I’ve met a lot of amazing authors. Some have an idea, then scour other books and journals until they can write a book on the topic. Some of those books are great. But my favorite books are from authors whose words cascade onto pages like the exhalations of their breath. Because they are the living, breathing embodiment of their body of knowledge. That’s Cory Allen.

I’ve been friends with Cory for the better part of a decade. He’s human. There are times he gets anxious, sad, and agitated like all of us. But overwhelmingly, the characteristic I would use to describe him is present. He’s here, right now—wherever we are. I’ve never looked into his eyes and thought, Where did Cory go? What past regret or future promise has he projected his awareness into?

I know from my own experience, that characteristic doesn’t come genetically. Nobody is just born with a LeBron James talent level for being present. It’s something that is taught, honed, and learned. In all things, it is the practice that makes the master. And what better skill is there to be a master of than this? Sure, you can build a company, or score a goal, or have more sex. But if you aren’t present during all of those things . . . Guess what? You missed the point.

Life is here to be lived, not simply prolonged. Did you taste the food? Really taste it? Did you feel the coffee? Did you kiss the lips? Did you smile until it spread through your chest and laugh until it filled your belly? That is what matters, and none of that happens outside of the present moment.

So how do you get to the present? It starts with the knowledge that this is a way of expression that exists, followed by the introspection to realize if you are being present or not. Then, once you know the way, once you can track your mind, once you know who the YOU actually is . . . Well, you’re going to start spending a lot more time in the present.

The world tends to celebrate all the wrong things, so it’s easy to get confused. You’ll get so many accolades for what you do, regardless of whether you were really in the moment while you did them. When I’m present—really present, for anything—it’s the best time of my life. It’s the most important thing I can do. It’s where I get touched by the muse, it’s when I can feel Love in every cell of my body, it’s no longer fearing death because the moment stretches to infinity. Sometimes, though, it is simply peace—acceptance of pain, without the resistance that creates suffering. I could describe it as pure awareness.

Maybe living in the present seems like a promise that is too good to be true. Sure, it’s not easy. But it’s real. You can taste it at first, and eventually, you can make it the staple of your diet. Because the present moment is not a mythological place, only reserved for the few. It is our birthright that is waiting for us all. And if the discussions, stories, and tactics you find here can get you just a little bit closer, this might be the most important book you ever read.

—AUBREY MARCUS

Introduction

I’m glad that you’re reading. It means that you decided to take a moment for yourself. There are no distractions pulling at you. Nowhere you feel like you need to be. Time feels expansive. Your mind is open and ready to soak in what these pages have to offer. You’re able to take a deep breath, sink into your body, and engage with this moment of awareness.

Moments like these feel hard to come by. We tend to look at the times we can deeply connect with our lives as a reward. Like me, I’m sure you always have a million things you’re trying to stay on top of. The to-do list feels infinite. And that just makes you feel more stressed, which means it will be even harder for you to enjoy a moment for yourself.

It doesn’t feel like there are enough quiet spaces in our lives. Distraction is always waiting to pull our attention away and get us fidgeting again. There’s never a chance to turn down the stress knob, relax our shoulders, and let our mental chatter go. Living in the modern world, where the input never stops, doesn’t help either. Endless digital notifications are lined up, waiting to take a bite out of any moment you have.

But why should feeling the fullness of life be a reward? Shouldn’t it just be a way of living? We’re taught that we have to suffer now in order to enjoy ourselves later. That just isn’t true. It’s only one way of thinking. By changing the way we think about living, we can change how we live our lives. The good news is that thinking in a different way isn’t hard. In fact, you already know how to do it. You’re doing it now. You are here, in the present, focusing on these words.

Think back to the last two beautiful, peaceful, and soulful moments you experienced. Now imagine linking those moments together so they touch end to end. What if we could stretch that moment out? It sounds great. But let’s dream bigger. What if it was possible to live in that present, eye-twinkling, connected mindset all the time? Not only is living like that possible, but it has been waiting for you.

It only needs us to get out of our momentum of distraction and notice it.

In this book, I’m not going to show you how to simply feel present more often. I’m going to show you how to live in the present. I’ve spent most of my life looking for ways to feel at peace. I’m sure that you and I are not so different in that way. All of us look for ways to feel content and at ease. In my case, I needed to find a lot of peace because I was holding a lot of suffering. We’ll get into what caused some of that suffering later on in the book and how I found my way out of it. For now, I’ll tell you that the road I traveled wasn’t exactly bump-free. But it worked out well. I’m a happy person and I feel grateful for every day that I spend on Earth.

No matter how frustrated or hopeless I’ve felt, I always had a small ember of hope in my heart that refused to be extinguished by the cold rain of life. I kept believing, putting one foot in front of the other, and finding my way to more peace. More beauty. More love. More life. I’ve practiced meditation for twenty years, read every book I could get my hands on, and passed the paintbrush of my mind to Salvador Dalí more times than I can count. All of those things taught me a lot about what it means to be human. However, it was what I started doing next that really opened my heart. I started to listen and allow myself to be the good but flawed person that I am.

Speaking of listening, one of my recent teachers has been my podcast, The Astral Hustle. On my show, I talk to leaders in the fields of mindfulness, neuroscience, and philosophy. It’s the greatest form of personal higher education I could imagine. I’ve had the honor of speaking with people including Sharon Salzberg, Ryan Holiday, Gretchen Rubin, Dr. Dan Siegel, Kevin Kelly, Robert Thurman, Joan Halifax, Dr. Rick Hanson, Matt Haig, Damien Echols, Frank Ostaseski, Dr. Judson Brewer, Donald Hoffman, Lama Tsultrim Allione, Culadasa, Elena Brower, and many others. For an hour a week, I get to ask one of these bright minds how we can make our lives better. After spending hundreds of hours talking with so many incredible people, you could say that I’ve picked up a few good ways of thinking.

Everything I’ve mentioned so far will come through in these pages. I’ll share what I’ve learned from my journey and the big ideas that came to me from exploring the minds of some of the most powerful thought leaders alive. I’ve simmered down all this wisdom into a rich sauce of ideas. This book contains what I believe to be the precise tools to help you live in the present moment, engage fully with your life, focus better, let go of your anxious stress, find balance, and get out of your head and into your heart.

What we’ll be focusing on in each part of the book is clear and easy to follow. First, in the Now section, you’ll learn what the present moment is and how you can experience it, right now. In the next part, "There, we’ll take a look at ways we get distracted and pulled out of our lives. From there, we will move to the next part, called Here. In this section, we’ll go over ways that you can bring yourself back to the present, no matter how far away you might be. We’ll finish our travels together with a two-part section called How." This part contains real, actionable steps to help you live a present-minded life as well as my secret playbook of meditation methods.

This book is a fresh take on living better. But the way it’s put together isn’t what makes it fresh. The way we’ll talk is. I want to break the mold on how self-development books typically go. I don’t want to serve you thoughts that read well but don’t stick. I want your life to change. So, we’re going to talk through this book. Think of each small section like we’re sitting down for a coffee together. I’m going to share stories and thoughts that honestly helped me in my life. Because I want you to experience real change. I want you to be able to put every part of our conversation to work in your life. I probably don’t know you personally. But I don’t have to. I care about you. Because you’re alive. I know what that feels like because I am, too. I know joy, suffering, pain, and pleasure. I know desire, freedom, hope, and fear. I know what it feels like for your life to start slipping away. And I know how to grab it and pull it back. I want to share all of this with you. Because together in the present moment we can live better, glow brighter, and